Monday 1 January 2018

"A variety of various variables." ---- Brilliant Minister Discusses Government’s Exciting New Energy Plan

Brilliant Minister Discusses Government’s Exciting New Energy Plan
National Radio, 9:15 a.m., Tuesday 30 August 2011
KATHRYN RYAN: What does this involve? Because, frankly, it sounds like a pipe dream.
Rt. Hon. HEKIA PARATA: Well, ahhhh, ummmm, it includes a variety of various variables. We have a suite of variables. Ahhhhh, look, we are a first world nation and that means exploring and exploiting the opportunities available to us. Ummmm, there is a suite of measures… Ahhh, ummmm,.. look, aahhhhmmm, look… you know… aaaahhhhhmmmm, the commercial ummmm, ahhhh, acumen of New Zealand… ummm. the more strategic ummmm block offer approach… We also can manage ummmm in a predictable and transparent wayyyyyy, ummmm… prospectivity… ummmm…
KATHRYN RYAN: How much increase in the acreage for exploitation are you foreseeing?
Rt. Hon. HEKIA PARATA: Ummm, ahhhh, we will go at this in a measured way. Ummmmmm, ahhhh. We are trying to ensure a very ummmmm, ahhhh, managed and ahhhhhh transparent regime.
KATHRYN RYAN: You’re talking about a QUADRUPLING in a very short period of time.
Rt. Hon. HEKIA PARATA: Ummmmm, ahhhhh…well, ahhh…I’ve been talking to Stephen Joyce about insurance.
KATHRYN RYAN: We’re worried about a Gulf style disaster, not insurance!
Rt. Hon. HEKIA PARATA: Ummmmm, ahhhhhh. There is ummmm, ahhhh, ummmmm, risk in every industry. This ummmm, ahhhh, comprehensive regime is designed to ummmm, ahhhh, mitigate this risk.
KATHRYN RYAN: Really appreciate your time, Minister.
Rt. Hon. HEKIA PARATA: Byeeeeeeeee!
  • Lanthanide11.1
    Well, I listened to this part of the interview, and your transcript here is nothing like what Hekia actually sounded like.
    I guess that’s the last time I trust your transcripts of anything. 
  • Morrissey11.1.1
    Our gallant friend Lanthanide has, incredibly, decided to climb up on his high horse and gallop to the defence of one of this rotten government’s less distinguished performers…
    Well, I listened to this part of the interview, and your transcript here is nothing like what Hekia actually sounded like.
    I started engaging with this horrifically incompetent performance when I heard her blither desperately about “various variables”. I edited out most of the really tedious stuff, where she unwisely tried to string together words other than “ummm”, “ahhhh” and “look”. I captured exactly the essence of what she said.
    I guess that’s the last time I trust your transcripts of anything.
    I made up none of this. It’s a fair but condensed transcript, designed to highlight the inanity and lack of knowledge of a Minister of the Crown. You know that perfectly well.
    • Lanthanide11.1.1.1
      “I made up none of this. It’s a fair but condensed transcript, designed to highlight the inanity and lack of knowledge of a Minister of the Crown. You know that perfectly well.”
      You just admitted it’s biased. You “condensed” (read: left out) most of her content and left the waffle in place to deliberately portray her differently to how her words were spoken on the show.
      If she is really as bad as you say, surely you can actually transcribe what she said and let the readers come to that conclusion themselves.
      Transcripts have to be accurate or they’re worthless. No MSM outlet would get away with publishing your drek and calling it a “transcript”.
      • Morrissey11.1.1.1.1
        You “condensed” (read: left out) most of her content and left the waffle in place to deliberately portray her differently to how her words were spoken on the show.
        I boiled her words down until what we were left with was Essence of Parata, i.e., basically thick and indigestible rubbish—-and once you look past the glossy initial appearance, deeply unpleasant too.
        Transcripts have to be accurate or they’re worthless.
        My transcript is accurate and fair. I am certainly not going to type out and then post up the whole twenty minutes of a particularly dull minister struggling, and failing, to deliver a coherent argument. That would be a grave disservice to my readers.
      • The Voice of Reason11.1.1.2
        It’s not a transcript, Morrissey, it’s mostly made up of good satire based on what the Minister (and Ryan) said. You’ve got some of it accurately recorded (various variables!), but mainly you’ve humorously, but inaccurately, précised what was said.

        Lanthanide is right to point that out, so I’m not sure why you needed to have a pop at him about it. I, too, had assumed your previous ‘transcripts’ were accurate. I guess I know better now, but it won’t stop me enjoying them as satire.

        The RNZ recording can be found here, courtesy of CV.
        • Morrissey11.1.1.2.1
          You’ve got some of it accurately recorded (various variables!), but mainly you’ve humorously, but inaccurately, précised what was said.
          I didn’t précis what she said, because I don’t think she said anything substantial or coherent. I aimed to show her lack of preparation and her embarrassing failure to get on top of what is a demanding portfolio.
          Lanthanide is right to point that out, so I’m not sure why you needed to have a pop at him about it.
          Lanthanide’s motivation is, I think, obvious. He is simply annoyed that I didn’t take Parata’s (and the Government’s) ludicrous scheme seriously. Remember that Lanthanide believes strongly that nuclear power is safe—and he heaped scorn on the reports from Japan asserting otherwise earlier this year. We can only surmise how rose-tinted his view of oil-drilling off New Zealand will be.
          I, too, had assumed your previous ‘transcripts’ were accurate. I guess I know better now, but it won’t stop me enjoying them as satire.
          My transcripts ARE accurate. I don’t usually record EVERYTHING—that would be utterly dire. I aim to catch the zeitgeist of an exchange, rather than transcribing everything. If I hear a more interesting and engaging conversation than this morning’s débâcle, I will record the whole thing. (Over the next few weeks I’ll post up on this site some of my greatest hits of the last decade.)
          The RNZ recording can be found here, courtesy of CV.
          Thank you very much for that. True fans can listen and read along with my transcript!
          • vto11.1.1.2.1.1
            ha ha, they are often amusing in their exposure of silliness and other troublesome human uselessness that is true. Keep it up.
          • The Voice of Reason11.1.1.2.1.2
            Fuck me, does nobody understand the concept of linguistic and journalistic accuracy any more? No point dissing the MSM, if we don’t keep up standards on the interwebs, eh?

            “My transcripts ARE accurate.”

            Bullshit. A transcript is, by it’s very nature, meant to be a faithful recording of what is said, even if it is not everything that is said. Editing out is fine, making shit up isn’t.

            The Parata piece you wrote is funny, but it’s not what she said. It’s also not what Ryan said. It is not a genuine transcript, it is a humorous and inventive summary of the gist of the conversation. At least you didn’t put quotation marks around it, so you get a bonus point for that.

            Lanthanide was right. And he does not strike me as a fan of Parata or any other Nat minister, for that matter, so I think you’re out of order. You don’t have to type twenty minutes of accurate quotations, just keep doing what you’re doing. Just don’t call it a transcript, because it ain’t.
            • Morrissey
              1.) A transcript is, by it’s very nature, meant to be a faithful recording of what is said, even if it is not everything that is said.
              As you yourself concede, I captured the gist of what she said. I did not invent anything. I just don’t do that. (Well, I have invented stuff, such as an imaginary 2003 news conference in Iraq featuring a preternaturally grovelling Paul Holmes—but it was clearly and obviously made up.)
              2.) Editing out is fine, making shit up isn’t.
              I made up nothing. I edited out a lot.
              3.) The Parata piece you wrote is funny, but it’s not what she said.
              In fact it is what she said. I made up none of it. If I had, it would not be funny. Any humour in it lies in the way I selected and presented it—after all, what Hekia Parata was actually trying to say is anything but funny. I selected and amplified the most damning parts of what she said. That’s no different to what the news media do every day—except they are more gracious than me, and almost always choose to edit out embarrassing examples of incoherence. In contrast to that, I presented things in order to ridicule her.
              4.) Lanthanide was right. And he does not strike me as a fan of Parata or any other Nat minister…
              You can’t be serious. Following the tsunami and nuclear meltdown in Japan earlier this year, Lanthanide went out of his way to express his confidence in the political authorities’ version of events, and he insisted that critics of the Japanese government were panic-mongering. He seems to have a bee in his bonnet about anyone questioning the safety and/or morality of big energy corporations—so he was no doubt incensed by my pointing up the intellectual vacuity of the National Government’s “plan” announced yesterday.
              5.) Just don’t call it a transcript, because it ain’t.
              It’s not a complete transcript, and I have never suggested it is. But it is accurate. This is only an issue because Lanthanide made it an issue. That was a deliberate choice by Lanthanide—attack my (admittedly partial) transcript rather than deal with the fact that what Parata was saying was poorly thought out, as well as incoherently expressed.
              • The Voice of Reason
                John Key is not PM of Japan, and there is no connection there at all. Your ‘transcript’ is not even remotely accurate. You made it up, with the exception of a few phrases. It is not a transcript, it is piece of humorous writing. The ‘gist’ of a conversation is not a transcript. If you don’t believe me, try a dictionary. Look up ‘transcript’, see what it says.

                The simple fact remains that if you play the interview it bears no relationship to what you wrote, except for a word or phrase here or there. You made the piece up, Morrissey and though it is funny, it is not the least bit accurate, in the sense of it being a transcript. If you were a court or newspaper reporter, you would be fired for incompetence. Ultimately, you insulted Lanthanide without cause and that’s what got me going in the first place.

                Anyway, keep ’em coming, because they are funny. Just not accurate.
                 
                • Morrissey
                  All right, Voice of Reason, I must concede that, strictly speaking, you are right.
                  And Lanthanide was insistent in his defence of the Japanese government’s mission of misinformation (AKA damage control).I forget what Key said during the crisis in Japan, but I remember Rob Fife of Air New Zealand going on television to assure New Zealanders that the experts were all exaggerating.To my knowledge, Fife is yet to apologise for that gruesome performance. I’m still waiting for Lanthanide to apologise for his behaviour as well.
                    • mik e11.2
                      Party political broad cast Kathryn Ryan let her of every Question it wasn’t an interview.
                      • Morrissey11.2.1
                        Kathryn Ryan let her of every Question it wasn’t an interview.
                        I think Kathryn Ryan realized almost immediately that Parata was out of her depth, and she decided it would be cruel and pointless to pursue her.
                        Greens energy spokesman Kennedy Graham neatly damned Hekia Parata and her cunning plan: he said it “contains deep illogicality.”


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