Sunday 21 January 2018

Chris Trotter reckons the Zimmerman jury got it right (Jul. 18, 2013)

Chris Trotter reckons the Zimmerman jury got it right
The Panel, Radio NZ National, Thursday 18 July 2013
Noelle McCarthy, Lisa Scott, Chris Trotter
ZOE FERGUSON: It’s Nelson Mandela’s birthday!
NOELLE McCARTHY: Yes it I-I-I-I-I-IS!
ZOE FERGUSON: And he shares his birthday with Hunter S. Thompson and Vin Diesel!
CHRIS TROTTER: [indulgently] Ho ho ho ho!
NOELLE McCARTHY: Well happy BIRTHDAY to Madiba!
…..[General murmurings of assent.]…..
NOELLE McCARTHY: And there’s a new movie out about Julian Assange?
ZOE FERGUSON: Yes, The Fifth Estate. It stars Benedict Cumberpatch!
NOELLE McCARTHY: And how’s his Australian accent?
ZOE FERGUSON: Actually, it’s not bad! Here, have a listen….
A short clip plays, of Benedict Cumberpatch as Assange saying: “Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. But if you give him a mask, he will tell you the truth.
…..[Short but significant silence in the studio.]
NOELLE McCARTHY: That wasn’t too bad, actually.
CHRIS TROTTER: Of course, a top rate actor like Benedict Cumberpatch was always going to be able to manage an Aussie accent.
LISA SCOTT: Mmmmm, mmmmm.
NOELLE McCARTHY: Yes indeed.
ZOE FERGUSON: Of course Assange says the movie is “propaganda and lies”. He he he!
LISA SCOTT: Ha ha ha ha ha!
NOELLE McCARTHY: Ha ha ha ha ha!
CHRIS TROTTER: Ho ho ho ho ho! He WOULD! Ho ho ho ho!
…..[Awkward silence]….
ZOE FERGUSON: [brightly] Do any of you follow the Pope on Twitter?
LISA SCOTT: No, no. I don’t.
NOELLE McCARTHY: Me neither. Chris, what about you?
CHRIS TROTTER: Oh no. Why WOULD you?
…..[Awkward silence]….
NOELLE McCARTHY: Now you have something about this Florida verdict, and Juror B-37?
…A long, rambling discussion ensues, with most of the participants clearly disgusted with the verdict. But not everyone….
CHRIS TROTTER: [very slowly, mustering all the pomp and gravitas he can] I think all this talk about the jury is most unfortunate. You have, even in this case I think, to trust the jury. In any trial, there are always items of evidence that we do not know about, even in this case I think.
….[Long, extremely uncomfortable pause]….
NOELLE McCARTHY: [doggedly positive] One thing the whole world is talking about, Zoe Ferguson, is the royal birth!
…..More clucking and cooing and laughing. The rest of the pre-show segment winds down with brief discussions of other trivialities: a new drug that will make the need to exercise unnecessary, a chuckle about the sinking of the Costa Concordia, and the death of Glee star Cory Monteith.
  • Macro6.1
    And THAT is why I have turned Radio NZ permanently OFF!
    I get all the news I need via Scoop.
  • Murray Olsen6.2
    For me, that just confirms Trotter as the coward who prefers form over substance that I have always considered him to be. If there’s something you don’t know about, you don’t know. You don’t automatically take the side of authority. Pffft.
    • Paul6.2.1
      Is he going to be NZ’s Hitchens?
    • felix6.2.2
      Murray, that shouldn’t confirm anything for you for the simple reason that none of it actually happened.
      It’s not a transcript. It’s Morrissey’s “impressions”.
      Go listen for yourself before you take his word for it as his impressions, while frequently funny and well crafted, are notoriously inaccurate. In this example barely a word of it was actually spoken and what was is stripped of context.
      • Morrissey6.2.2.1
        Murray, that shouldn’t confirm anything for you for the simple reason that none of it actually happened.
        Yes it did happen. I was scribbling furiously in freehand as Trotter uttered exactly those words. He sententiously, grandly, solemnly expressed support for that disgusting “verdict” by that disgusting Florida jury. I might have done Lisa Scott, that vacuous writer of inane novels, a disservice by writing that she pathetically assented to what Trotter said by humming “Mmmmm, mmmmm”; perhaps she actually showed her approval by vacuously laughing. I was concerned with capturing the essence of that pompous bullfrog Trotter, and didn’t record her murmurings verbatim. But I know that she expressed assent to what Trotter said, and anyone who suffered through that depraved conversation knows it too.
        It’s not a transcript. It’s Morrissey’s “impressions”.
        It’s a transcript as close as I can get, given that I scribble it down on paper or sometimes have to anxiously reconstruct it from memory. Occasionally I type into the computer as I listen. You know perfectly well, and so does anyone who reads them, that my transcripts are accurate. Not always word-perfect, but they are accurate.
        Go listen for yourself before you take his word for it as his impressions, while frequently funny and well crafted, are notoriously inaccurate.
        If you quibble over rats and mice, like the number of times Hekia Parata says “ummm, errrr”, or whether Lisa Scott murmurs vacuously or laughs vacuously to express her agreement with a pretentious toady, then, sure, you can claim that my transcripts are “inaccurate”. But anyone who listened to that godawful Panel pre-show on Thursday knows that I got it absolutely right.
        In this example barely a word of it was actually spoken and what was is stripped of context.
        The words spoken were exactly as I recorded them. The embellishments, or improvements, come in my snide and annoying little descriptors, which are of course designed to undermine and expose the reality of people like Chris Trotter. I always take care to put my writing in context.
        • felix6.2.2.1.1
          “The words spoken were exactly as I recorded them.”
          There is barely a word of the interview that matches your impression.
          • Morrissey6.2.2.1.1.1
            Sorry Mozz, this is simply not true as the recording shows:
            The recording matches up exactly to my transcript, certainly in the bit that matters, which is the windy lecture by Trotter admonishing his inferiors who dared to cast doubt on the integrity of the latest travesty of justice in the Deep South.
            There is barely a word of the interview that matches your impression.
            In the parts that matter, my transcript got it perfectly right. Or are you trying to say that Chris Trotter did NOT deliver a slow, pompous speech in defence of those halfwits in Florida? And are you trying to suggest that my evocation of the frivolous, cruel and irresponsible comments of Trotter, Lisa Scott, Noelle McCarthy and Zoe Ferguson is unfair to them in some way? Should I have rendered their continual laughter at the victims of state vengeance so as to make it seem like caring and concerned laughter rather than a callous expression of gleeful contempt for those officially designated targets?
            Your quibbles are correct in the narrow sense that I have not provided a verbatim transcript. Occasionally I do, but if I did that all the time, and did not embellish them with helpful little cues as to the tone of these godawful affairs, they would be as unreadable and useless as a Brett Dale post.
            • felix
              Morrissey, where am I quibbling?
              You said your writing matches exactly what was said. It doesn’t. Not even close.
              I’ve posted the recording so anyone can hear for themselves, but you really ought to have a listen yourself. Listen to the Trotter section you put so much weight on.
              He doesn’t say anything you quote him as saying. Not. A. Single. Sentence.
              Murray Olsen, above, has based an opinion about Trotter on something you made up!
              It’s not quibbling Mozz, it’s asking you to be honest ffs and mark your writing as what it really is – a clever parody.
              • Morrissey
                1.) Morrissey, where am I quibbling?
                I’m afraid you have gone far beyond mere quibbling, felix. You are not only contesting the precise wording of what I wrote, which is a valid exercise, but you are pouring scorn on the very substance of what I have recorded, as if some words out of order, or an extra bit of vacuous laughter somehow render the whole thing false.
                2.) You said your writing matches exactly what was said. It doesn’t. Not even close.
                See, this is where you come unstuck. My (admittedly hurried) transcription of that nasty and depraved few minutes on the radio was not word-perfect—yes, I need to learn proper shorthand ASAP, instead of relying on my own slapdash version—but it did capture the essence of what those foolish drones were saying. In particular, I was careful to write down what Trotter said; while it is not verbatim, I did get what he said. Anyone who listened to that horrible bit of radio heard him vapouring on exactly in the pompous and self-important manner I evoked. I concede that the words I reported might not have been absolutely identical to those croaked by Trotter, but for you to claim they were “not even close” is utterly wrong.
                3.) I’ve posted the recording so anyone can hear for themselves, but you really ought to have a listen yourself. Listen to the Trotter section you put so much weight on.
                The person putting weight on that wandery and vacuous speech was Trotter himself. The air of gravity and solemnity with which he spoke those words was something to behold; the depravity of them evidently escaped some people.
                4.) He doesn’t say anything you quote him as saying. Not. A. Single. Sentence.
                You have overstated your case, my friend. Now you are veering into blatant dishonesty. Trotter spoke in the tone I evoked, and in pretty much those words. Although my version of his spurious speech is undoubtedly more elegant and well-considered, so I’ve done him a favour.
                5.) Murray Olsen, above, has based an opinion about Trotter on something you made up!
                Once again, I made up nothing. The only faults you can legitimately point out in my version of that horrible Panel pre-show are some ellipses. Murray Olsen is a regular listener to the Panel; he knows, just as you do too, that my transcripts are fair and accurate versions of those programmes. I do not make things up; I do exaggerate in order to highlight the absurdity (or in this case the depravity) to which I and other listeners are regularly subjected.
                6.) It’s not quibbling Mozz, it’s asking you to be honest ffs and mark your writing as what it really is – a clever parody.
                It’s honest, and it’s accurate. It is not a parody, because I am not making stuff up. In my blackest, most luridly imaginative moments, I could not dream up characters as cruel and casually depraved as Noelle McCarthy, Chris Trotter, Jim Mora and the rest of them guffawing and sneering at the targets of massive state vengeance.
              • Murray Olsen
                My opinion of Trotter was formed long before I even knew of The Standard. It wasn’t formed by listening to The Panel either. As far as I can remember, I never have.
            • Rosetinted
              Morrissey
              You do provide a very good version of discussions but it isn’t verbatim, and you don’t advance the discussion by saying so. People enjoy your version, it is satire, but cannot be taken as factual. So why pretend that it’s important to you that it is said to be factual. Your whole point is to take the mickey and give an idea, yours, of what has gone on. Don’t get your wires crossed as to what you are doing. Satire is not actual it’s a clever mirror which shows us a near view of facts to give a different understanding. We all need to know the difference. Including yourself.
          • sockpuppet6.2.2.1.1.2
            Oh Felix you are mistaken, Morrissey Breen is the greatest critic of the radio waves this country has ever seen. His witty piece perfectly captures the mood and intent of the characters perfectly.
            Methinks you are just jealous of his command of language which is only comes close to being matched by those other erudite gentleman Prof Longhair and North.
            We can’t wait to have him back at Daisy Cutter sports to join the rest of the team as Jackanapes, Joe Orton and Empedocoles are missing him terribly.
            • Morrissey
              Oh Felix you are mistaken, Morrissey Breen is the greatest critic of the radio waves this country has ever seen.
              Gosh! Such praise makes a fella come over all blushing and embarrassed….
              http://fc08.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2011/142/1/e/modest_blush_by_inkcompass-d3gzgx7.jpg
              His witty piece perfectly captures the mood and intent of the characters perfectly.
              Indeed.
              Methinks you are just jealous of his command of language which is only comes close to being matched by those other erudite gentleman Prof Longhair and North.
              This writer, i.e., moi, is honoured just to be mentioned in the same breath as either of those distinguished Standardistas.
              We can’t wait to have him back at Daisy Cutter sports to join the rest of the team as Jackanapes, Joe Orton and Empedocoles are missing him terribly.
              I’m afraid the ban still holds. It’s going on for eight years now; how long can Napes hold a grudge, I wonder?
            • felix
              There’s nothing personal in my criticism, sockpuppet – I quite like Mozza and frequently enjoy his commentary.
              But they’re not transcripts, they’re not in any way accurate, and it brings the whole site into disrepute to have such blatantly fictional material published as if it were fact.
              • Colonial Viper
                +1
              • Te Reo Putake
                Plus 1, too. Perhaps we should style Mozza’s manglings as ‘transcrapts’?
                • Morrissey
                  Perhaps we should style Mozza’s manglings as ‘transcrapts’?
                  “Transcrapts”! Oh I see what you’ve done there! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Good one Te Reo!
                  No, not really. You know perfectly well that my transcripts are accurate. I catch the tone, the zeitgeist of these horrible and irresponsible discussions, which are funded, I must remind you, by the likes of you and me.
                  I suspect your stance against me is motivated less by a concern with 100 per cent accuracy than by irritation that I show up the shallowness and depravity of people who say things that you are on record as agreeing with.
                  • Te Reo Putake
                    You suspect wrong. I don’t like cheats. I don’t like people who make up shit and claim it’s accurate. I don’t like words being put into other people’s mouths. I don’t like the misuse of the english language, in your case attempting to devalue the concept of ‘transcript’.
                    The thing is you do not accurately record what is said, you admit that yourself. Yet you continually claim that your made up words are an accurate transcript. You actually let people like Trotter off the hook by making up quotes, when the real words he used should be damning him. I think your problem is that you’re not fast enough to type what they really say and you’re not quick enough to write satire.
                    ps, some real satire for you: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UrgpZ0fUixs
                  • Morrissey
                    1.)You suspect wrong. I don’t like cheats. I don’t like people who make up shit and claim it’s accurate.
                    I made up none of it. The words were Trotter’s. You know that as well as I do. You are trying to make an issue out of the fact that I did not use a tape recorder, but hurriedly transcribed his pretentious balderdash as he uttered it. I suspect you DO sympathize with the line that Trotter and everyone else on that substandard program has taken, which is to laugh at and demean and scorn Edward Snowden. Your comments about another dissenter, Julian Assange, are a matter of record.
                    2.) I don’t like words being put into other people’s mouths. I don’t like the misuse of the english language, in your case attempting to devalue the concept of ‘transcript’.
                    I have long ago conceded that my transcripts are not always verbatim. But as anyone who has read them over the years knows perfectly well, they are always accurate; I go out of my way to capture the essence of what these people are saying. Your objection is utterly spurious. I am quite happy for you or anyone to put up a word by word transcript and compare it with my Reader’s Digest version. My transcripts are fair and accurate; no the words are not ALWAYS perfectly in correspondence with what the likes of Larry Lackwit Williams or Christine Spankin’ Rankin or Chris Trotter say; why don’t you put up a perfect transcript so people can compare? You won’t of course; you know I am correct and your “objections” are largely frivolous.
                    3.) The thing is you do not accurately record what is said, you admit that yourself.
                    I admit that I do not always get it down word-perfect. My transcripts—or loose transcripts, if you like—are not perfect, but they are certainly accurate as to the tone and the general sense of what these people have said. You know that, too, just like the many people who comment positively after my posts to affirm their accuracy.
                    4.) Yet you continually claim that your made up words are an accurate transcript.
                    You keep on repeating your deliberate falsehood, that the words I write are “made up.” You are being mischievous, and I don’t think it’s funny, and I am not prepared to indulge your deliberate strategy of lying to try to discredit me.
                    5.) You actually let people like Trotter off the hook by making up quotes, when the real words he used should be damning him.
                    The people who let that vacuous bullfrog off the hook are people like you and felix, who went to the bizarre length of claiming that Trotter “said nothing” like what I recorded. Now, why felix wrote that bizarrely untrue statement is still unclear; what IS clear is that what he claimed is completely wrong.
                    6.) I think your problem is that you’re not fast enough to type what they really say and you’re not quick enough to write satire.
                    Yes, I need to upgrade my transcription ability. What do you mean, exactly, by “not quick enough to write satire”?
                    7.) ps, some real satire for you:
                    Way ahead of you, buddy. I improved that song almost exactly ten years ago….
                    https://groups.google.com/forum/#!searchin/nz.general/redbaiter$20$2B$20asshole/nz.general/88Kfwt_kQI8/7PonBLbiq-UJ
    • Morrissey6.2.3
      If there’s something you don’t know about, you don’t know. You don’t automatically take the side of authority.
      Chris Trotter does. I think he still has his heart set on a political career.

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