games on that station before, you just knew you were going to be
subjected to some inane, unfunny comments from some or all of that
crack commentary team - I.A. ("Kirky") Kirkpatrick, Bernie (Richie
Rich) McCahill, ("Bull") Allen and Hamish (Rockjaw) McKay.
It must be admitted, though, that tonight the four of them (plus Alan
Whetton) did a pretty good job. There was not too much kidding of one
another; they were content to comment sensibly and seriously, and let
the drama of the football provide all the entertainment.
Whetton) did a pretty good job. There was not too much kidding of one
another; they were content to comment sensibly and seriously, and let
the drama of the football provide all the entertainment.
The most dismal effort tonight was probably McKay's attempt at humour
as Doug Howlett scored just after halftime. McKay screamed: "He
scores - DOUGIE STYLE!"
as Doug Howlett scored just after halftime. McKay screamed: "He
scores - DOUGIE STYLE!"
But there was one comment that caused this writer - moi - to nearly
choke on his potato chips, and spit out his beer in astonishment. It
came from that shaven-headed sage, Bull Allen. At about the 35
minute mark of the first half, touch judge Tappe Henning was
irritating the fearsome foursome by repeatedly stopping play to tell
tales on players for minor indiscretions that Henning imagined he'd
spotted. In contrast to the officious-looking Henning, referee Andre
Watson seemed calm, quiet, composed.
choke on his potato chips, and spit out his beer in astonishment. It
came from that shaven-headed sage, Bull Allen. At about the 35
minute mark of the first half, touch judge Tappe Henning was
irritating the fearsome foursome by repeatedly stopping play to tell
tales on players for minor indiscretions that Henning imagined he'd
spotted. In contrast to the officious-looking Henning, referee Andre
Watson seemed calm, quiet, composed.
Bull Allen suddenly started to gush: "I really enjoy watching Andre
Watson. He never panics. He never does anything silly.He's always
calm and collected."
Watson. He never panics. He never does anything silly.He's always
calm and collected."
What??!!?!?!?!?!?!??????!!!!!!
ANDRE WATSON is "always calm and collected"? And he "never panics"?
Perhaps Allen was drunk as a fish during the 1999 World Cup final.
Because he would never have praised Andre Watson like that if he'd
actually watched that match, where not once but TWICE in the first
half, a clearly jumpy and rattled Watson blew his whistle to deny
France certain tries. The first time was at the 8:35 mark -
Australia's Jason Little, under immense pressure, threw a forward
pass, which was snapped up by French winger Bernat-Salles, who bolted
across the line to score. As Bernat-Salles was crossing the line to
score, referee Watson blew his whistle - to put down a scrum for the
forward pass from Little! Poor Bernat-Salles looked like he'd been
mugged.
Because he would never have praised Andre Watson like that if he'd
actually watched that match, where not once but TWICE in the first
half, a clearly jumpy and rattled Watson blew his whistle to deny
France certain tries. The first time was at the 8:35 mark -
Australia's Jason Little, under immense pressure, threw a forward
pass, which was snapped up by French winger Bernat-Salles, who bolted
across the line to score. As Bernat-Salles was crossing the line to
score, referee Watson blew his whistle - to put down a scrum for the
forward pass from Little! Poor Bernat-Salles looked like he'd been
mugged.
Then with ten minutes left in the first half, Watson struck again.
And again it was at the expense of the French team. This time the
French forwards had decimated the Wallaby pack in a driving maul which
drove Australia back right to its own goalline, in front of its posts.
As the ball was delivered back perfectly to the halfback, the whistle
blew repeatedly! Watson sprinted in, screaming, "USE IT OR LOSE
IT!!!!! USE IT OR LOSE IT!!!!!" Instead of scoring under the posts,
the stunned French players found themselves robbed again.
And again it was at the expense of the French team. This time the
French forwards had decimated the Wallaby pack in a driving maul which
drove Australia back right to its own goalline, in front of its posts.
As the ball was delivered back perfectly to the halfback, the whistle
blew repeatedly! Watson sprinted in, screaming, "USE IT OR LOSE
IT!!!!! USE IT OR LOSE IT!!!!!" Instead of scoring under the posts,
the stunned French players found themselves robbed again.
The TVNZ commentary team - Keith Quinn, John McBeth and Wayne Graham -
was clearly disturbed by Watson's capricious, unjust behaviour. "How
DO you explain it?" said McBeth after the "Use it or lose it" fiasco.
But Bull Allen reckons Watson "never panics" and admires how he's
"always calm and collected."
was clearly disturbed by Watson's capricious, unjust behaviour. "How
DO you explain it?" said McBeth after the "Use it or lose it" fiasco.
But Bull Allen reckons Watson "never panics" and admires how he's
"always calm and collected."
Anybody able to tell us - during the last World Cup final, was Bull
Allen pissed as Murray Deaker on a mid-1970s bender?
Allen pissed as Murray Deaker on a mid-1970s bender?
No comments:
Post a Comment