“Ha ha ha, ho ho ho, he he he! Get him a sun lamp!!!”
An unusually inane and depraved edition of The Panel
Radio NZ National, Friday 14 June 2013
Jim Mora, Lisa Scott, Chris Trotter
An unusually inane and depraved edition of The Panel
Radio NZ National, Friday 14 June 2013
Jim Mora, Lisa Scott, Chris Trotter
JIM MORA: It’s Susan Baldacci, with What the Wooooorld’s Talking About! What have you got for us today?
SUSAN BALDACCI: First up, Jim, is this Perth radio host who has been suspended for saying Julia Gillard’s husband is gay, because he is a hairdresser.
JIM MORA: This is bizarre, isn’t it!
LISA SCOTT: They’re attacking her because she’s a woman!
CHRIS TROTTER: The same thing went on with Helen Clark. There were some TERRIBLE things said about her husband too.
MORA: Yeah but they were more subterranean, weren’t they? In Australia this kind of thing is much more out in the open.
CHRIS TROTTER: Well, Ian Wishart’s Investigate magazine has a much larger readership than one might think.
MORA: But surely no mainstream, reputable media outlets in this country would TOLERATE that sort of thing would they?
SUSAN BALDACCI: First up, Jim, is this Perth radio host who has been suspended for saying Julia Gillard’s husband is gay, because he is a hairdresser.
JIM MORA: This is bizarre, isn’t it!
LISA SCOTT: They’re attacking her because she’s a woman!
CHRIS TROTTER: The same thing went on with Helen Clark. There were some TERRIBLE things said about her husband too.
MORA: Yeah but they were more subterranean, weren’t they? In Australia this kind of thing is much more out in the open.
CHRIS TROTTER: Well, Ian Wishart’s Investigate magazine has a much larger readership than one might think.
MORA: But surely no mainstream, reputable media outlets in this country would TOLERATE that sort of thing would they?
REALITY CHECK….
Mora is either dishonest or has a memory like John Banks, i.e., he is dishonest. A few years ago on The Panel, one DOCTOR MICHAEL BASSETT worked himself up into a state of preternatural malice and snarled, absurdly, that Nicky Hager was a Holocaust-denier. I can think of nothing more despicable or extreme than uttering such a brutal and offensive falsehood on public radio—but Jim Mora did not say a word. Far from not tolerating “that sort of thing”, Mora’s guests on the Panel have included, as well as Bassett, such extreme and irrational figures as Nevil Breivik Gibson, Christine Spankin’ Rankin, and Garth Gaga George—to name just three off the top of my head. He has also respectfully interviewed such outré figures as the Sensible Sentencing Trust’s Garth “The Knife” McVicar. So much for his contention that no mainstream media outlets in this country would tolerate “that sort of thing.”
Mora is either dishonest or has a memory like John Banks, i.e., he is dishonest. A few years ago on The Panel, one DOCTOR MICHAEL BASSETT worked himself up into a state of preternatural malice and snarled, absurdly, that Nicky Hager was a Holocaust-denier. I can think of nothing more despicable or extreme than uttering such a brutal and offensive falsehood on public radio—but Jim Mora did not say a word. Far from not tolerating “that sort of thing”, Mora’s guests on the Panel have included, as well as Bassett, such extreme and irrational figures as Nevil Breivik Gibson, Christine Spankin’ Rankin, and Garth Gaga George—to name just three off the top of my head. He has also respectfully interviewed such outré figures as the Sensible Sentencing Trust’s Garth “The Knife” McVicar. So much for his contention that no mainstream media outlets in this country would tolerate “that sort of thing.”
MORA: What else have you got for us?
SUSAN BALDACCI: Well, this latest study shows that we’re all a little bit paranoid. There are three kinds of paranoia, apparently—
MORA: Three kinds of paranoia?
SUSAN BALDACCI: [annoyed] Y-y-y-y-yes.
SUSAN BALDACCI: Well, this latest study shows that we’re all a little bit paranoid. There are three kinds of paranoia, apparently—
MORA: Three kinds of paranoia?
SUSAN BALDACCI: [annoyed] Y-y-y-y-yes.
She gives a brief survey of an article about paranoia she has just downloaded from the internet, and then the program takes a sinister turn….
SUSAN BALDACCI: Julian Assange is a little bit paranoid.
MORA: Oh yes? Hur, hur, hur, hur!
SUSAN BALDACCI: Yeah, he claims that being holed up in the Ecuadorian embassy, he is deprived of his human right of getting enough sun.
MORA: Is it a human right to get enough sun?
SUSAN BALDACCI: That’s what he claims! He claims that being not allowed to leave London is violating his “human rights”.
MORA: Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
LISA SCOTT: Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
CHRIS TROTTER: Haw haw haw haw haw!
SUSAN BALDACCI: He thinks he should be allowed out of his Ecuador embassy hideout to sunbathe.
MORA: He can get out on the balcony, where he gave that speech!
LISA SCOTT: Yeah! Ha ha ha ha ha!
CHRIS TROTTER: Yeah! Ha ha ha ha ha! Or get him a sun lamp! THAT’s what he needs!
LISA SCOTT: Ha ha ha ha ha!
SUSAN BALDACCI: He he he he he!
TROTTER: I suspect the ambassador’s just sick of the sight of him! “Are you ever going to LEEEEAAAVE?”
MORA: Sun lamp! Get him a sun lamp!!!
LISA SCOTT: Ha ha ha ha ha!
MORA: Back after the news!
MORA: Oh yes? Hur, hur, hur, hur!
SUSAN BALDACCI: Yeah, he claims that being holed up in the Ecuadorian embassy, he is deprived of his human right of getting enough sun.
MORA: Is it a human right to get enough sun?
SUSAN BALDACCI: That’s what he claims! He claims that being not allowed to leave London is violating his “human rights”.
MORA: Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
LISA SCOTT: Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
CHRIS TROTTER: Haw haw haw haw haw!
SUSAN BALDACCI: He thinks he should be allowed out of his Ecuador embassy hideout to sunbathe.
MORA: He can get out on the balcony, where he gave that speech!
LISA SCOTT: Yeah! Ha ha ha ha ha!
CHRIS TROTTER: Yeah! Ha ha ha ha ha! Or get him a sun lamp! THAT’s what he needs!
LISA SCOTT: Ha ha ha ha ha!
SUSAN BALDACCI: He he he he he!
TROTTER: I suspect the ambassador’s just sick of the sight of him! “Are you ever going to LEEEEAAAVE?”
MORA: Sun lamp! Get him a sun lamp!!!
LISA SCOTT: Ha ha ha ha ha!
MORA: Back after the news!
……4 p.m. News……
WAYNE MOWAT: The time is nine minutes past four and due to circumstances beyond our control, we have some more music.
Plays George Harrison’s “Apple Scruffs”, then something by Fat Freddy’s Drop. Wayne Mowat tells us there’s been a fire alarm so everyone has had to leave the building for a short time.
They’re back in the studio at 4:15. Somebody—presumably not Mora himself—decides to ditch the discussion about fluoridation and the loons who have stampeded the Hamilton City Council into abandoning it. But they still go ahead with the entirely pointless, extended introductions of the guests. Trotter vapors on about Bloom’s Day, which is coming up in Auckland. “There’s a lot of laughing,” he promises, “and some weeping.”
Then it’s on to the big, in-depth discussions, “the news of the day in a different way”….
Topic No. 1:
Labour’s hypocritical MPs accepting “hospitality” from Sky City….
LISA SCOTT: giggles winsomely It just shows that politicians are people too.
CHRIS TROTTER: When I heard David Shearer say he didn’t know they were there, I almost threw my cellphone at the wall. To say that you didn’t know just shows you have no control over your caucus.
LISA SCOTT: Yeah, yeah, it’s not a good look. It’s a bad look, all right. I agree with you.
Labour’s hypocritical MPs accepting “hospitality” from Sky City….
LISA SCOTT: giggles winsomely It just shows that politicians are people too.
CHRIS TROTTER: When I heard David Shearer say he didn’t know they were there, I almost threw my cellphone at the wall. To say that you didn’t know just shows you have no control over your caucus.
LISA SCOTT: Yeah, yeah, it’s not a good look. It’s a bad look, all right. I agree with you.
Topic No. 2:
Dunedin mayor Dave Cull’s email exchange about the Dalai Lama is to be released to the public….
CHRIS TROTTER: With our increasing closeness to and reliance on China, there will be increasing pressure on university chancellors, mayors and all public officials to not have ANYTHING to do with the Dalai Lama.
LISA SCOTT: Isn’t that sad!
CHRIS TROTTER: It is, really. He’s a lovely chap!
LISA SCOTT: Ha ha ha ha ha!
Dunedin mayor Dave Cull’s email exchange about the Dalai Lama is to be released to the public….
CHRIS TROTTER: With our increasing closeness to and reliance on China, there will be increasing pressure on university chancellors, mayors and all public officials to not have ANYTHING to do with the Dalai Lama.
LISA SCOTT: Isn’t that sad!
CHRIS TROTTER: It is, really. He’s a lovely chap!
LISA SCOTT: Ha ha ha ha ha!
….[4:30 News]….
Soapbox….
MORA: What have you been thinking about, Lisa Scott?
LISA SCOTT: I’ve been thinking about something called UBF. Do you know what it is—Unintentional Bitch Face.
CHRIS TROTTER: Ho ho ho ho ho ho ho!
LISA SCOTT: It’s when you look grumpy without meaning to. Posh Spice has UBF.
MORA: Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! She does too! Ha ha ha ha ha!
Sellotape behind the ears! This is cheap cosmetic surgery!
LISA SCOTT: I’ve got UGF—Unintentionally Gormless Face.
MORA: Posh DOES have a look doesn’t she! Okay, Chris Trotter, what’s been on your mind?
LISA SCOTT: I’ve been thinking about something called UBF. Do you know what it is—Unintentional Bitch Face.
CHRIS TROTTER: Ho ho ho ho ho ho ho!
LISA SCOTT: It’s when you look grumpy without meaning to. Posh Spice has UBF.
MORA: Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! She does too! Ha ha ha ha ha!
Sellotape behind the ears! This is cheap cosmetic surgery!
LISA SCOTT: I’ve got UGF—Unintentionally Gormless Face.
MORA: Posh DOES have a look doesn’t she! Okay, Chris Trotter, what’s been on your mind?
CHRIS TROTTER: Oh, mine seems terribly worthy now, compared to that GREAT topic. But an interesting factoid I have just learned is that New Zealand now has more than one thousand people employed in security. Why do we need so many spooks?
MORA: Do you remember when it was just the SIS? In those days you got the impression it was only fifty to a hundred people.
CHRIS TROTTER: Yes, those were the trenchcoat days, trailing Dr. Bill Sutch. Now it’s all NCIS and
MORA: We chortle, but if Big Data like Prism is going to conform and constrain and dominate our lives, then we NEED that expertise!
MORA: Do you remember when it was just the SIS? In those days you got the impression it was only fifty to a hundred people.
CHRIS TROTTER: Yes, those were the trenchcoat days, trailing Dr. Bill Sutch. Now it’s all NCIS and
MORA: We chortle, but if Big Data like Prism is going to conform and constrain and dominate our lives, then we NEED that expertise!
The program ends with Trotter taking up his guitar and singing a melancholy tribute to the legendary Dunedin student pub, the Captain Cook, which is closing after 150 years.
Unfortunately, this publicly funded yock-fest will continue on Monday…..
