music columns for the Auckland Star. He later became a radio "personality" and started to appear regularly on television. Then he moved to Christchurch, where he formed a rather tiresome double act
with Simon Barnett on the radio, and huge posters featuring Gifford's enormous dimpled bare assss polluted that city's visual environment for years.
Once, Gifford used to pose as the staunchest of all Auckland
supporters; in Christchurch he became the most bigoted, one-eyed
Canterbury fan in creation. His columns for the Sunday Star Times
were replete with dismal put-downs of Auckland footballers like Carlos
Spencer and Zinzan Brooke as "latte drinkers", "pretty boys" and
"show-ponies". Certainly, nobody objects to a little of this sort of
thing, but Gifford took it to a new level. His attacks on Auckland
became increasingly irrational and ridiculous. Many of us came to
despise him when he appeared on TV muttering his pious cant about
Canterbury "grassroots values" as opposed to Auckland "money".
supporters; in Christchurch he became the most bigoted, one-eyed
Canterbury fan in creation. His columns for the Sunday Star Times
were replete with dismal put-downs of Auckland footballers like Carlos
Spencer and Zinzan Brooke as "latte drinkers", "pretty boys" and
"show-ponies". Certainly, nobody objects to a little of this sort of
thing, but Gifford took it to a new level. His attacks on Auckland
became increasingly irrational and ridiculous. Many of us came to
despise him when he appeared on TV muttering his pious cant about
Canterbury "grassroots values" as opposed to Auckland "money".
For all that, Phil Gifford can still write an interesting and lively
column. One of his best came in 1999, when he criticised "the feral
broadcasters on Radio Sport". In a long and accurate piece, he
slammed the hosts on that joke of a station for knowing virtually
nothing about football, and for stirring up morons like the mob that
would later attack John Hart's horse at Addington Raceway. Of course,
Gifford's words went down at Radio Sport like a freshly vomited
ratburger. The reaction was swift and scornful: Martin Devlin,
undoubtedly the target of Gifford's critique, was incandescent with
anger, and from the sanctuary of his studio, spluttered incoherent
calumny against the Phat Man. Devlin never forgot, and Gifford, along
with Joseph Romanos and Lindsay Knight, became the butt of Devlin's
"humour" whenever he could manage it. The loathing between Devlin and
Gifford is deep and probably irreconcilable.
column. One of his best came in 1999, when he criticised "the feral
broadcasters on Radio Sport". In a long and accurate piece, he
slammed the hosts on that joke of a station for knowing virtually
nothing about football, and for stirring up morons like the mob that
would later attack John Hart's horse at Addington Raceway. Of course,
Gifford's words went down at Radio Sport like a freshly vomited
ratburger. The reaction was swift and scornful: Martin Devlin,
undoubtedly the target of Gifford's critique, was incandescent with
anger, and from the sanctuary of his studio, spluttered incoherent
calumny against the Phat Man. Devlin never forgot, and Gifford, along
with Joseph Romanos and Lindsay Knight, became the butt of Devlin's
"humour" whenever he could manage it. The loathing between Devlin and
Gifford is deep and probably irreconcilable.
And now he's back in Auckland. On Radio Sport in the afternoons. And
spouting crap about the English having no depth. He is the one who
came up with this solemn assurance that "they won't improve but we
will" after England won the Wellington test.
spouting crap about the English having no depth. He is the one who
came up with this solemn assurance that "they won't improve but we
will" after England won the Wellington test.
Meanwhile, longtime Radio Sport Breakfast show host Martin Devlin has
recently taken it upon himself to criticise the arrogant and
presumptuous attitudes of New Zealand rugby journalists, in
particular their stubborn refusal to give due credit to the English
team. Some might say that Devlin has the most incredible gall, since
he was perhaps the shrillest, the most ignorant, vicious and arrogant
of all the ignorant, shrill, vicious, arrogant halfwits who formed a
media lynch-mob after the All Blacks lost to France at the last World Cup.
recently taken it upon himself to criticise the arrogant and
presumptuous attitudes of New Zealand rugby journalists, in
particular their stubborn refusal to give due credit to the English
team. Some might say that Devlin has the most incredible gall, since
he was perhaps the shrillest, the most ignorant, vicious and arrogant
of all the ignorant, shrill, vicious, arrogant halfwits who formed a
media lynch-mob after the All Blacks lost to France at the last World Cup.
Lately, however, Devlin seems to have taken a far more intelligent
view of the game. Or is something other than a concern for
professionalism and fair play motivating him? After all, he has shown
precious little of either in the past.
view of the game. Or is something other than a concern for
professionalism and fair play motivating him? After all, he has shown
precious little of either in the past.
Analyse Devlin's recent enlightened utterances and it's clear why he
has taken this stance: to have a go at Phil Gifford.
has taken this stance: to have a go at Phil Gifford.
Monday morning, after England had soundly beaten Australia in
Melbourne, the new, thoughtful Devlin was full of praise for the
English, and also full of condemnation for their ignorant detractors
in the New Zealand sporting media. He and his producer Matt Gunn
shared the following discussion....
Melbourne, the new, thoughtful Devlin was full of praise for the
English, and also full of condemnation for their ignorant detractors
in the New Zealand sporting media. He and his producer Matt Gunn
shared the following discussion....
DEVLIN: Why do some New Zealand critics say the English won't
improve? How do they KNOW?
improve? How do they KNOW?
MATT GUNN: Yeah.... how d they know?
DEVLIN: Ye-e-e-e-e-e-essss.... I'm talking about those venerable
gents Mr Bob HOWITT and Mr Phil GIFFORD, who were so ADAMANT after the
Poms won the game in Wellington. I wonder what they have got to say
NOW after England THRASHED Australia on Saturday night....
gents Mr Bob HOWITT and Mr Phil GIFFORD, who were so ADAMANT after the
Poms won the game in Wellington. I wonder what they have got to say
NOW after England THRASHED Australia on Saturday night....
MATT GUNN: Awww.... well, what CAN they say?
Later in the day, we hear from one of the broadcasters who WAS dopey
enough to believe the Phat Man and the Codger. On Newstalk ZB,
afternoon drivetime host Larry Williams chats with the grossly
overweight, pompous ass that is the sports correspondent Andrew
("Slobber") Saveloy.
enough to believe the Phat Man and the Codger. On Newstalk ZB,
afternoon drivetime host Larry Williams chats with the grossly
overweight, pompous ass that is the sports correspondent Andrew
("Slobber") Saveloy.
WILLIAMS: I thought the English team was just magnificent in Melbourne.
SAVELOY: Errrrrrrrrmmmmm... well they were, weren't they! Errrrrrrmmmmmm.... I must confess that..... errrrrrrrrmmmmm.... I didn't think the English could improve after last Saturday, .....
errrrrrrrrmmmmmm.... but I was wrong!
errrrrrrrrmmmmmm.... but I was wrong!
Phil (Phat Man) Gifford must feel very proud that he is being quoted
verbatim by such high-powered, respected commentators as Andrew
Saveloy. But the on-going irritant of Martin Devlin's sniping
comments will be exercising the Phat Man's imagination, you can be
sure of that. It will be interesting to see just how nasty this
little cold war becomes....
verbatim by such high-powered, respected commentators as Andrew
Saveloy. But the on-going irritant of Martin Devlin's sniping
comments will be exercising the Phat Man's imagination, you can be
sure of that. It will be interesting to see just how nasty this
little cold war becomes....
https://groups.google.com/forum/#!msg/rec.sport.rugby.union/g_XCdwicThw/o2JyMgjexHcJ;context-place=forum/nz.general
Phelan <free...@kaimataREMOVE.co.nz
Breen, I suppose it's nice to have a hobby.
strange conversations with himself that he feels the need to share
with us all !
this ng at the hospital?
servant, I must have missed something because it made no sense to me !
state collapses, deprived of the best of its slaves, when it falls to
a level of impotent chaos, and dissolves into starving robber gangs
fighting to rob one another - when the advocates of morality of
sacrifice perish with their final ideal - then and on that day we will
return."
Scene: The King's Arms tavern, Newton. At the bar are four Usenet
posters, all of whom are either suspicious of one another or openly
antagonistic. Three of the posters - GRANT MAGRATH, PHELAN and
MORRISSEY BREEN (c'est moi) are chatting animatedly, if not very
cordially, while the fourth, KIP, stares gloomily at a rubber plant,
nursing a handle of D.B. beer....
posters, all of whom are either suspicious of one another or openly
antagonistic. Three of the posters - GRANT MAGRATH, PHELAN and
MORRISSEY BREEN (c'est moi) are chatting animatedly, if not very
cordially, while the fourth, KIP, stares gloomily at a rubber plant,
nursing a handle of D.B. beer....
Magrath, Phelan and Breen have been discussing a recent thread,
initiated by Breen, about the mutual hatred of two Radio Sport hosts.
Breen has thoughtfully supplied each of them with a print-out of the
thread.
GRANT MAGRATH: [tossing transcript into rubbish bin] Oh well Mr
initiated by Breen, about the mutual hatred of two Radio Sport hosts.
Breen has thoughtfully supplied each of them with a print-out of the
thread.
GRANT MAGRATH: [tossing transcript into rubbish bin] Oh well Mr
Breen, I suppose it's nice to have a hobby.
PHELAN: snigger - he has this weird habit of having these very
strange conversations with himself that he feels the need to share
with us all !
BREEN: Errrr, look carefully, Phelan. Those conversations are with
other people. I don't converse with myself. There lies madness,
methinks.
other people. I don't converse with myself. There lies madness,
methinks.
KIP: [sneering] "Methinks". You mincing, pretentious faggot.
[turns back to stare glumly at rubber plant] Fuck I hate Auckland!
[turns back to stare glumly at rubber plant] Fuck I hate Auckland!
MAGRATH: What's bitin' that guy?
BREEN: Oh, he's just missing Christchurch.
MAGRATH: The sad git.
PHELAN: Did anyone see that one about meeting another poster from
this ng at the hospital?
BREEN: Kip did! Didn't you Kip?
[Kip ignores Breen's taunt, continues to stare disconsolately at
rubber plant.]
rubber plant.]
PHELAN: What was with that ? And then went on about him being his
servant, I must have missed something because it made no sense to me !
BREEN: [patiently] Awright, Phelan... just for you. That was our
friend E. Scrooge, a regular on this ng. We had a bit of a showdown
at Starship Children's Hospital, where he had chained himself to the
counter of the McDonald's outlet there. I was going to put him out of
his misery once and for all, but at the lastmoment we struck a deal,
and in return for me sparing his life, he agreed to act as my batman,
my personal assistant, servant, butler, confidante, gentleman
companion, call him what you will -
friend E. Scrooge, a regular on this ng. We had a bit of a showdown
at Starship Children's Hospital, where he had chained himself to the
counter of the McDonald's outlet there. I was going to put him out of
his misery once and for all, but at the lastmoment we struck a deal,
and in return for me sparing his life, he agreed to act as my batman,
my personal assistant, servant, butler, confidante, gentleman
companion, call him what you will -
KIP: [contemptuously] You faggot! You are the gayest of the gay!
BREEN: [ignoring the troubled Kip] and he has proved to be a most
affable and helpful fellow. he features prominently in the upcoming
segments of the suppressed episode of Colonial House, which I will
post up soon.
affable and helpful fellow. he features prominently in the upcoming
segments of the suppressed episode of Colonial House, which I will
post up soon.
PHELAN: [sarcastically] Well, we're all REALLY looking forward to
that, Morrissey.
that, Morrissey.
MAGRATH: [condescendingly] Oh well, I suppose it's good that you've
got a hobby, Mr Breen.
got a hobby, Mr Breen.
KIP: [morosely] You think anyone ever reads the crap you feel the
need to infect this ng with?
need to infect this ng with?
PHELAN: [suddenly bursting into recitation mode] "When the looters'
state collapses, deprived of the best of its slaves, when it falls to
a level of impotent chaos, and dissolves into starving robber gangs
fighting to rob one another - when the advocates of morality of
sacrifice perish with their final ideal - then and on that day we will
return."
BREEN: [clapping lustily] Oh, bravo! Bravo, Phelan, bravo! You
have an orotund voice and your intonation is spot on. Who wrote that
piece? Adolf Hitler?
have an orotund voice and your intonation is spot on. Who wrote that
piece? Adolf Hitler?
PHELAN: [bashful] That was John Galt, in Atlas Shrugged by Ayn
Rand.
Rand.
BREEN: Look, those young women heard you, Phelan, and they're heading
our way.
our way.
MAGRATH: All the world loves an orator!
Peter Ashford <m...@here.there.com> wrote in message news:<dk3Ka.48622$JA5.8...@
> <snip>
>
> "They're both tossers". You could have just posted that, you know.
>
> Personally I don't give a toss, they're half rate hacks that you have to
> go out of your way to hear / read, not rugby players.
> <snip>
>
> "They're both tossers". You could have just posted that, you know.
Indeed I could have, Mr Ashford.
>
> Personally I don't give a toss, they're half rate hacks that you have to
> go out of your way to hear / read, not rugby players.
>
> Their opinion of the game or each other is of no interest to me and I suspect not to
> many other people on this NG.
> Their opinion of the game or each other is of no interest to me and I suspect not to
> many other people on this NG.
Unfortunately, their opinions ARE heeded by a large number of fans on
this NG. All this arrogant, complacent, ignorant NZ uber alles crap
is mere regurgitation of the bigoted, myopic views of a small number
of "journalists", including both of those tossers.
this NG. All this arrogant, complacent, ignorant NZ uber alles crap
is mere regurgitation of the bigoted, myopic views of a small number
of "journalists", including both of those tossers.
And I just love the idea of Gifford and Devlin hating each other like
they do and having to work on the same premises. It mightn't be
uplifting or anything like that, but it's fun!
they do and having to work on the same premises. It mightn't be
uplifting or anything like that, but it's fun!
Okay, so you c'n call me childish...
The morose Kip <rkippe...@yahoo.com> grumps about this writer -
moi - in message news:<755jfv4drk8vc8u3hgog0qc8
moi - in message news:<755jfv4drk8vc8u3hgog0qc8
>
> He's one screwed up unit. Not just a rampant scitzo,
> He's one screwed up unit. Not just a rampant scitzo,
[sic!]
>
> ..... but at least one of his alter-egos is dumb enough to think somebody might read one
> of those delusional self-rants.
> ..... but at least one of his alter-egos is dumb enough to think somebody might read one
> of those delusional self-rants.
All right, Kip, I hear ya, I hear ya! I'll give you a more central
role one of these days. Sorry, but in Part II of the suppressed
episode of Colonial House, you once again have more of an incidental
role. Actually, you are on the receiving end of some violence by my
batman.... but I'm divulging too much! You'll have to wait for the
weekend, Kips, like everyone else.
role one of these days. Sorry, but in Part II of the suppressed
episode of Colonial House, you once again have more of an incidental
role. Actually, you are on the receiving end of some violence by my
batman.... but I'm divulging too much! You'll have to wait for the
weekend, Kips, like everyone else.
>
> Probably should pity the unfortunate thing.
> Probably should pity the unfortunate thing.
Just give moi love, Kip, by continuingto read my posts. This writer
doesn't need your pity.
doesn't need your pity.
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