Wednesday 3 January 2018

Tau Henare declares: “I could’ve been SPEAKER!” (Dec. 9, 2016)

Tau Henare declares: “I could’ve been SPEAKER!”
Guyon Espiner: “We haven’t got time for that.”

RNZ National, Thursday 8 December 2016
The best thing Trevor Mallard ever did in his entire career was when he punched that waste of space Tau Henare. Incredibly, Henare, instead of being shunned as he would be by any decent or serious media outlet, is still being given time to clog up the airwaves with his nonsense. Yesterday morning he was at his David Brentian worst….
The restless backbench–their one chance for relevance. We look back at a turbulent week in politics with the former National Party press secretary Ben Thomas and the former National Party MP Tau Henare.
GUYON ESPINER: The prime minister John Key is stepping DOWN at the top of HIS career and the race is ON to replace him. It very much looks like BILL ENGLISH has the numbers, but also in this race are Jonathan Coleman and Judith Collins. I’m joined now to discuss their prospects by the former National Party press secretary Ben Thomas. Good morning to you Ben.
BEN THOMAS: Hi Guyon.
GUYON ESPINER: And National Party—former National Party M.P., ahhh, Tau Henare, also a Minister of the Crown back in the day. Good morning to both of you.
TAU HENARE: Morning chief!
GUYON ESPINER: Now, let’s have a look at Bill English. It looks pretty much like he’s GOT this doesn’t it Tau?
TAU HENARE: Yeah, I mean I always thought that, uh, the way it panned out, um, Bill would, uh, win on the day whenever the election for, for leader was. It’s just a, it’s a, A typical National Party, uh, succession plan.
GUYON ESPINER: A stitch up?
BEN THOMAS: Hyeeeee! A ha ha ha!
TAU HENARE: You could say that. But hey I mean—-
GUYON ESPINER: He was given what, he was given how long, a couple of months heads up and he’s been allowed to do it in a week when he’s announcing some pretty rosy numbers—
TAU HENARE: That’s right.
GUYON ESPINER: —that are going to be announced today on the books, and the vote comes on Monday.
TAU HENARE: Yeah that’s right. And look, I mean it’s better than rolling around in the mud for three months publicly and, and, um, I, I think, um, I think it’s been pretty cool. I think, I think it’s given the party a bit of a, a kick up the backside, uh, in terms of, hey!, get your, get your STUFF together, ahhhmm, we have an ELECTION to fight next year.
GUYON ESPINER: Ben do you think that damage has been done? Things that are said can’t be unsaid. You’ve got Judith Collins running around saying, y’know, talking about tax cuts, that she wouldn’t be pursuing those. Is damage done in these sort of battles?
BEN THOMAS: Well I guess there’s been no public announcement about whether we will have tax cuts or whether we’ll have, y’know, family incentives or whatever, um, so in that way they’re not really deviating from—
GUYON ESPINER: It leaves him in a difficult position to go ahead with it doesn’t it?
BEN THOMAS: No, I think you’re allowed to, you’re allowed to express an opinion probably before, y’know, before the budget next year, ahhhhmm, I think everyone’ll be expected to fall into line by then.
GUYON ESPINER: Yeah. What do you make of the bids then from Collins and Coleman?
BEN THOMAS: There’s a real issue with the National Party leadership post John Key, which is, if you’re in Labour, you can kind of wait for another eighteen months for your turn to come around. Whereas, here, y’know, this is the first time most of, this is the first time this job’s come up, y’know, in a decade, um, and I think you’d be looking at a guy like Coleman, or perhaps even Collins, and they would think, you know, if it’s another FOUR years, if Bill were to take over, or even longer if it was one of the contenders, y’know, whose names were thrown around but didn’t pan out, you know you would be looking at being maybe in your mid-fifties, in your early sixties before you had another opportunity.
GUYON ESPINER: Yeah but Coleman can’t seriously believe he’s got a CHANCE, can he? Is he going for something else?
TAU HENARE: I, I, I, I think that, ahhhmmm, it’s been a, um, a, a DOG’S BREAKFAST, ahhh, frankly, ahhhmm—
GUYON ESPINER: From what?
TAU HENARE: From Coleman AND from Judith.
GUYON ESPINER: Really? Why is that?
TAU HENARE: Yeah well from Judith, I think she’s gone out as if it’s some sort of presidential race. Well I’m sorry: if you don’t realize that FIFTY-NINE people vote for you, not, ahhhmm, y’know, one point five million, then I think there’s something SERIOUSLY WRONG with you.
GUYON ESPINER: So it’s been a matter of not really knowing who your audience is, you mean?
TAU HENARE: Well exactly. I mean, Coleman came out with he’s the new, you know, generation, as if he was a MILLENNIAL, but there’s only seven years between him and Judith Collins.
GUYON ESPINER: He’s fifty, he had relative youth. [chuckles]
TAU HENARE: I mean I, I just think that it’s silly. Yeah I mean, I, I, I actually think that, that um, ahhh, the Deputy Prime Ministership is, ahh, the one to watch. I think that’s, that’s—
GUYON ESPINER: Who do you think’s gonna get it?
TAU HENARE: Um, it could be ANYBODY.
GUYON ESPINER: Someone from out YOUR way.
TAU HENARE: Listen mate, I, I, I’m a mate of Simon’s AND a mate of, uh, Paula’s, and I wouldn’t like to pick between them. And then, I, I—
GUYON ESPINER: Who WOULD you vote for if you had a chance?
TAU HENARE: Who would I vote for?
GUYON ESPINER: Yeah.
TAU HENARE: Oh, uh, y’know if I was IN there, in the caucus, I would be the Manchurian Candidate.
GUYON ESPINER: Ha ha ha ha ha!
BEN THOMAS: Ha ha ha ha ha!
TAU HENARE: Hyuk hyuk hyuk hyuk hyuk!
GUYON ESPINER: Ha ha ha! Let’s—Ben?
BEN THOMAS: There IS that issue though, because there IS some discontent among the back benches, you know, you’ve got a HUGE back bench to manage in National—
GUYON ESPINER: Yeah.
BEN THOMAS: —partly because of John Key’s electoral success and a lot of these guys, you know, are sort of chomping at the bit for their chance—-
GUYON ESPINER: Yeah so what’s gonna—
BEN THOMAS: And there is—
TAU HENARE: Oh look, they should, they should just HANG ON. I mean, for GOODNESS’ SAKE—
BEN THOMAS: [beginning to lose patience] We-e-e-e-elll….
TAU HENARE: Who got them IN there in the first place? I think that they’re a bunch of JUMPED UP—
BEN THOMAS: Hyuh! [snickers]
TAU HENARE: —y’know, I tell ya what, I tell ya what—-
BEN THOMAS: Ha ha, HA!
TAU HENARE: There’s not a lot of back benchers that I would, ahhhhmmm, present to Cabinet. Y’know?
GUYON ESPINER: Well, Ben, what do you think would satisfy the appetite of the restless back bench then?
BEN THOMAS: Well, they, they only get ONE SAY, you know, this voting caucus is pretty much the only say they have—
GUYON ESPINER: So they’re relevant for a short time.
BEN THOMAS: So they’re relevant and they’re not going to just sacrifice it easily, um, you know, to go with a handover, even with Key’s sort of mana and standing, right?
TAU HENARE: Can I—
GUYON ESPINER: [reluctantly] Yeah.
TAU HENARE: I could’ve been SPEAKER!
GUYON ESPINER: Ha!
BEN THOMAS: A ha ha hyeeeeegh!
GUYON ESPINER: There’s not, we haven’t got time for that.
BEN THOMAS: Ha ha!
GUYON ESPINER: I did want to look back in history though. ‘Cos look at the ones who’ve taken over from P.M. without being elected. Rowling takes over after Kirk dies, he loses to Muldoon. Lange resigns, Palmer picks up, Moore loses. Shipley takes over from Bolger in ’97 and loses to Clark in ’99. Four-nil, in terms of people who have taken over in office without being elected.
BEN THOMAS: Yeah.
GUYON ESPINER: How do we see Bill English, presuming he does win, going from here?
TAU HENARE: I, I, I think that Bill’s campaign IS about stability, IS about “look at what we’ve done, near, NEARLY five per cent unemployment, you know, around that—
GUYON ESPINER: Yeah. But isn’t that dangerous after eight years, oh I’ve got “Steady as she goes” when the electorate might be saying Well look I’ve—
BEN THOMAS: Voters bank gains pretty quickly. There is an opportunity, even Key pointed this out, he said there’s gotta be, you know, rejuvenation. Key was actually GOOD at that, in his cabinets. So you can’t probably just have this situation where you have exactly the same faces. And in terms of the race for Deputy, perhaps, you know, you might see that Bennett, you know, for all her talents, is seen as the Key candidate, as part of the master plan, as part of business as usual. You might see that Bridges is sort of the outlet for the expression of the back benches.
GUYON ESPINER: Hmmm. Just finally on Bill English though, performance-wise, I mean, he’s gonna be a very DIFFERENT prime minister. Can’t see him sort of mincing down the catwalk on a fashion sort of parade, or doing any of that sort of stuff that John Key did as a sort of cheerleader—
BEN THOMAS: Do they have fashion parades in Southland?
GUYON ESPINER: A ha ha ha ha….
TAU HENARE: Fashion parade in GORE!
GUYON ESPINER: A ha ha ha ha.
TAU HENARE: Eh?
GUYON ESPINER: But it wasn’t, seriously, it wasn’t a great success was it, Bill Mark One as leader?
TAU HENARE: No, but I, and I also think that’s a different time as well. I mean the National Party WERE at their lowest ebb anyway. There’d been a HUGE crap fight about the leadership and, um, now-w-w-w, I mean the National Party are hovering around FIFTY per cent, the economy is good, people I sense don’t actually want THAT much change—they’d like to see something NEW, ah, but they don’t want that much change.
GUYON ESPINER: Change with continuity then?
BEN THOMAS: Hyeeee…Yes. Ha ha ha. Look, Bill, Bill English is a MUCH more polished performer these days and he’s got a track record that, you know, NOBODY’s going to, like, second-guess. Um, I think this is going to be a much more successful second act in public life.
GUYON ESPINER: All right. Thank you for that. That’s Ben Thomas and Tau Henare.
  • Wayne10.1
    I note that various commenters on The Standard put up transcripts like this usually to try and show that everyone in the interview is a mentally challenged idiot.
    But having full transcripts with every little thing; “eh”, “now-w-w-w” having the same emphasis as the substantive points is completely misleading.
    When we listen to the radio we tune those things out unless they are so distracting as to completely disrupt the interview.
    It might seem like a cute trick to do this, but in my view is quite stupid. For instance if you do it with Trump you would completely miss why he gets his message across.
    • Rosemary McDonald10.1.1
      “….unless they are so distracting as to completely disrupt the interview.”
      Exactly.
      Thanks for pointing out the obvious Wayne.
    • Tricledrown10.1.2
      Wayne you point out that people don’t listen to the oohs and ums.
      Your right but then they turn off when the points are made.
      Poor articulation in the modern media
      Is more important than ever.
      Key was articulate English is far from that .
      English sounds as if he has verbal constipation.
      Ah ooh a ummmmmm.
    • weka10.1.3
      “I note that various commenters on The Standard put up transcripts like this usually to try and show that everyone in the interview is a mentally challenged idiot.”
      Morrissey is pretty much the only person on ts that does this. He gets criticised for his transcripts regularly.
      • Paul10.1.3.1
        I admire his transcripts.
      • Morrissey10.1.3.2
        So what aspect of this transcript would YOU criticize, weka?
        • weka10.1.3.2.1
          I don’t read your transcripts any more Morrissey.
          • Morrissey10.1.3.2.1.1
            I don’t believe you.
            • weka
              you think I am lying?
              • Morrissey
                How can you comment on my transcripts if you don’t read them? That’s a standard of seriousness I would have attributed to the likes of Mike Hosking or Leighton Smith, not to someone working for a reputable outlet like The Standard.
                • weka
                  I’m not commenting on your transcripts in terms of content (and I haven’t read the current one which is what you asked me about). I just pointed out that you are pretty much the only person that does such transcripts here (because Wayne was implying that it’s common), and that you have been criticised for them fairly often. Are either of those things untrue?
                  • Morrissey
                    So they get criticised. Wayne, for instance, has written a fair and thoughtful response to my transcript of David Brent Henare’s performance the other day. I’m fine with that, just as I’m fine with the (far more numerous) people who praise my work.
                  • weka
                    so what’s the problem then?
    • Morrissey10.1.4
      You were his colleague, so of course you’re going to defend him. Good on you for your stubborn loyalty, Dr Mapp.
      But of course, you are well aware that a politician’s eloquence, or in this case lack of eloquence, is crucial to his or her credibility.
      Should we clean up and airbrush the dimwitted umm-ing and ahhh-ing of second-rate broadcasters like Larry Williams and Leighton Smith, and of second-rate politicians like Hekia Parata and Tau Henare? Of course not.
    • Red Hand10.1.5
      On the other hand, by including interjections these carefully written transcripts add emotional expression, enriching the text and making the reading more pleasurable and informative. Thanks Morrissey.
    • Sacha10.1.6
      Most of us are too busy to do what Mr Breen does. Which is a good thing.
  • “GUYON ESPINER: Ha ha ha ha ha!
    BEN THOMAS: Ha ha ha ha ha!
    TAU HENARE: Hyuk hyuk hyuk hyuk hyuk!:”
    dirty – why didn’t Tau get ha ha’s – was he speaking te reo Māori? Is your bias showing? Why have you doctored the transcript? What are you trying to hide? Why didn’t you mention the Obama years? Why are you selling out? What other things are you not telling us? Why don’t you read more? Why didn’t you abuse Kim Hill like you did last week for not mentioning Obama – JUST AS YOU didn’t mention him? Why are you not apologising for misleading people? Who do you work for? Why have you not answered yet?
    • ropata10.2.1
      UF party mole sent here to monitor and report back to his bouffant overlord
    • Siobhan10.2.2
      Ben Thomas gets in a few “Hyuh”s throughout the transcript.
      Maybe its the only te reo Māori he knows.
    • Morrissey10.2.3
      why didn’t Tau get ha ha’s – was he speaking te reo Māori?
      That’s his way of laughing. He also laughs like that when he scoffs at cleaning women after he’s reduced them to tears.
      Is your bias showing?
      My bias is against nasty, shallow, vacuous politicians like Tau Henare. But, just like the dead, he is entitled to fair and truthful treatment—which he got here. I made nothing up. Nothing. The vacuity, the idiocy, and the pathetic self-aggrandizement—“I could’ve been SPEAKER!”—is all Henare’s.
      Why have you doctored the transcript?
      I haven’t. It’s a precise transcript.
      The rest of your angry little rant defies analysis, unfortunately.
      • Wayne10.2.3.1
        Morrissey,
        Well, the transcript might be literally correct, but in practise, it is wrong.
        As I noted before very few of us actually listen to anyone in that manner (although perhaps you do). Otherwise most of us would barely make sense in interviews and conversations.
        It is only if the “umms” and “ahhs”, or the partially completed sentences become distracting that we actually notice them.
        I made a real effort to speak in complete and short sentences during interviews, but when I read the actual transcripts at best I only did it about 70% of the time.
        People take much more notice of energy, variation, tone and sincerity than grammar.
        • Morrissey10.2.3.1.1
          People take much more notice of energy, variation, tone and sincerity than grammar.
          Quite true. Even great thinkers and speakers like Noam Chomsky will say “uh” occasionally.
          You were and are a good speaker, Mr Mapp. It’s clear you did think before you spoke, and your verbal fillers, when you did lapse into them, were not significant.
          I have emphasized the “umms” and “ahhs” of certain broadcasters and politicians precisely because, as you point out, their verbal infelicity does indeed distract and sometimes even becomes the substance of whatever they’re trying to say.
          Filling up every potential silence with “ummm” and “ahhh” is not merely a symptom of verbal clumsiness and/or unpreparedness, it’s a way of dominating an interlocutor, and not allowing him/her to speak through that wall of noise. If you want to hear the most grievous user of “ummmmm” and “errrrrr, ahhhhhhhh, ummmmmm”, I advise you to listen to NewstalkZB on a weekday between 8:30 a.m. and noon for a few minutes.
          There’s another verbal device often used by New Zealand politicians: repeating the phrase “y’know” throughout one’s speech—as Ben Thomas does in the above transcript. Helen Clark is one of the worst and most persistent offenders here, although she shortens it to “Y’ow”, often accompanied by a snicker.
      • marty mars10.2.3.2
        Why didn’t you mention Obama? Dropped ball, went forward, take it back at the mark.
        • Morrissey10.2.3.2.1
          Suddenly we’re playing football? Suits me.
          • marty mars10.2.3.2.1.1
            Why aren’t you denouncing Obama as you expect others to do from Kim hill to me.
            • Morrissey
              marty, my objection to your post the other day was that you had simply repeated a vile piece of propaganda, in which three official enemies—Pol Pot, Stalin and Putin—were classed as the bad guys, and Obama was classed along with the likes of Mahatma Gandhi. That’s ludicrous, and offensive to anyone who cares about truthfulness and decency.
              I accept your word that you presumed it was so obvious that no further comment was needed; I’m sorry if you construed it as a personal attack. It wasn’t.

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