New Zealand’s top brains spring into action following Super 15 disaster
Radio Sport, Sunday 10 July 2011 3.30 p.m.
The Canterbury Crusaders lost the Super 15 final on Saturday night. That means New Zealand’s best intellects will be working hard to work out the reason for the calamity….
MURRAY DEAKER: Plenty of spare lines, you’ll get straight through if you ring now. Phil, your thoughts?
CALLER PHIL: I want to talk about the All Black squad. Murray, I am very, very concerned. I think we will have a lack of intelligence, once the ball goes past Daniel Carter.
DEAKER: [long, thoughtful pause] Conrad Smith?
PHIL: Yes, but what if he’s injured, Murray?
DEAKER: [long, thoughtful pause] I know what you’re getting at, Phil.
PHIL: Yes, well, it needs to be said, Murray.
DEAKER: [with utmost gravitas] A lot of people talk about this in private, but are not prepared to talk about it in public. But I don’t give a TOSS about that! The problem is that in this country we have a lot of boys that are EARLY MATURERS.
PHIL: Yes, oh yes.
DEAKER: These guys haven’t got the slender build of, say, a Dan Carter, or a Jeff Wilson, or an Andrew Mehrtens.
PHIL: That’s right, Murray.
DEAKER: So they’ve never had to jink, or sidestep, or run around any opponents. They are so HUGE that all they have ever had to do is barge past them. They’ve never had to THINK! Because they’re early maturers!
PHIL: It’s a worry. Because these overseas teams, they’re THINKERS, Murray! They’re private school boys, and they’re thinkers.! The Australians, Murray, they’re just so EDUCATED! I remember once when the lowest-qualified player in the team was a chartered accountant, Murray!
DEAKER: Yes, but we’ll not see the likes of Nick Farr-Jones, David Kirk, Sir John Graham and Sir Wilson Whineray again. They were very bright guys!
PHIL: I’m so worried, Murray….
…ad absurdum, ad nauseam, ad infinitum….
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
DEAKER-WATCH is a series dedicated to highlighting the contributions of Murray Deaker New Zealand public life.
DEAKER-WATCH No.1…
http://thestandard.org.nz/open-mike-13032012/#comment-446445
http://thestandard.org.nz/open-mike-13032012/#comment-446445
DEAKER-WATCH No. 2…
http://thestandard.org.nz/open-mike-14032012/#comment-447110
http://thestandard.org.nz/open-mike-14032012/#comment-447110
DEAKER-WATCH No. 3…
http://thestandard.org.nz/open-mike-15032012/#comment-447518
http://thestandard.org.nz/open-mike-15032012/#comment-447518
- Love the “(With utmost gravitas)” !!!
- I love the “Plenty of spare lines” refrain, which is, encouragingly, the most common thing Deaker says on his show.
- Deaker’s an idiot, why I wasted my teen years listening to him I will never know.
- Don’t just listen, Millsy, fight back! Like these guys are doing…
- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K3VnMFQUPcI
DEAKER-WATCH No. 3
Has hypocrisy ever been more shameless than this?
Radio Sport/Newstalk ZB, Wed. 7 July 2004, 7 – 8 p.m.
hypocrisy, n., from the Greek ὑπόκρισις (hypokrisis): Jealous, play-acting, acting out, coward, dissembling
Anybody who has suffered more than a few hours of lugubrious Newstalk ZB sports “pundit” MURRAY DEAKER will be familiar with his stock phrases: “dopey”, “dumb”, “boofheads”, “sick and tired”, “you’ve stopped me in my tracks”, “drivel”, et cetera, ad nauseam.
Another of Deaker’s constant refrains is: “I’m not interested in politics.” So it might have surprised some of his listeners to hear him interviewing, last Wednesday night, not just any old politician, but one of the nastier specimens you’d find anywhere: the infamous anti-democratic thug Colonel Sitiveni Rabuka.
Deaker, who (believe it or not) taught history in his former career, offered this remarkable interpretation of Rabuka’s nefarious actions: “You were involved in politics and some years ago, out of frustration, you led a coup against the government…” Note the sympathetic “out of frustration”.
Then he gets onto talking about what Colonel Rabuka has actually come for: the upcoming game between the Pacific Islanders and the All Blacks. Rabuka identifies the NZRFU as a major obstruction to the Pacific Islanders team and to Pacific Islands football in general.
Predictably, Deaker uses that comment as a springboard for his standard anti-NZRFU rant: “When you run into NZRU supporters – I mean NZRU officials – they’re always crotchety and apparently you don’t understand anything.” (Another constant Deaker theme is his never-ending grizzle that “the NZRFU won’t talk to me.” This stems from the 1999 Rugby World Cup, when the All Blacks – indeed most football people – were so disgusted by his ignorant behaviour before and especially after the semi-final loss to France, that they have shunned him ever since.)
After Colonel Rabuka leaves, it’s open line for what Peter Thorburn memorably labelled the “flat earth society”. First caller is a bloke named John, who launches into a tirade against the P.I. team,
asserting that they are “bludgers” and that they’d have plenty of money if they just stopped giving all that money to their churches.
asserting that they are “bludgers” and that they’d have plenty of money if they just stopped giving all that money to their churches.
Now, Deaker is infamous for his own vitriolic anti-Polynesian tirades over the years. Of the Deaker stock phrases mentioned at the beginning of this article, he reserves three of them almost
exclusively for Polynesian players: “dopey”, “dumb”, “boofheads”. So you’d expect Deaker to agree with what caller John is saying, right?
exclusively for Polynesian players: “dopey”, “dumb”, “boofheads”. So you’d expect Deaker to agree with what caller John is saying, right?
Wrong. Like all bullies, Deaker is capricious, unpredictable. Who could guess that tonight he’d decide to come across as sanctimoniously PRO-Polynesian? So after John has vented his spleen, there is a long, ominous pause as the great broadcaster prepares his response.
“John, you HATE them, don’t you?”
John demurs at that accusation, but of course Deaker is implacable: “No, no, you had two goes at them. You called them bludgers and you had a go at their churches. You’re going to call them headhunters next!” (By this point, Deaker has discreetly cut John off to prevent any reply.) “John, open your heart up and have a bit of love for your fellow man, because your heart is twisted with hatred!”
Next caller is ex-boxer Denny Enright, a regular caller to Deaker’s show, and renowned for saying “Murray” at least twice in virtually every sentence he utters. Deaker takes the opportunity to have
another go at the previous caller: “Denny, I just want to check. Did that last guy sound to you like a guy with a real chip on his shoulder against Islanders? He was as bad as I’ve heard…”
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
DEAKER-WATCH is a series dedicated to highlighting the contributions of Murray Deaker to New Zealand public life.
another go at the previous caller: “Denny, I just want to check. Did that last guy sound to you like a guy with a real chip on his shoulder against Islanders? He was as bad as I’ve heard…”
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
DEAKER-WATCH is a series dedicated to highlighting the contributions of Murray Deaker to New Zealand public life.
DEAKER-WATCH No.1…
http://thestandard.org.nz/open-mike-13032012/#comment-446445
http://thestandard.org.nz/open-mike-13032012/#comment-446445
DEAKER-WATCH No. 2…
http://thestandard.org.nz/open-mike-14032012/#comment-447110
http://thestandard.org.nz/open-mike-14032012/#comment-447110
- DEAKER-WATCH No. 2
- Notorious race-baiting broadcaster Murray Deaker is in the news for yet again using racist language on air. The target this time was Muslims, but longtime Deaker-watchers know that he has been making brutal, demeaning comments about Māori and Polynesian athletes for more than twenty years.The DEAKER-WATCH series is designed to bring Deaker’s bigotry to the notice of those people who are not bored enough, or sad enough, or dull enough to listen to one of his programmes. Here then, like a sulphurous blast from seven years past, is the first in the series…Deaker still concerned about “dumb” Polynesian football players
by MORRISSEY BREEN, Daisycutter Sports Inc.
Monday, August 29, 2005Great test match on Saturday, in spite of it being played at night-time in Dunedin. A thrilling late try by Keven Mealamu means we beat the Springboks and are in line for the Tri-Nations title.New Zealand fans and New Zealand media commentators would be elated at that, surely? Well, yes, they are… mostly.You’ve been thinking the All Blacks have played brilliantly this season? Think again, buddy. Deeper, cleverer minds than you or I have been cogitating, and they are gravely concerned.Minds like Murray Deaker’s, for instance. As ever, the man grandiosely billed on his radio station’s promos as “New Zealand’s number one sports broadcaster” is again giving voice to his perennial theme, viz., the All Blacks, being full of Polynesian and Maori players, are just too…. well, …. too dumb.Tonight, in tones of deep seriousness, he informs his listeners that “our players are faster, stronger, better athletes — but they’re not BRIGHTER.”A caller named Mark is in full agreement with the great man: “They’re BRAINLESS, Murray! Why are they so THICK?”Deaker develops his theme: “Umaga — a GREAT player. But I question his judgement. If only he had somebody like Grant Fox inside him — a player with BRAINS. These guys play with fantastic athleticism but they don’t play with NOUS.”Got it, New Zealand football fans? No matter how good they look, those darkies are just too st00000-pid to play rugby football at the top level. They are constantly being out-thought by smarter white players, as we saw demonstrated in Paris last November, and during the Lions series earlier this year.When are the All Black selectors going to LISTEN to real, passionate, BRIGHT fans like Murray Deaker and “Mark”, and get rid of those darkies? Can’t they see how they are DESTROYING the All Blacks? Deaker and “Mark” can, for Chrissakes!!! What’s WRONG with Henry, Hansen and Smith? Are they blind?– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
DEAKER-WATCH is a series dedicated to highlighting the contributions of Murray Deaker to New Zealand public life.
DEAKER-WATCH No.1…
http://thestandard.org.nz/open-mike-13032012/#comment-446445 - DEAKER-WATCH No. 1Deaker counsels Pownceby: “Just say nothing”.
July 7, 2004Anybody who has been unfortunate enough, or silly enough, to listen for more than a few minutes to Radio Sport’s Murray Deaker will be well aware of his malicious, occasionally almost deranged, campaign of vilification against New Zealand football administrators, players, coaches and teams – in particular the Otago Highlanders and the All Blacks. For some four years now, he has never missed an opportunity to express just how “sick and tired” he is of the “boofheads” who refuse to “communicate” with “the fans”. That means, of course, that they refuse to talk to Murray Deaker.The reason for that of course is easy to pinpoint: Deaker’s arrogant and ignorant behaviour before, and especially after, the All Blacks’ 1999 World Cup semifinal loss to France. Fans were dismayed and disgusted by the moronic antics of Deaker and his acolytes like Martin Devlin—but the players were utterly outraged. (Just read Jeff Wilson’s or Josh Kronfeld’s or Norm Hewitt’s autobiographies to see this.)Deaker’s anti-All Black crusade took a remarkably loathsome turn in 2002, when he decided to back John O’Neill and Vernon Pugh’s conspiracy to rob the World Cup sub-hosting from New Zealand, treacherously turning on the NZRFU chiefs, repeatedly calling them “dumb”, blaming them alone for the betrayal and sycophantically “interviewing” Pugh (“a man of integrity”, “loves the game”) and O’Neill (“incredibly smart Aussie”, “a man of integrity”).Deaker’s campaign reached its nadir on Sunday 16 November, the day after the All Blacks had lost to Australia in the World Cup semifinal. Having promised just the day before that he would “not be leading the death squad” if New Zealand lost, Deaker interviewed the new NZRFU chief Chris Moller. Actually, he didn’t interview Moller, he shouted at him for an hour: “They’re saying the All Blacks are ARROGANT, they’re IGNORANT…. Chris, DAMN you! Why should we be so PLEASANT?”Deaker became almost apopleptic as the determinedly pleasant and unflappable Moller remained calm in the face of this blizzard of self-righteous indignation. Lately, of course, it’s been all sunshine and smiles; Deaker’s old Auckland Grammar teaching colleague and mate Graham Henry is in charge of the All Blacks, and Deaker now has unfettered access. The grizzling has stopped, at least until they lose a match.But no doubt many radio listeners gasped tonight, when they heard the great broadcaster say this: “How should Soulan Pownceby handle the media? He should just say nothing. Mark Todd had the right idea about how to handle the media: JUST SAY NOTHING.” Perhaps Christopher Hitchens (also a notorious drunkard) is the most infamous flip-flopper in media history, but surely Murray Deaker’s advice to anyone, even the beleaguered Pownceby, to “just say nothing” to the media is about the most hypocritical about-turn that we’ve seen in this country for some time.I challenge anyone else to provide a more craven example of humbug by a New Zealand media personality.– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
DEAKER-WATCH is a series dedicated to highlighting the contributions of Murray Deaker to New Zealand public life.
Its not there’s competition is there.
Meanwhile, enjoy this amusing vegetable…
http://lovecarrots.files.wordpress.com/2007/10/ronnie_hoggan_carrot.jpg
Carrots – so good for one. Healthy, good for your eyes etc. And watch Brett Dale DFT. Save your time for your other good comments. I like your reporting of some of the discourses on the media.