Suggested candidates for new ACT leader (Dec. 9, 2013)

Morrissey18

9 December 2013 at 10:15 am

Suggested candidates for new ACT leader

“The party can rebuild. …We have a number of very talented potential candidates.”
—-ACT president John Boscawen

The sheep of Epsom will vote for anyone they are instructed to vote for. You don’t get to the level of mediocrity that enables you to live in such a nice area without being obedient and amenable. Here are the most appealing prospects for ACT in Epsom….

Kyle Chapman Positives: principled, in an ACT kind of way, and sounds just like an ACT spokesman. Downside: would possibly set fire to downtown Wellington.

Garth “Gaga” George Positives: old and dopey, and never asks questions. Downside: would probably die after three months in office, thus necessitating a by-election.

Kerre McIvor (née ohoWmad) Positives: enormous ego; staunch supporter of Chinese government; intolerant of dissent; doesn’t read much and knows less; very attractive to silly old men like Brian Edwards; very supportive of violent males like Tony Veitch. Downside: can be extraordinarily unpleasant, intolerant and judgmental. (Then again, this is ACT, and those are therefore further positives.)

Alan Titford Positives: principled, brave, well spoken; sounds just like an ACT spokesman. Downside: in prison for the next 24 years, which would make him only slightly more effective than John Banks.

Tony Veitch Positives: high profile; young; fit; enthusiastic; desperately eager to please, very much in the manner of Rodney Hide. Downsides: anathema to women, and knowing nothing about anything, including his “specialty” of sports; prone to extreme violence against women.

This was first posted on Frank Macskasy’s excellent blog….

http://thedailyblog.co.nz/2013/12/07/suggested-candidates-for-new-act-leader/#comments

• Murray Olsen18.1

  9 December 2013 at 9:16 pm

  In fact, if you put Kyle Chapman in a suit, he’d look and sound very much like Don Brash or Trevor Loudon giving a speech on human rights and how Maori seats are the same as apartheid.
  • Rogue Trooper18.1.1

    9 December 2013 at 9:52 pm

    you would have a greater following than Kyle Chapman Murray
    • Murray Olsen18.1.1.1

      11 December 2013 at 10:52 pm

      If I had his followers, I’d lead them over a cliff.
• Tracey18.2

  10 December 2013 at 7:35 am

  This made me laugh. Alot!
• rhinocrates18.3

  11 December 2013 at 11:03 pm

  You forgot Pete George. Sure, he presents himself as “reasonable” and “moderate” but then he’d present anything as “reasonable” and “moderate” and bore people to death explaining why.
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