After this writer - moi - had pointed out what everybody with a brain
in America already knows all too well, viz. that the egregious
rightwing "pundits" Bill O'Reilly and Sean Hannity are nothing more
than morally and intellectually bankrupt bullies, Redbaiter
<do...@email.me> raged in message
news:<3f11ed9a$1...@news.orcon.
in America already knows all too well, viz. that the egregious
rightwing "pundits" Bill O'Reilly and Sean Hannity are nothing more
than morally and intellectually bankrupt bullies, Redbaiter
<do...@email.me> raged in message
news:<3f11ed9a$1...@news.orcon.
(Ahhhh, what the hell! I'll dramatise it, incorporating my responses
in the usual manner...)
in the usual manner...)
DRAMATIS PERSONAE:
MORRISSEY BREEN (bon vivant, playboy, dramaturge)
E. SCROOGE (his batman)
REDBAITER (fulltime American government apologist, rightist agitator)
BRIAN HARMER (barman)
BRUCE SINCLAIR (customer)
VARIOUS YOUNG WOMEN
MORRISSEY BREEN (bon vivant, playboy, dramaturge)
E. SCROOGE (his batman)
REDBAITER (fulltime American government apologist, rightist agitator)
BRIAN HARMER (barman)
BRUCE SINCLAIR (customer)
VARIOUS YOUNG WOMEN
SCENE: King's Arms, Newton. At one table, a quietly spoken, donnish
gentleman holds court, surrounded by pretty young women, most of them
secretaries from nearby businesses. Occasionally, amidst the excited
giggles, snatches of their talk can be discerned..."Are you going to
use it on anyone, Bruce?"...."Tee hee hee hee hee hee hee!"... "Can we
come to your basement and feel it, Bruce?"... "I've heard it's very
smooth and beautifully shaped"... "Look, there's Al Hunter tuning up
his guitar, but who cares? I'd rather hang round Bruce".... "There's
nothing to it, really, girls - any fool can build one" .... "Well,
I'll bet those three wallies standing at the bar couldn't erect one!"
..... "Tee hee hee hee hee!".... "Did it take you long, Bruce?"...
"You're a rockstar".... "I can only take you into my basement no more
than three at a time, girls"... "Oooooohhhhh!"... "That is so
COOL!"... "It'll make the world sit up and take notice, I say!"...
"No, WE booked Bruce for next Saturday, you cow!"....
gentleman holds court, surrounded by pretty young women, most of them
secretaries from nearby businesses. Occasionally, amidst the excited
giggles, snatches of their talk can be discerned..."Are you going to
use it on anyone, Bruce?"...."Tee hee hee hee hee hee hee!"... "Can we
come to your basement and feel it, Bruce?"... "I've heard it's very
smooth and beautifully shaped"... "Look, there's Al Hunter tuning up
his guitar, but who cares? I'd rather hang round Bruce".... "There's
nothing to it, really, girls - any fool can build one" .... "Well,
I'll bet those three wallies standing at the bar couldn't erect one!"
..... "Tee hee hee hee hee!".... "Did it take you long, Bruce?"...
"You're a rockstar".... "I can only take you into my basement no more
than three at a time, girls"... "Oooooohhhhh!"... "That is so
COOL!"... "It'll make the world sit up and take notice, I say!"...
"No, WE booked Bruce for next Saturday, you cow!"....
Meanwhile, not far from this group, three men stand at the bar,
drinking. Two of them are shouting madly. Yes, REDBAITER and
MORRISSEY BREEN are at it again. Also in attendance is Breen's
batman, E. SCROOGE, who maintains a discreet silence. REDBAITER has
nearly finished his second bottle of whiskey for the afternoon, and is
becoming increasingly loud and irrational. Some of the pretty
secretaries eye the three of them with a combination of profound
distaste and nervousness...
drinking. Two of them are shouting madly. Yes, REDBAITER and
MORRISSEY BREEN are at it again. Also in attendance is Breen's
batman, E. SCROOGE, who maintains a discreet silence. REDBAITER has
nearly finished his second bottle of whiskey for the afternoon, and is
becoming increasingly loud and irrational. Some of the pretty
secretaries eye the three of them with a combination of profound
distaste and nervousness...
REDBAITER: Yes, while fresh personalities like Bill O'Reilly and Sean
Hannity are drawing big audiences in the States...
Hannity are drawing big audiences in the States...
BREEN: What???!!!?!?!?!?!!!?!?!?!?!?!
Are you freaking INSANE?!!?!?!?!!?!?!? Sean Hannity and Bill O'Reilly
are two hardline fundamentalist extreme pro-Bush stooges. I doubt
that EITHER of them has EVER questioned a single pronouncement from
their government, ever. [turns to his batman] Get me another Pimms,
will you, Scrooge? And another bottle of Johnny Walker for Redbaiter.
Are you freaking INSANE?!!?!?!?!!?!?!? Sean Hannity and Bill O'Reilly
are two hardline fundamentalist extreme pro-Bush stooges. I doubt
that EITHER of them has EVER questioned a single pronouncement from
their government, ever. [turns to his batman] Get me another Pimms,
will you, Scrooge? And another bottle of Johnny Walker for Redbaiter.
REDBAITER: What you should do is stop looking through spectacles
tinted so dark red Mowwisy and you might wake from your illusory state
of mind.
tinted so dark red Mowwisy and you might wake from your illusory state
of mind.
BREEN: Hannity and O'Reilly are chilling examples of the
type of media commentator who supports the rogue Bush administration,
whether it is organising an illegal invasion of a former ally, or
setting up a Nazi style death camp at Guantanamo, or backing the
brutal Israeli occupation of Palestine.
type of media commentator who supports the rogue Bush administration,
whether it is organising an illegal invasion of a former ally, or
setting up a Nazi style death camp at Guantanamo, or backing the
brutal Israeli occupation of Palestine.
REDBAITER: And you by the unsubstantiated lies you have written above
prove that the real danger is leftist propaganda agents like yourself
who will tell any lie that furthers their political objective. Like
Goebbels was the threat to public knowledge in Germany in the thirties
and fourties, so are such devious ranting liars as yourself the big
danger to truth in the new century. Hannity and
O'Reilly would never stop to the outright propaganda that you have
just now.
prove that the real danger is leftist propaganda agents like yourself
who will tell any lie that furthers their political objective. Like
Goebbels was the threat to public knowledge in Germany in the thirties
and fourties, so are such devious ranting liars as yourself the big
danger to truth in the new century. Hannity and
O'Reilly would never stop to the outright propaganda that you have
just now.
BREEN: Stoop.
REDBAITER: [irritated] What?
BREEN: Stoop. "Hannity and O'Brien would never STOOP to outright
propaganda".
propaganda".
REDBAITER: [con brio] You small minded rancid bore, Breen. You
pathetic, pin-pricking, small-minded pedant!
pathetic, pin-pricking, small-minded pedant!
BREEN: O'Reilly and Hannity are "fresh personalities" in the same way
that their hero George W. Bush is an honest and wise politician. The
fact that you cite these two ignorant chumps approvingly speaks
volumes about your seriousness, or LACK of seriousness.
that their hero George W. Bush is an honest and wise politician. The
fact that you cite these two ignorant chumps approvingly speaks
volumes about your seriousness, or LACK of seriousness.
REDBAITER: Thanks for your worthless opinion. The fact is that
Hannity and O'Reilly in the ratings war are streets ahead of your
tired old status quo supporting liberals like Larry King etc and were
so long before the war was even thought of.
Hannity and O'Reilly in the ratings war are streets ahead of your
tired old status quo supporting liberals like Larry King etc and were
so long before the war was even thought of.
BREEN: Larry King is a liberal?!?!?!?!?!????!!?????
[At this point, the barman, BRIAN HARMER, who has been exhibiting
signs of exasperation all through this argument, speaks up]
signs of exasperation all through this argument, speaks up]
BRIAN HARMER: Morrissey, can I ask you a question?
BREEN: Why, sure you can! Fire away, Brian.
HARMER: Is this compulsion to transcribe entirely irrelevant rubbish
some internet manifestation of Tourette's syndrome?
some internet manifestation of Tourette's syndrome?
REDBAITER: Good question!
HARMER: What on earth does it have to do with New Zealand? And
wouldn't anyone remotely interested in this crap have listened to it
for him or herself?
wouldn't anyone remotely interested in this crap have listened to it
for him or herself?
BREEN: [taken aback, momentarily nonplussed] Uh, errrrrr...
HARMER: Or alternately, might you consider transcribing absolutely
everything on every channel and posting it solely in a group called
alt.transcriptions'r'us?
everything on every channel and posting it solely in a group called
alt.transcriptions'r'us?
BREEN: [sipping his glass of Pimms] We don't ALL live in an ivory
tower, you know.
tower, you know.
HARMER: My tower is rather ordinary 1956 vintage MOW brick.
[condescendingly] Look, you two, I have no doubt at all that there are
people who are legitimately
interested in US chat shows and odd personalities.
[condescendingly] Look, you two, I have no doubt at all that there are
people who are legitimately
interested in US chat shows and odd personalities.
REDBAITER: "Odd personalities"??!!?!?!?!?!? Bill O'Reilly and Sean
Hannity are two of the greatest American intellects since... since...
Hannity are two of the greatest American intellects since... since...
BREEN: Ronald Reagan?
REDBAITER: Well, no, I wouldn't quite place them on THAT level quite
yet.
yet.
BREEN: Dan Quayle?
REDBAITER: Yes, that's right. They are the greatest American
intellects since Dan Quayle. They are loyal Americans and true
patriots who never, ever question the motives or actions of their
government. Stop laughing, Breen, you disrespectful pig!
intellects since Dan Quayle. They are loyal Americans and true
patriots who never, ever question the motives or actions of their
government. Stop laughing, Breen, you disrespectful pig!
HARMER: The question in my mind is "why use this pub as a vehicle for
it?"
it?"
BREEN: What - suddenly we're not allowed to discuss anything we like
in New Zealand pubs? What is this - freaking
AMERICA?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?????
in New Zealand pubs? What is this - freaking
AMERICA?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?????
HARMER:Isn't there a pub somewhere that you discuss foreign TV
programmes?
programmes?
REDBAITER: [sourly] Well, there IS, but Breen had us kicked out of
that one.
that one.
HARMER: And if it really was necessary to discuss it here, wouldn't it
have been sufficient to post the url so that those who were interested
could go there? I gave your last transcript a D.
have been sufficient to post the url so that those who were interested
could go there? I gave your last transcript a D.
REDBAITER: [snorts] Ha! I gave it an F minus!
BREEN: Anyway, Redbaiter, old bean, you were talking about the media.
Pray continue.
Pray continue.
[REDBAITER drains seventeenth straight glass of Johnny Walker.]
REDBAITER: People are tired of lies from the mainstream press...
BREEN: You got THAT right, buddy!
REDBAITER: ... and they're even more tired of the lies from extreme
left idiots like you who support their media buddies come hell or high
water,...
left idiots like you who support their media buddies come hell or high
water,...
BREEN: How much have you had to drink exactly? I DESPISE the
mainstream media. Their cowardice and their willing suspension of
journalistic ethics, their craven, unquestioning support of the rogue
Bush administration: they are a shame and a disgrace and an insult to
the likes of Upton Sinclair, Ed Murrow, Walter Cronkite, Bob Woodward,
Carl Bernstein and ALL the brilliant and brave and independent-minded
American journalists of the past. And you say I "support" these
fools? And that they are my "buddies"?!!?!?!?!!???
mainstream media. Their cowardice and their willing suspension of
journalistic ethics, their craven, unquestioning support of the rogue
Bush administration: they are a shame and a disgrace and an insult to
the likes of Upton Sinclair, Ed Murrow, Walter Cronkite, Bob Woodward,
Carl Bernstein and ALL the brilliant and brave and independent-minded
American journalists of the past. And you say I "support" these
fools? And that they are my "buddies"?!!?!?!?!!???
REDBAITER: [boring on] ....and are now becoming desperate at the
thought that the Berlin wall you put around real information is brick
by brick, steadily being dismantled by the likes of Hannity and
O'Reilly and Coulter and
Goldberg and all the rest.
thought that the Berlin wall you put around real information is brick
by brick, steadily being dismantled by the likes of Hannity and
O'Reilly and Coulter and
Goldberg and all the rest.
BREEN: [turning to his batman] Ah, thank you Scrooge. I need a good
stiff Pimms right now! Here, Redbasiter - this bottle's on moi.
[hands REDBAITER the bottle of Johnny Walker]
stiff Pimms right now! Here, Redbasiter - this bottle's on moi.
[hands REDBAITER the bottle of Johnny Walker]
REDBAITER: [takes bottle and pours his eighteenth glass for the
afternoon, all the while continuing his harangue] Your day is over
Mowwisey. Your time is past. Your heroes are known today as criminals
and murderers, and your role models are known as rapists and liars.
[Drains glass in one gulp, then pours another] As I keep saying,
you're past your use by date Mowwisey, and that is made more obvious
each time you submit a post like this one, that is so indicative of
your Rip Van Winkle mindset.
afternoon, all the while continuing his harangue] Your day is over
Mowwisey. Your time is past. Your heroes are known today as criminals
and murderers, and your role models are known as rapists and liars.
[Drains glass in one gulp, then pours another] As I keep saying,
you're past your use by date Mowwisey, and that is made more obvious
each time you submit a post like this one, that is so indicative of
your Rip Van Winkle mindset.
BREEN: Hey, now! Just because your droning on puts me to sleep, I
don't think you're entitled to call me Rip Van freaking Winkle!
don't think you're entitled to call me Rip Van freaking Winkle!
REDBAITER: [addressing the other drinkers in the room, who completely
ignore him] Sorry about the repost, but I forgot to unarchive it. Why
can't the technically impaired Bween get himself a newsreader?
ignore him] Sorry about the repost, but I forgot to unarchive it. Why
can't the technically impaired Bween get himself a newsreader?
BREEN: WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?????!?!?!? Redbaiter, I don't mind you calling
me a left winger. I don't mind you calling me a "liberal". I don't
even mind you calling me a Rip Van Winkle and a supporter of rapists
and liars. Hell, I don't even care if you insultingly pronounce my
name with a lisp -
me a left winger. I don't mind you calling me a "liberal". I don't
even mind you calling me a Rip Van Winkle and a supporter of rapists
and liars. Hell, I don't even care if you insultingly pronounce my
name with a lisp -
REDBAITER: [con brio] You deserve it all, Breen, you ill-mannered,
rattling pig.
rattling pig.
BREEN: You see, I don't MIND that sort of thing, Redbaiter. I'm the
first to concede that a case could be made for establishing the fact
that I am indeed an "ill-mannered, rattling pig".
first to concede that a case could be made for establishing the fact
that I am indeed an "ill-mannered, rattling pig".
[SCROOGE pointedly clears his throat]
REDBAITER: Ha! You see! Even your manservant thinks you are an
ill-bred ruffian.
ill-bred ruffian.
BREEN: Scrooge's views are well known. As long as he polishes my
shoes to perfection, tidies my house, cooks gourmet meals and runs my
bath on time, I don't mind what he thinks or says beind my back or to
my face. However, the same grace does not extend to YOU, Redbaiter.
When you call me "technically impaired", you cut me to the quick. You
impugn my manhood. You insult me. You have stepped over the line,
sir.
shoes to perfection, tidies my house, cooks gourmet meals and runs my
bath on time, I don't mind what he thinks or says beind my back or to
my face. However, the same grace does not extend to YOU, Redbaiter.
When you call me "technically impaired", you cut me to the quick. You
impugn my manhood. You insult me. You have stepped over the line,
sir.
[BREEN takes white glove from coat pocket, and slaps REDBAITER on the
face with it. Secretaries gasp. There is general commotion in the bar.
Cries of "Stop them, someone!".... "Pathetic".... "This is not the
Edinburgh freaking Castle, for Chrissakes!".... "Break them up!"....
"It's handbags at ten paces!"....]
face with it. Secretaries gasp. There is general commotion in the bar.
Cries of "Stop them, someone!".... "Pathetic".... "This is not the
Edinburgh freaking Castle, for Chrissakes!".... "Break them up!"....
"It's handbags at ten paces!"....]
REDBAITER: You PRICK, Breen! I'm allergic to kid-glove!
BREEN: You're allergic to moi, more like! Defend yourself, you cur!
[Suddenly, a quiet but authoritative figure interposes himself into
the conflict. He takes BREEN in one hand and REDBAITER in the other.
His grip is vise-like and the pair of them wince in pain.]
the conflict. He takes BREEN in one hand and REDBAITER in the other.
His grip is vise-like and the pair of them wince in pain.]
BRUCE SINCLAIR [for it is he]: Excuse me, but why do you two think
that anybody else in this pub would care what happens to
"personalities" that we've never heard of in the US ? Boy did you
pick the wrong group!
that anybody else in this pub would care what happens to
"personalities" that we've never heard of in the US ? Boy did you
pick the wrong group!
{SINCLAIR releases the pair of them and releases them, returning to
the table of young secretaries from whence he came. Derisive laughter
can be heard from the other customers. Random comments can be
heard... "About time!" ... "those f*&%in' idiots" and "Who cares what
Breen thinks?" ... "Baiter and Breen deserve each other" ... "They
should put them in a helicopter and drop them off in the Auckland
Islands for a year and let them fight it out"...]
the table of young secretaries from whence he came. Derisive laughter
can be heard from the other customers. Random comments can be
heard... "About time!" ... "those f*&%in' idiots" and "Who cares what
Breen thinks?" ... "Baiter and Breen deserve each other" ... "They
should put them in a helicopter and drop them off in the Auckland
Islands for a year and let them fight it out"...]
BRIAN HARMER: [drying glasses with tea-towel] I‘d listen to that
fellow if I were you. He's got a cruise missile in his basement....
fellow if I were you. He's got a cruise missile in his basement....
Click here to Reply
 |
In article <fb3a0456.0307...@
>After this writer - moi - had pointed out what everybody with a brain
>in America already knows all too well, viz. that the egregious
>rightwing "pundits" Bill O'Reilly and Sean Hannity are nothing more
>than morally and intellectually bankrupt bullies, Redbaiter
><do...@email.me> raged in message
>news:<3f11ed9a$1...@news.orcon.
>
>(Ahhhh, what the hell! I'll dramatise it, incorporating my responses
>in the usual manner...)
>
>DRAMATIS PERSONAE:
>MORRISSEY BREEN (bon vivant, playboy, dramaturge)
>E. SCROOGE (his batman)
>REDBAITER (fulltime American government apologist, rightist agitator)
>BRIAN HARMER (barman)
>BRUCE SINCLAIR (customer)
>VARIOUS YOUNG WOMEN
>After this writer - moi - had pointed out what everybody with a brain
>in America already knows all too well, viz. that the egregious
>rightwing "pundits" Bill O'Reilly and Sean Hannity are nothing more
>than morally and intellectually bankrupt bullies, Redbaiter
><do...@email.me> raged in message
>news:<3f11ed9a$1...@news.orcon.
>
>(Ahhhh, what the hell! I'll dramatise it, incorporating my responses
>in the usual manner...)
>
>DRAMATIS PERSONAE:
>MORRISSEY BREEN (bon vivant, playboy, dramaturge)
>E. SCROOGE (his batman)
>REDBAITER (fulltime American government apologist, rightist agitator)
>BRIAN HARMER (barman)
>BRUCE SINCLAIR (customer)
>VARIOUS YOUNG WOMEN
LOL :)
Sadly you have me confused with the actual basement missile builder.
Also sadly, if you want to use me in a play you'll have to talk to my agent
.. as I loved the setting :)
Also sadly, if you want to use me in a play you'll have to talk to my agent
.. as I loved the setting :)
A giggle - thanks.
Bruce
------------------------------
Oook !
NOTE remove the not_ from the address to reply. NO SPAM !
|
bruce.sinclair@
>
> Sadly you have me confused with the actual basement missile builder.
> Also sadly, if you want to use me in a play you'll have to talk to my agent
> .. as I loved the setting :)
>
> A giggle - thanks.
>
> Bruce
>
> Sadly you have me confused with the actual basement missile builder.
> Also sadly, if you want to use me in a play you'll have to talk to my agent
> .. as I loved the setting :)
>
> A giggle - thanks.
>
> Bruce
>
So... what the hell had you led those young women to believe?
|
In article <fb3a0456.03071...@
>bruce.sinclair@
> news:<rLHQa.4890$9f7.5...@
>
>>
>> Sadly you have me confused with the actual basement missile builder.
>> Also sadly, if you want to use me in a play you'll have to talk to my agent
>> .. as I loved the setting :)
>>
>> A giggle - thanks.
>bruce.sinclair@
> news:<rLHQa.4890$9f7.5...@
>
>>
>> Sadly you have me confused with the actual basement missile builder.
>> Also sadly, if you want to use me in a play you'll have to talk to my agent
>> .. as I loved the setting :)
>>
>> A giggle - thanks.
>So... what the hell had you led those young women to believe?
noydb :) :)
Bruce
------------------------------
Oook !
NOTE remove the not_ from the address to reply. NO SPAM !
Oook !
NOTE remove the not_ from the address to reply. NO SPAM !
|
On 14 Jul 2003 13:51:56 -0700, morriss...@yahoo.com
(Morrissey Breen) wrote:
(Morrissey Breen) wrote:
snip---
>HARMER: Or alternately, might you consider transcribing absolutely
>everything on every channel and posting it solely in a group called
>alt.transcriptions'r'us?
>everything on every channel and posting it solely in a group called
>alt.transcriptions'r'us?
Brian would never say 'alternately' when he meant
'alternatively'.
'alternatively'.
--
Brian Dooley
Brian Dooley
Wellington New Zealand
https://groups.google.com/forum/?hl=en#!msg/nz.general/GNj52YWEbf4/JR7vTwhZW1sJ
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