“Abandon Empathy and Judgement All Ye Who Enter Here.”
THOUGHT EXPERIMENT: You are a television news reader
THOUGHT EXPERIMENT: You are a television news reader
“Hipkiss, when reading the news or introducing guests reads what other people write. Her job has no editorial component.”—-Sir Galahad Putake, 11 December 2018.
https://thestandard.org.nz/praying-for-grace/#comment-1561196
https://thestandard.org.nz/praying-for-grace/#comment-1561196
Your challenge is to sit behind a desk, look straight at an audience (must consist of at least three people) and read the following ten statements without snickering like Paul Henry, corpsing like Hilary Barry, raising an eyebrow like Peter Williams, pouting like Jack Tame, pausing meaningfully like Simon Dallow or in any other manner indicating dissent or disagreement with the words, however outrageous or offensive, that you are required to read out.
Okay, here we go….
1.) President Trump assured the crowd that he was not only a genius, but an especially “stable genius.”2.) President Clinton admits that he did indeed smoke marijuana, however he was at pains to assure the American people that he “didn’t enjoy it” and he “didn’t inhale.”3.) Mark Textor, co-founder of Crosby/Textor and a Key adviser, said: “Growing up the son of a single mum in the suburbs gave him an everyman’s touch. He wasn’t cool, but people liked that. If anything, his dorkiness translated into empathy and sincerity.”
https://www.radionz.co.nz/news/on-the-inside/320458/brand-john-the-key-to-national's-success4.) Repeatedly insisting that the victim had in fact chased himself down and then stabbed himself to death, the victim advocate Garth McVicar noted that the angry man wielding the knife had nothing to do with the killing.5.) Judith Collins said she was most concerned about those close to Mr Ross. “I just feel SO SORRY for his wife and family. It’s so appalling.”6.) “Israel is a law-abiding state,” said Mr Netanyahu.7.) The blogger Cameron Slater issued the following statement: “I don’t break the law, and that’s the end of the story.”8.) Assistant Commissioner Alan Boreham assured the media: “Look, integrity is absolutely critical to the New Zealand Police. It’s a core value.”9.) Addressing the shooting down of an Iranian commercial airline plane by the USSVincennes, which killed 290 civilians, President George H.W. Bush said: “I will never apologize for the United States. I don’t care what the facts are. I’m not an apologize-for-America kind of guy.”
https://www.dailykos.com/stories/2014/7/18/1314985/–I-Will-Never-Apologize-Iran-Flight-665-Shot-Down-290-Dead10.) President George W. Bush solemnly announced that the United States would “be standing with the people of Afghanistan and Iraq until their hopes for freedom and liberty are fulfilled.”
If you made it to the end of that with a straight face, congratulations. You are either braindead, or your name is Ingrid.
