News Release: Axel Van Kampen has now been "killfiled" properly
34 posts by 12 authors
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A moron calling himself "Axel Van Kampen" has been posting really
stoo-pid, ignorant stuff on Google Groups lately. This time, merely
assigning the bore to personal killfiles will not be enough. Tougher
measures are needed. Therefore, a large group of Google posters has
gathered to see one of the dumbest bastards in history get his just
desserts. Yes, the consensus of his peers is that it has become
necessary to execute Axel Van Kampen. The convenor of this gathering
is one MORRISSEY BREEN, who has cancelled a liaison with a married
woman from Perth, W.A. and made a special effort to travel to this
place of execution, accompanied by his dark-haired companion, the
gorgeous and bewitching children's nurse, Serena. BREEN now steps
forward to address the meeting...
stoo-pid, ignorant stuff on Google Groups lately. This time, merely
assigning the bore to personal killfiles will not be enough. Tougher
measures are needed. Therefore, a large group of Google posters has
gathered to see one of the dumbest bastards in history get his just
desserts. Yes, the consensus of his peers is that it has become
necessary to execute Axel Van Kampen. The convenor of this gathering
is one MORRISSEY BREEN, who has cancelled a liaison with a married
woman from Perth, W.A. and made a special effort to travel to this
place of execution, accompanied by his dark-haired companion, the
gorgeous and bewitching children's nurse, Serena. BREEN now steps
forward to address the meeting...
BREEN: There's a heart-wrenching moment in John Steinbeck's Of Mice
and Men, where a poor old, rheumatic, smelly dog is taken out the back
of the cabin and shot. The build-up to the firing of the gun is very
effective, the pathetic intensity of the scene heightened by the
sympathy of the other men for the old man who owns the dog.
and Men, where a poor old, rheumatic, smelly dog is taken out the back
of the cabin and shot. The build-up to the firing of the gun is very
effective, the pathetic intensity of the scene heightened by the
sympathy of the other men for the old man who owns the dog.
[Murmuring. Cries of "How sad!" and "I read that book in school" and
"Get on with it, you long-winded pile of reeking leper's vomit!" and
"Hurry up Breen".]
"Get on with it, you long-winded pile of reeking leper's vomit!" and
"Hurry up Breen".]
BREEN: But lighten up, guys! I'm about to put another stupid brute
out of his misery, and I really don't think any of us will have any
feelings other than joy after THIS execution. You see, I am going to
euthanase a moron. A blithering, illiterate, offensive, humourless,
obnoxious, idiotic, whining, friendless, deluded, self-abusing
numbskull. Okay, step back fellas.
out of his misery, and I really don't think any of us will have any
feelings other than joy after THIS execution. You see, I am going to
euthanase a moron. A blithering, illiterate, offensive, humourless,
obnoxious, idiotic, whining, friendless, deluded, self-abusing
numbskull. Okay, step back fellas.
[The spectators take a few steps backward]
BREEN: Not you, Van Kampen!!! You come here. Sit down over there
and wait. Serena, get my Glock out of the car, my love. It's under
the driver's seat.
and wait. Serena, get my Glock out of the car, my love. It's under
the driver's seat.
[Turns to address AXEL VAN KAMPEN.]
BREEN: Alright, moron. I am going to get my lead prosecutor Mr
Richard Edlin, to read the indictment against you first, then I'm
going to put you out of your misery.
Richard Edlin, to read the indictment against you first, then I'm
going to put you out of your misery.
[Thread prosecutor RICHARD EDLIN steps forward, takes out print-out
from inane Google Groups thread, and reads aloud...]
from inane Google Groups thread, and reads aloud...]
RICHARD EDLIN: [gravely, with doom-laden authority] "ANTHONY WEBB,
also known as BLADE, also known as RAZOR, also known as KATE WENZEL,
also known as AMANDA LE BON, also known as AXEL VAN KAMPEN: you are
hereby charged, tried and convicted of serial public masturbation,
witless trolling and boring the other people in Google Groups silly.
It should also be noted that you are a regular and particularly dull
contributor to internet pornography newsgroups. This community cannot
find a single positive thing to say in your favour. You are hereby
sentenced to death."
also known as BLADE, also known as RAZOR, also known as KATE WENZEL,
also known as AMANDA LE BON, also known as AXEL VAN KAMPEN: you are
hereby charged, tried and convicted of serial public masturbation,
witless trolling and boring the other people in Google Groups silly.
It should also be noted that you are a regular and particularly dull
contributor to internet pornography newsgroups. This community cannot
find a single positive thing to say in your favour. You are hereby
sentenced to death."
[Excited, almost erotic gasp of shock from the crowd. VAN KAMPEN
retains look of stupid defiance.]
retains look of stupid defiance.]
BREEN: Ah, thank you, my love. [Takes Glock pistol from Serena]
Awright, you freaking halfwit, stand up.
Awright, you freaking halfwit, stand up.
VOICE FROM CROWD: At least give him a blindfold Breen!
BREEN: What - are you going to lend him yours?
[Silence]
BREEN: I'd ideally like to spend a couple of hours torturing you
first, Van Kampen. But you are so extraordinarily thick and
impervious to any stimulation that I don't think you'd even notice.
first, Van Kampen. But you are so extraordinarily thick and
impervious to any stimulation that I don't think you'd even notice.
VOICE FROM CROWD: Hurry UP, Breen! M*A*S*H starts in fifteen
minutes!
minutes!
BREEN: Okay. Here goes...
[Steps up to Van Kampen, holding pistol in two hands.]
(Photo courtesy of Serena)
Left: AXEL VAN KAMPEN, Right: MORRISSEY BREEN
Left: AXEL VAN KAMPEN, Right: MORRISSEY BREEN
..............................
In the interests of good taste, we draw a discreet veil on events
following the above scene.
following the above scene.
Click here to Reply
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> snipped utter madness
ok.... ummm.... what the hell was that?
Bryan Ray
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"Bryan Ray" <osdurand...@hotmail.com
news:vHFwa.155112$M81.64611@
> > snipped utter madness
>
> ok.... ummm.... what the hell was that?
>
> Bryan Ray
>
Reads like a Looney if you aks me ...
Paul
Paul
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"Bryan Ray" <osdurand...@hotmail.com
news:vHFwa.155112$M81.64611@
> > snipped utter madness
>
> ok.... ummm.... what the hell was that?
>
> ok.... ummm.... what the hell was that?
One idiot having an imaginary conversation with another.
Later
Sean
Sean
>
> Bryan Ray
>
>
>
>
> Bryan Ray
>
>
>
>
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On 14 May 2003 22:10:28 -0700, morriss...@yahoo.com (Morrissey
Breen) wrote:
Breen) wrote:
'The rabid rantings of a delusional openly gay Australian.'
Why waste your time trying to 'express yourself' with this crap? No
one fucking reads it, you're just clogging up the bandwidth with your
crappy try hard burbling and forcing people to waste an extra
nanosecond downloading an extra load of total bollocks. Why don't you
just piss of now and save us the time.
one fucking reads it, you're just clogging up the bandwidth with your
crappy try hard burbling and forcing people to waste an extra
nanosecond downloading an extra load of total bollocks. Why don't you
just piss of now and save us the time.
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I understand the technical term is 'shit'
"Bryan Ray" <osdurand...@hotmail.com
news:vHFwa.155112$M81.64611@
news:vHFwa.155112$M81.64611@
> > snipped utter madness
>
> ok.... ummm.... what the hell was that?
>
> Bryan Ray
>
>
>
>
>
> ok.... ummm.... what the hell was that?
>
> Bryan Ray
>
>
>
>
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- show quoted text -
- show quoted text -
Just Mowissey having an imaginary conversation with one of his schizo
personalities.
personalities.
A round of applause (and my sincere comisserations) to anyone who made
it past the third line.
it past the third line.
-- rick boyd
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If this sort of theft continues there'll be no oxygen left for the rest of
us.
us.
"Bunny" <welli...@rabbitohs.com> wrote in message
news:_OJwa.6758$DP4.88514@
news:_OJwa.6758$DP4.88514@
- show quoted text -
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A bewildered "Bryan Ray" <obduratelyd...@
blithered in message
news:<vHFwa.155112$M81....@
> > snipped utter madness
>
> ok.... ummm.... what the hell was that?
blithered in message
news:<vHFwa.155112$M81....@
> > snipped utter madness
>
> ok.... ummm.... what the hell was that?
It was an execution, dumbo.
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"Sean Byrne" <byrne_sean...@hotmail.
- show quoted text -
Yeah, that's what it looks like, Sean. Why on earth would Bryan Ray
and ROCK even bother informing the rest of us that they just don't get
it?
and ROCK even bother informing the rest of us that they just don't get
it?
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"Bunny" <welli...@rabbitohs.com> wrote in message news:<_OJwa.6758$DP4....@
> I understand the technical term is 'shit'
> I understand the technical term is 'shit'
Dullard.
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bo...@comswest.net.au (rick boyd) wrote in message news:<3ec39897...@news.
>
> Just Mowissey having an imaginary conversation with one of his schizo
> personalities.
>
> A round of applause (and my sincere comisserations) to anyone who made
> it past the third line.
>
> Just Mowissey having an imaginary conversation with one of his schizo
> personalities.
>
> A round of applause (and my sincere comisserations) to anyone who made
> it past the third line.
Oh come on wick! You read the whole thing, and so did the others.
You might not like poor lickle moi, but you can't help reading all of
this writer's posts, can you? Now Rick, answer truthfully. You can't
con moi!
You might not like poor lickle moi, but you can't help reading all of
this writer's posts, can you? Now Rick, answer truthfully. You can't
con moi!
<snicker>"anyone who made it past the third line"</snicker>
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Our racist friend Kip <freshlyvomi...@
> On 14 May 2003 22:10:28 -0700, morriss...@yahoo.com (Morrissey
> Breen) wrote:
>
> 'The rabid rantings of a delusional openly gay Australian.'
>
> Why waste your time trying to 'express yourself' with this crap?
>
> No one fucking reads it,
Well... YOU do! I'm sure you hate yourself for doing so.
>
> and forcing people to waste an extra nanosecond downloading an extra load of
> total bollocks.
Aw come on! An extra nano-second here and there is not going to hurt
you! You're just pissed off because you read my post right up to the
execution of that mongrel. Did the picture take ages to download? Is
THAT why you're so worked up?
>
> now and save us the time.
> On 14 May 2003 22:10:28 -0700, morriss...@yahoo.com (Morrissey
> Breen) wrote:
>
> 'The rabid rantings of a delusional openly gay Australian.'
Did you... did you... did you... DID YOU JUST CALL ME AN
AUSTRALIAN?!!??!?!?!?
AUSTRALIAN?!!??!?!?!?
>
> Why waste your time trying to 'express yourself' with this crap?
Idiot. I don't "try" to express myself. I do.
>
> No one fucking reads it,
>
> you're just clogging up the bandwidth with your crappy try hard burbling...
Of COURSE I try hard. That's why you and wick are COMPELLED to read
my posts. I WORK at my writing. May I recommend you do the same with
your writing?
> you're just clogging up the bandwidth with your crappy try hard burbling...
Of COURSE I try hard. That's why you and wick are COMPELLED to read
my posts. I WORK at my writing. May I recommend you do the same with
your writing?
>
> and forcing people to waste an extra nanosecond downloading an extra load of
> total bollocks.
you! You're just pissed off because you read my post right up to the
execution of that mongrel. Did the picture take ages to download? Is
THAT why you're so worked up?
>
>Why don't you just piss of
>Why don't you just piss of
[sic!]
>
> now and save us the time.
No fear!
And if you've got a few spare nanoseconds, you might like to download
the following message delivered personally to your good self from
moi...
the following message delivered personally to your good self from
moi...
|
> they just don't get it?
you're right... so answer the question already, what the hell was that?
Bryan Ray
|
- show quoted text -
Just Mowissey having an imaginary conversation with one of his schizo
personalities.
personalities.
A round of applause (and my sincere comisserations) to anyone who made
it past the third line.
it past the third line.
-- rick boyd
|
I understand the technical term is 'shit'
"Bryan Ray" <osdurand...@hotmail.com
news:vHFwa.155112$M81.64611@
news:vHFwa.155112$M81.64611@
> > snipped utter madness
>
> ok.... ummm.... what the hell was that?
>
> Bryan Ray
>
>
>
>
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"Morrissey Breen" <morriss...@yahoo.com> wrote in
message
news:fb3a0456.0305142110.
> A moron calling himself "Axel Van Kampen" has been posting
really
> stoo-pid, ignorant stuff
So why do you feel so inclined to reciprocate? His is bad -
your is worse.
your is worse.
cheers, MAtt
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"Morrissey Breen" <morriss...@yahoo.com> wrote in message
- show quoted text -
Lollard.
|
"Morrissey Breen" <morriss...@yahoo.com> wrote in message
- show quoted text -
Well, I didn't manage it. I just figured your meds were badly adjusted
again.
again.
|
I understand the technical term is 'shit'
"Bryan Ray" <osdurand...@hotmail.com
news:vHFwa.155112$M81.64611@
news:vHFwa.155112$M81.64611@
> > snipped utter madness
>
> ok.... ummm.... what the hell was that?
>
> Bryan Ray
>
>
>
>
|
"Morrissey Breen" <morriss...@yahoo.com> wrote in message
- show quoted text -
Try 'ard
You know, 'dullard' describes someone without keen perception. Your response
to my post leaves you significantly exposed.
to my post leaves you significantly exposed.
|
After this writer - moi - had taken it upon himself to relieve the
internet community of the baleful presence of the moronic troll Axel
Van Kampen by putting a bullet through his ignorant head, our friend
"Matt Neilson" <matt.n...@
aside for a quiet word in message
news:<hY2xa.9410$AB5.1...@
internet community of the baleful presence of the moronic troll Axel
Van Kampen by putting a bullet through his ignorant head, our friend
"Matt Neilson" <matt.n...@
aside for a quiet word in message
news:<hY2xa.9410$AB5.1...@
>
> So why do you feel so inclined to reciprocate? His is bad -
> your
> So why do you feel so inclined to reciprocate? His is bad -
> your
[sic!]
>
> is worse.
>
> cheers, MAtt
> is worse.
>
> cheers, MAtt
I execute someone who had to be executed - and this is the thanks I
get. I'll bet you were in that baying mob at the actual event. I
know Rick Boyd was...
get. I'll bet you were in that baying mob at the actual event. I
know Rick Boyd was...
|
"Tim Scrivens" <scrive...@invalidxtra.co.
******************************
THE EXECUTION OF AXEL VAN KAMPEN (READER'S DIGEST VERSION)
- show quoted text -
You didn't manage it, Mr Scrivens? Okay, just for you:
******************************
THE EXECUTION OF AXEL VAN KAMPEN (READER'S DIGEST VERSION)
Mob gathers. Breen speaks. Crowd grows restless. Rick Boyd yells
abuse. Breen tells gorgeous, dark-haired Serena to fetch Glock pistol
from car, tells crowd to step back and Van Kampen to step forward.
Thread prosecutor reads indictments against Van Kampen, passes death
sentence. Breen shoots Van Kampen once in side of head, thus
liberating board from presence of complete and utter moron for rest of
recorded time.
******************************
abuse. Breen tells gorgeous, dark-haired Serena to fetch Glock pistol
from car, tells crowd to step back and Van Kampen to step forward.
Thread prosecutor reads indictments against Van Kampen, passes death
sentence. Breen shoots Van Kampen once in side of head, thus
liberating board from presence of complete and utter moron for rest of
recorded time.
******************************
|
"Bunny" <welli...@rabbitohs.com> wrote in message news:<_kdxa.27$7I4...@news-
> "Morrissey Breen" <morriss...@yahoo.com> wrote in message
> news:fb3a0456.0305151734.
> > "Bunny" <welli...@rabbitohs.com> wrote in message
> news:<_OJwa.6758$DP4....@
> > > I understand the technical term is 'shit'
> >
> > Dullard.
>
> Try 'ard
>
> You know, 'dullard' describes someone without keen perception.
> "Morrissey Breen" <morriss...@yahoo.com> wrote in message
> news:fb3a0456.0305151734.
> > "Bunny" <welli...@rabbitohs.com> wrote in message
> news:<_OJwa.6758$DP4....@
> > > I understand the technical term is 'shit'
> >
> > Dullard.
>
> Try 'ard
>
> You know, 'dullard' describes someone without keen perception.
<icy>Exactly. Which is why I chose it. </icy>
>
> Your response to my post leaves you significantly exposed.
> Your response to my post leaves you significantly exposed.
Oh? Exposed to what? Another post from you telling us how confused you are?
|
Some dork with a name that's a cross between a broken-arsed Pommie singer of
the 80s and a new household cleaning product dribbled some absolute crap.
You must be the wit in the ruggeroid newsgroup.
--
Sharknimflt
the 80s and a new household cleaning product dribbled some absolute crap.
You must be the wit in the ruggeroid newsgroup.
--
Sharknimflt
|
"Morrissey Breen" <morriss...@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:fb3a0456.0305161824.
> "Bunny" <welli...@rabbitohs.com> wrote in message
news:<_kdxa.27$7I4...@news-
> > "Morrissey Breen" <morriss...@yahoo.com> wrote in message
> > news:fb3a0456.0305151734.
> > > "Bunny" <welli...@rabbitohs.com> wrote in message
> > news:<_OJwa.6758$DP4....@
> > > > I understand the technical term is 'shit'
> > >
> > > Dullard.
> >
> > Try 'ard
> >
> > You know, 'dullard' describes someone without keen perception.
>
> <icy>Exactly. Which is why I chose it. </icy>
>
> >
> > Your response to my post leaves you significantly exposed.
>
> Oh? Exposed to what? Another post from you telling us how confused you
are?
Here we go......YAWN.
Dullard describes (try hard to let this penetrate the granite between your
ears) someone without keen perception. An example of this may be someone who
reads a post in a newsgroup, accepts it's literal meaning without being able
to see beyond that level of thought. This is what you have done with my
initial post. Therefore, you, my unlearned friend, are a dullard. I hope
this has clarified things for you. Beyond this I shall not respond to your
troll.
ears) someone without keen perception. An example of this may be someone who
reads a post in a newsgroup, accepts it's literal meaning without being able
to see beyond that level of thought. This is what you have done with my
initial post. Therefore, you, my unlearned friend, are a dullard. I hope
this has clarified things for you. Beyond this I shall not respond to your
troll.
I wonder where you got your nickname from? The 'Morrissey' bit I understand.
You obviously have chosen to identify yourself with the tragically
fashionable and unhappy homosexual singer of the Smiths. The Breen confuses
me though. Perhaps it's rhyming slang for Mr Sheen? After all, I feel
certain that you love to give things, especially those with a bell end, a
good polish.
You obviously have chosen to identify yourself with the tragically
fashionable and unhappy homosexual singer of the Smiths. The Breen confuses
me though. Perhaps it's rhyming slang for Mr Sheen? After all, I feel
certain that you love to give things, especially those with a bell end, a
good polish.
|
- show quoted text -
|
"Morrissey Breen" <morriss...@yahoo.com> wrote in message
> "Tim Scrivens" <scrive...@invalidxtra.co.
news:<Ke3xa.2229$3t6....@
> > "Morrissey Breen" <morriss...@yahoo.com> wrote in message
> > > bo...@comswest.net.au (rick boyd) wrote in message
> > news:<3ec39897...@news.
> > > >
> > > > Just Mowissey having an imaginary conversation with one of his
schizo
> > > > personalities.
> > > >
> > > > A round of applause (and my sincere comisserations) to anyone who
made
> > > > it past the third line.
> > >
> > > Oh come on wick! You read the whole thing, and so did the others.
> > > You might not like poor lickle moi, but you can't help reading all of
> > > this writer's posts, can you? Now Rick, answer truthfully. You can't
> > > con moi!
> > >
> > > <snicker>"anyone who made it past the third line"</snicker>
> >
> > Well, I didn't manage it. I just figured your meds were badly adjusted
again.
>
> You didn't manage it, Mr Scrivens? Okay, just for you:
I'm sorry, something must have given you the impression that I WANTED to
read it.
read it.
That was erroneous.
|
"Morrissey Breen" <morriss...@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:fb3a0456.0305161824.
> "Bunny" <welli...@rabbitohs.com> wrote in message
news:<_kdxa.27$7I4...@news-> "Bunny" <welli...@rabbitohs.com> wrote in message
> > "Morrissey Breen" <morriss...@yahoo.com> wrote in message
- show quoted text -
|
- show quoted text -
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- show quoted text -
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- show quoted text -
|
Did you forget to take your meds and you've been hearing voices again?
> A moron calling himself "Axel Van Kampen" has been posting really
> stoo-pid, ignorant stuff on Google Groups lately. This time, merely
> assigning the bore to personal killfiles will not be enough. Tougher
> measures are needed. Therefore, a large group of Google posters has
> gathered to see one of the dumbest bastards in history get his just
> desserts. Yes, the consensus of his peers is that it has become
> necessary to execute Axel Van Kampen. The convenor of this gathering
> is one MORRISSEY BREEN, who has cancelled a liaison with a married
> woman from Perth, W.A. and made a special effort to travel to this
> place of execution, accompanied by his dark-haired companion, the
> gorgeous and bewitching children's nurse, Serena. BREEN now steps
> forward to address the meeting...
>
> BREEN: There's a heart-wrenching moment in John Steinbeck's Of Mice
> and Men, where a poor old, rheumatic, smelly dog is taken out the back
> of the cabin and shot. The build-up to the firing of the gun is very
> effective, the pathetic intensity of the scene heightened by the
> sympathy of the other men for the old man who owns the dog.
>
> [Murmuring. Cries of "How sad!" and "I read that book in school" and
> "Get on with it, you long-winded pile of reeking leper's vomit!" and
> "Hurry up Breen".]
>
> BREEN: But lighten up, guys! I'm about to put another stupid brute
> out of his misery, and I really don't think any of us will have any
> feelings other than joy after THIS execution. You see, I am going to
> euthanase a moron. A blithering, illiterate, offensive, humourless,
> obnoxious, idiotic, whining, friendless, deluded, self-abusing
> numbskull. Okay, step back fellas.
>
> [The spectators take a few steps backward]
>
> BREEN: Not you, Van Kampen!!! You come here. Sit down over there
> and wait. Serena, get my Glock out of the car, my love. It's under
> the driver's seat.
>
> [Turns to address AXEL VAN KAMPEN.]
>
> BREEN: Alright, moron. I am going to get my lead prosecutor Mr
> Richard Edlin, to read the indictment against you first, then I'm
> going to put you out of your misery.
>
> [Thread prosecutor RICHARD EDLIN steps forward, takes out print-out
> from inane Google Groups thread, and reads aloud...]
>
> RICHARD EDLIN: [gravely, with doom-laden authority] "ANTHONY WEBB,
> also known as BLADE, also known as RAZOR, also known as KATE WENZEL,
> also known as AMANDA LE BON, also known as AXEL VAN KAMPEN: you are
> hereby charged, tried and convicted of serial public masturbation,
> witless trolling and boring the other people in Google Groups silly.
> It should also be noted that you are a regular and particularly dull
> contributor to internet pornography newsgroups. This community cannot
> find a single positive thing to say in your favour. You are hereby
> sentenced to death."
>
> [Excited, almost erotic gasp of shock from the crowd. VAN KAMPEN
> retains look of stupid defiance.]
>
> BREEN: Ah, thank you, my love. [Takes Glock pistol from Serena]
> Awright, you freaking halfwit, stand up.
>
> VOICE FROM CROWD: At least give him a blindfold Breen!
>
> BREEN: What - are you going to lend him yours?
>
> [Silence]
>
> BREEN: I'd ideally like to spend a couple of hours torturing you
> first, Van Kampen. But you are so extraordinarily thick and
> impervious to any stimulation that I don't think you'd even notice.
>
> VOICE FROM CROWD: Hurry UP, Breen! M*A*S*H starts in fifteen
> minutes!
>
> BREEN: Okay. Here goes...
>
> [Steps up to Van Kampen, holding pistol in two hands.]
>
> (Photo courtesy of Serena)
> Left: AXEL VAN KAMPEN, Right: MORRISSEY BREEN
>
> http://www.johnny-melville.
>
> ..............................
>
> In the interests of good taste, we draw a discreet veil on events
> following the above scene.
"Morrissey Breen" <morriss...@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:fb3a0456.0305142110.> A moron calling himself "Axel Van Kampen" has been posting really
> stoo-pid, ignorant stuff on Google Groups lately. This time, merely
> assigning the bore to personal killfiles will not be enough. Tougher
> measures are needed. Therefore, a large group of Google posters has
> gathered to see one of the dumbest bastards in history get his just
> desserts. Yes, the consensus of his peers is that it has become
> necessary to execute Axel Van Kampen. The convenor of this gathering
> is one MORRISSEY BREEN, who has cancelled a liaison with a married
> woman from Perth, W.A. and made a special effort to travel to this
> place of execution, accompanied by his dark-haired companion, the
> gorgeous and bewitching children's nurse, Serena. BREEN now steps
> forward to address the meeting...
>
> BREEN: There's a heart-wrenching moment in John Steinbeck's Of Mice
> and Men, where a poor old, rheumatic, smelly dog is taken out the back
> of the cabin and shot. The build-up to the firing of the gun is very
> effective, the pathetic intensity of the scene heightened by the
> sympathy of the other men for the old man who owns the dog.
>
> [Murmuring. Cries of "How sad!" and "I read that book in school" and
> "Get on with it, you long-winded pile of reeking leper's vomit!" and
> "Hurry up Breen".]
>
> BREEN: But lighten up, guys! I'm about to put another stupid brute
> out of his misery, and I really don't think any of us will have any
> feelings other than joy after THIS execution. You see, I am going to
> euthanase a moron. A blithering, illiterate, offensive, humourless,
> obnoxious, idiotic, whining, friendless, deluded, self-abusing
> numbskull. Okay, step back fellas.
>
> [The spectators take a few steps backward]
>
> BREEN: Not you, Van Kampen!!! You come here. Sit down over there
> and wait. Serena, get my Glock out of the car, my love. It's under
> the driver's seat.
>
> [Turns to address AXEL VAN KAMPEN.]
>
> BREEN: Alright, moron. I am going to get my lead prosecutor Mr
> Richard Edlin, to read the indictment against you first, then I'm
> going to put you out of your misery.
>
> [Thread prosecutor RICHARD EDLIN steps forward, takes out print-out
> from inane Google Groups thread, and reads aloud...]
>
> RICHARD EDLIN: [gravely, with doom-laden authority] "ANTHONY WEBB,
> also known as BLADE, also known as RAZOR, also known as KATE WENZEL,
> also known as AMANDA LE BON, also known as AXEL VAN KAMPEN: you are
> hereby charged, tried and convicted of serial public masturbation,
> witless trolling and boring the other people in Google Groups silly.
> It should also be noted that you are a regular and particularly dull
> contributor to internet pornography newsgroups. This community cannot
> find a single positive thing to say in your favour. You are hereby
> sentenced to death."
>
> [Excited, almost erotic gasp of shock from the crowd. VAN KAMPEN
> retains look of stupid defiance.]
>
> BREEN: Ah, thank you, my love. [Takes Glock pistol from Serena]
> Awright, you freaking halfwit, stand up.
>
> VOICE FROM CROWD: At least give him a blindfold Breen!
>
> BREEN: What - are you going to lend him yours?
>
> [Silence]
>
> BREEN: I'd ideally like to spend a couple of hours torturing you
> first, Van Kampen. But you are so extraordinarily thick and
> impervious to any stimulation that I don't think you'd even notice.
>
> VOICE FROM CROWD: Hurry UP, Breen! M*A*S*H starts in fifteen
> minutes!
>
> BREEN: Okay. Here goes...
>
> [Steps up to Van Kampen, holding pistol in two hands.]
>
> (Photo courtesy of Serena)
> Left: AXEL VAN KAMPEN, Right: MORRISSEY BREEN
>
> http://www.johnny-melville.
>
> ..............................
>
> In the interests of good taste, we draw a discreet veil on events
> following the above scene.
|
I give up
"Pollywolly" <polly...@ihug.com.au> wrote in message
news:baa6is$161$1@lust.ihug.
"Pollywolly" <polly...@ihug.com.au> wrote in message
news:baa6is$161$1@lust.ihug.
- show quoted text -
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