Christoffersen: David Bennett? Don't know him
OPINION: I'm Hamilton born and bred.
When you're from this neck of the Kiwi woods, you come complete with a built-in cringe factor.
It's OK. It's normal.
You may even be familiar with it.
There's a sensitivity button buried deep within every Hamiltonian. It's handed out free when you leave Waikato Hospital.
Every time the internal button is pushed, you can feel the Hamilton cringe factor working its way to the face.
It can be pushed by key words.
Chlamydia.
Yep, that's one.
V8.
Yep, that's another.
Nigel Murray
Yep … for sure..
Bob Simcock ... yep, that's another.
Hamilton City Council
Oh hell yeah …
But there's a new one that has been added recently. It's been coming for a while.
It was added last week.
David Bennett.
Yep.
The Honourable Hamilton East MP is fast lining up as another cringe factor hot button for the city.
It all started with a now infamous speech in Parliament.
Yep ... that speech.
For those who missed Bennett's infamous "say it 26 times speech", it's still on YouTube, simply titled "Address in reply debate - Video 26".
It's called that because in a 10-minute speech in Parliament, Bennett used the word "socialism" 26 times and rounded it all out with a death threat.
It was such an embarrassing display, The Spinoff couldn't resist highlighting the classless buffoonery that went into it.
Yes, even The Spinoff got into take-the-piss-out-of-Hamilton mode.
It is funny for all the wrong reasons.
It's not meant to be funny.
He's one of ours.
It's so cringe-worthy, I wonder if anyone in Hamilton still believes Bennett is worth the six-figure parliamentary salary taxpayers are forced to provide for him.
Resident Hamilton city patriot Kelli from the Tron took exception to Bennett's abject political lunacy. Worse, The Standard awarded Bennett Doofus of the Week for "26".
The rest of us see Bennett's pontificating to an empty House for what it is: the worst kind of political sycophantry.
Bennett's grandstanding has gone down as an unfortunate window on the state of Hamilton's political representation.
The Honourable MP even managed to compare Hamilton to North Korea … that says much for the intellectual rigour that went into the "Address in reply debate - Video 26".
Like most other Hamiltonians, including those who voted for him, I don't know David Bennett. All I know is what everyone sees when he's on TV or in print.
Suddenly, from out of Hamilton East, some sense seemed to be coming from Brand Bennett. I saw a column headline with Bennett's name attached encouraging city leaders to stand up for the city's ratepayers.
It is an excellent sentiment, one I endorse and concur with. Leadership is lacking in Hamilton.
I thought maybe Bennett was going to join the chorus of Hamiltonians asking how a council CEO gets paid $8000 a week to oversee a city in financial crisis. Or maybe he might ask why no one, including the city's elected accountants, seem to know how much money there is (or isn't) in city coffers.
Maybe he was going to go all out and offer to sort out the DHB, or maybe he was going to help clean up Wintec's shattered reputation by appointing himself to chair another costly review into Mark Flowers' activities.
Or perhaps Bennett might promote sustainable ideas for a better future for Hamilton after it was crippled by deficient government funding in the health and tertiary sectors during his nine years in Government.
But no ... instead what followed was another poorly constructed political critique of the Government full of the usual "they're bastards and we're saints" puffery.
Still, Bennett might make a go of getting those closet socialists out of his own party if he became leader, which is what all his grandstanding in the House might possibly be about.
At least it would make for an amusing Wellington media scrum each Monday.
So he was at it again last week. It seems he was trying to gain yet more media profile for Brand Bennett during question time in the house.
It all started getting ugly after that supposed comment about the PM being a "stupid little girl".
I'm guessing she's probably a socialist, too.
It was getting uglier still when the Hamilton East MP asked Speaker of the House Trevor Mallard to explain why he should withdraw and apologise for a remark he'd made about another of Mallard's rulings.
"Mr Speaker, what for?" Mr Bennett said with the voice of schoolboy authority…
"I need to know what I did wrong," he said.
Dear oh dear…the Honourable Hamilton East MP got himself all in a tangle and then finally withdrew and apologised, but he still didn't know what for.
It all seemed much political ado about stuff all.
I think from now on, when I'm greeted with the "Ohhh … you're from Hamilton …" comment that pushes my cringe factor button, I'm going to say, "No, no, I'm from Palmy. I'm from Palmerston North."
Anything is better than saying I'm from Hamilton East.
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