THE STORY SO FAR: The long-suffering headmaster of the Public Address Academy, Mr Russell Brown, has made yet another of his notorious misjudgments. This time he has invited the notorious National Party race-baiter Matthew Hooton into the Hard News class to deliver an outrageously insincere speech about how he allegedly feels after the death of Nelson Mandela. The decision to allow Hooton to hijack the show is a controversial one, and causes great anger. However, Mr Brown can always count on a core group of sycophants, bullies and class monitors to obey even his most absurd diktats. So when he instructs the class to “Please be respectful of each other”, this core group of sycophants, bullies and monitors takes it as its duty to “make nice” to Hooton, and pretend that he is genuine, rather than a disgusting impostor. We join the action just as Hooton is starting to deliver his infamous speech…..
MATTHEW HOOTON: Isn’t it a strange, melancholy and nostalgic day? Mandela really was the greatest figure of the 20th century. SEVERAL VOICES: Fuck off, racist!…. He’s a friend of John Ansell, for Chrissakes!… Fuck off, you lying little turd!… SHUSH! He’s starting to speak… HOOTON: In the way I view the world, being a child of the 1980s, he was alongside Reagan, Thatcher and Gorbachev in the sense of bringing tyranny to an end. OUTRAGE AND UPROAR FROM CLASS: What the FUCK!!!?!?!!?…. W-w-w-what did that smirking, smarmy prick just say?!!???!
MR BROWN:[apoplectic, veins throbbing in forehead, beard twitching] I have repeatedly asked everyone here to show good faith and respect. If you can’t do that, please leave the discussion!
Thus temporarily suppressed, the dissenters in the class subside into either a resentful silence or uttering sotto voce wisecracks. For the next few minutes, MATTHEW HOOTON is free to say whatever he likes, and to bask in the praise of the bewildered, the drug-impaired and the sanctimonious….
HOOTON: But he stood so much further above them because he personally had been persecuted and imprisoned, and yet he forgave. RICHARD ASTON:[perfervidly] There is a hole in the fabric of things where Mandala once was.
….That bizarre contribution elicits a burst of snickering, snorting and tittering, even from the most sanctimonious git in the room, CRAIG RANAPIA. Mr Brown enters a memo into his PalmPilot: “Set drug dogs onto Aston ASAP.”….
MORRISSEY BREEN:[sotto voce] What the FUCK is Aston smoking? HOOTON: If it means anything as a 9 year old, I suppose I was pro-tour but I also remember being very impressed with the bravery of those who stood on the field in Hamilton, and watching all that unfold on television. MORRISSEY BREEN:[sotto voce] Bu-u-u-u-u-ulllll-SHIT. SIMON G:[warmly] This is a very nice speech, Matthew. HOOTON: In retrospect, I think the very conservatism of the white population helped with the transition to democracy – these old school lads were taught to respect their state president no matter who he was.
….Much nodding of heads, and several cries of affirmation: “Good point”…”Yes it was the WHITES who freed South Africa.”…. “I hadn’t thought of that before, Matthew” …. “He’s from the LIBERAL part of the National Party isn’t he!”… “I don’t trust him.”…. “Shush, don’t be negative TODAY OF ALL DAYS!!”…”I don’t trust him”…. “Neither do I”…” He’s a notorious liar”…”Shush! This is not the time for that sort of talk!”…”Sorry Craig”…”Sorry Craig, I’ll shut up now”….
HOOTON: His wonderful book, Long Walk to Freedom, and other accounts of his life, show he was not some sort of innocent saint but a hard-nosed pol. He was the sort of leader who would think about what suit to wear when leaving prison. Mandela was a guy who would do attack ads with the best (or worst!) of them. To me, that is much better than being a mere saint. But whatever it is to be a saint, he was also one of them. DRIPPY “LIBERAL”: Thanks, Matthew! You’ve nailed it! HOOTON:[with a show of sincerity and humility] Sorry for talking so long. I hope Mr Brown doesn’t mind. I am not sure why I have wanted to bash all this out. Or why Public Address seems the right place to say it. MARK THOMAS: Great speech Matthew. Thanks. ADAM POPE Thanks Matthew for having the courage to say that. Public Address was absolutely the right place to say it. PAUL WILLIAMS: Thanks Matthew. I’m glad of this opportunity for us to display our grief. I also have a profound sense of loss today. SIMON G: I think one of Mandela’s remarkable achievements was the number of minds he changed – not just official stances for public consumption, not just the re-writing of history, but people genuinely “getting it”. Yes, it can be done. DRIPPY “LIBERALS” AND SYCOPHANTS: Yeah, RIGHT ON. Matthew’s changed his mind, he really has!…. He’s a GENUINE GUY, he really is! …. Oh yes…. It’s the new, caring, sharing right wing…. HEBE: For Nelson Mandela, today we’ll let you in the club Matthew. I was going to write more later but I won’t: you’ve said much of it, and eloquently.
.…And then, as suddenly as it was imposed, the enforced silencing of dissent disappears. One of the more astute members of the class has not been at all impressed by Hooton’s vaudeville display of mock sincerity….
WILLIAM BLAKE: Only Matthew Hooton could use Mandelas’ death to give respect toReagan, Thatcher and de Klerk. MR BROWN:[scowling] I did ask you to show respect for each other. HOOTON:[sneering] You really have missed the point. TONY J RICKETS: I guess one of the things about him is the way he brings out the best in people (de Klerk, Bolger, Matthew for example). Some folks just do that.
The head prefect and class bully quickly moves to seize back control….
CRAIG RANAPIA:[sanctimoniously] You know what, William, I know a lot of expat South Africans who were absolutely convinced that apartheid’s end was inevitable – in an unspeakably brutal civil war. Everyone who played a part in avoiding what would have been a humanitarian disaster deserves our gratitude. And a little of Mandela’s grace. DRIPPY “LIBERALS”, NINNIES AND SYCOPHANTS: Yeah! …. Everyone played a part, especially the white South Africans! …. Yeah! …. Matthew and Craig are so ON TO IT!..And today is NOT THE DAY to argue and to be NEGATIVE!
….Despite the best efforts of head prefect Ranapia and class monitor Rickets, however, the disgust at Hooton’s antics cannot be entirely suppressed…..
KRACKLITE: Oh great, Hooton sees an opportunity to tell us all about how he likes to think of himself. Get over yourself and show some respect Hoots, this isn’t about you. MR BROWN Yeah, it is. It’s a place where people share their experience. That’s the heartbeat of it. SACHA:[glowering at KRACKLITE with a look that could split a rock] Not called for. You can do better.
If only you’d actually been part of the conversation, eh, rather than bravely reimagining its sequence some time later. Fortunately people can go read it for themselves.
To give some context, it’s rare for any of the post authors at Public Address to ask for particular behaviour from commenters like this instance, and the place self-moderates quite successfully. Like many, I was surprised to see Hooten write a comment there – and like many, criticised aspects of it without invective. As a fellow aspie, I especially didn’t want to see Kracklite/Rhinocrates heading in that direction.
Nothing exceptional there, but whatever blows your skirt up I guess. It’s like reading your regular distortions of Question Time or radio broadcasts, Morrissey. I should just remember to read your writing as drama rather than documentary, and encourage others to do the same.
1.) If only you’d actually been part of the conversation, eh, rather than bravely reimagining its sequence some time later. Errrr, I WAS a part of the conversation. I actually made my debut on Public Address to refute Hooton’s appalling abuse of Russell Brown’s goodwill…. http://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/hard-news-mandela/?p=303247#post303247
2.) Fortunately people can go read it for themselves. Indeed they can. That’s why I have provided a link in both parts of the drama so far.
3.) To give some context, it’s rare for any of the post authors at Public Address to ask for particular behaviour from commenters like this instance, and the place self-moderates quite successfully. Really? So how come Matthew Hooton was free to make the most absurd and provocative statements about Mandela? What “self-moderation” was operating there?
4.) Like many, I was surprised to see Hooten write a comment there – and like many, criticised aspects of it without invective. To call out a hypocrite and a liar is not invective, it is simply rigour and honesty. Kracklite, and several others, commented acerbically and accurately about the bizarreness and untruthfulness of Hooton’s post; they did not employ invective at all.
5.) As a fellow aspie, I especially didn’t want to see Kracklite/Rhinocrates heading in that direction. What? So Kracklite/Rhinocrates is to be forbidden or discouraged from entering into robust debate? Have you (caringly) informed him of this?
6.) Nothing exceptional there, but whatever blows your skirt up I guess. What?
7.) It’s like reading your regular distortions of Question Time or radio broadcasts, Morrissey. Ahhhh, here we are, at the nub of the issue. What’s your problem? The fact I send up Hekia Parata occasionally? My lack of respect for Public Address heroes like Barack Obama? Or the fact I pinned down Chris Trotter for his windy endorsement of Deep South lynch law?
8.) I should just remember to read your writing as drama rather than documentary, and encourage others to do the same. Dramatised documentary in this case. And I don’t think you’re really an astute viewing or listening guide.
“they did not employ invective at all” You may have missed reading Kracklite’s original comments before he edited them.
“What’s your problem?” Misrepresentation of fact is fine in drama. Again, fortunately people can read/watch Question Time or rely on more credible commentators to find out what really happened if they’re not just seeking entertainment.
“And I don’t think you’re really an astute viewing or listening guide.” Hilarious.
“they did not employ invective at all” You may have missed reading Kracklite’s original comments before he edited them. I read Kracklite’s comments. Like anyone with a conscience, he was disgusted by what Hooton was up to, and genuinely concerned that Russell Brown did not seem to appreciate just how foolish Hooton was making him look. To challenge a cynical impostor like that needs firm and unequivocal language—but Kracklite did not use invective. If you want to experience invective in all its ugliness and mindlessness, go and visit the sites of some of Hooton’s close friends—like John Ansell.
“What’s your problem?” Misrepresentation of fact is fine in drama. No it’s not. It’s no more acceptable in a third-rate movie like Argo or that recent hatchet job on Julian Assange (the Benedict Blunderpatch vehicle that tanked at the box office) than it is on the lips of a politician or a cynical pollster.
Again, fortunately people can read/watch Question Time or rely on more credible commentators to find out what really happened if they’re not just seeking entertainment. “More credible commentators”—like Matthew Hooton or Fran O’Sullivan or John Armstrong or Colin Espiner or Chris Trotter? My honesty and integrity is better than any of theirs, and you know it. And what on earth is your obsession with Question Time? I have hardly ever even mentioned it, leave alone transcribed it; that’s because Parliament’s stenographers do the job for me.
“And I don’t think you’re really an astute viewing or listening guide.” Hilarious. Actually, the standard of your commentary is the very opposite of hilarious.
As a fellow aspie, I especially didn’t want to see Kracklite/Rhinocrates heading in that direction.
Sorry Sacha, I have a great deal of affection and respect for you, but I’m also a Scot and I don’t need your husbandry. In short: do NOT patronise me.
That anthropomorphic oil slick Hooton can gild his tongue all he likes, but he shouldn’t be welcomed purely for that alone. “Good manners” are only superficial and often deceptive, so it’s idiotic to think that their simulation is synonymous with “good faith”. I am amazed that people are taken in by that bullshit and I would be ashamed to associate with fools who think mere puppetry means something more.
I also find it rather odd that Craig Ranapia’s frequent use of obscenity and abuse of people who disagree with him is taken so lightly. His claim that PA was a “safe” place when so many had commented that they found his behaviour intimidating – as it is intended to be – is rather… “odd”.
Actually, “hypocritical” is a word I would use, a quality he shows in abundance when accusing others of the same.
As for my increasing estrangement from Public Address: Hard News, it is something that stirs me more to sorrow than anger.
Rhinocrates/Kracklite, I hope you enjoyed your brief speaking part at the end of Part 2. Along with this writer (i.e., moi), Craig Ranapia, and the increasingly tense and harried Mr Brown, you’ll feature more prominently in Part 3, which is coming soon….
By the way: I can think of no better description of our friend Hooton than “anthropomorphic oil slick”. Brilliant stuff!—although Sacha will not be happy that you’re “going down that road”.
– “There’s no place in the world that we could make these sequels more cost effectively,” says producer Jon Landau. It is neither the archipelago’s volcanoes nor its glaciers that are attractive, because the Avatar movies will be shot indoors. Sure, Peter Jackson’s award-winning special effects infrastructure is there, but the deciding factor was the money. “We looked at other places,” says Landau. But in the end, “it was this rebate.”
Part 2 of 3
SEVERAL VOICES: Fuck off, racist!…. He’s a friend of John Ansell, for Chrissakes!… Fuck off, you lying little turd!… SHUSH! He’s starting to speak…
HOOTON: In the way I view the world, being a child of the 1980s, he was alongside Reagan, Thatcher and Gorbachev in the sense of bringing tyranny to an end.
OUTRAGE AND UPROAR FROM CLASS: What the FUCK!!!?!?!!?…. W-w-w-what did that smirking, smarmy prick just say?!!???!
RICHARD ASTON: [perfervidly] There is a hole in the fabric of things where Mandala once was.
HOOTON: If it means anything as a 9 year old, I suppose I was pro-tour but I also remember being very impressed with the bravery of those who stood on the field in Hamilton, and watching all that unfold on television.
MORRISSEY BREEN: [sotto voce] Bu-u-u-u-u-ulllll-SHIT.
SIMON G: [warmly] This is a very nice speech, Matthew.
HOOTON: In retrospect, I think the very conservatism of the white population helped with the transition to democracy – these old school lads were taught to respect their state president no matter who he was.
DRIPPY “LIBERAL”: Thanks, Matthew! You’ve nailed it!
HOOTON: [with a show of sincerity and humility] Sorry for talking so long. I hope Mr Brown doesn’t mind. I am not sure why I have wanted to bash all this out. Or why Public Address seems the right place to say it.
MARK THOMAS: Great speech Matthew. Thanks.
ADAM POPE Thanks Matthew for having the courage to say that. Public Address was absolutely the right place to say it.
PAUL WILLIAMS: Thanks Matthew. I’m glad of this opportunity for us to display our grief. I also have a profound sense of loss today.
SIMON G: I think one of Mandela’s remarkable achievements was the number of minds he changed – not just official stances for public consumption, not just the re-writing of history, but people genuinely “getting it”. Yes, it can be done.
DRIPPY “LIBERALS” AND SYCOPHANTS: Yeah, RIGHT ON. Matthew’s changed his mind, he really has!…. He’s a GENUINE GUY, he really is! …. Oh yes…. It’s the new, caring, sharing right wing….
HEBE: For Nelson Mandela, today we’ll let you in the club Matthew. I was going to write more later but I won’t: you’ve said much of it, and eloquently.
MR BROWN: [scowling] I did ask you to show respect for each other.
HOOTON: [sneering] You really have missed the point.
TONY J RICKETS: I guess one of the things about him is the way he brings out the best in people (de Klerk, Bolger, Matthew for example). Some folks just do that.
DRIPPY “LIBERALS”, NINNIES AND SYCOPHANTS: Yeah! …. Everyone played a part, especially the white South Africans! …. Yeah! …. Matthew and Craig are so ON TO IT!..And today is NOT THE DAY to argue and to be NEGATIVE!
MR BROWN Yeah, it is. It’s a place where people share their experience. That’s the heartbeat of it.
SACHA: [glowering at KRACKLITE with a look that could split a rock] Not called for. You can do better.
http://publicaddress.net/hardnews/mandela/
To be continued…..
Errrr, I WAS a part of the conversation. I actually made my debut on Public Address to refute Hooton’s appalling abuse of Russell Brown’s goodwill….
http://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/hard-news-mandela/?p=303247#post303247
Indeed they can. That’s why I have provided a link in both parts of the drama so far.
Really? So how come Matthew Hooton was free to make the most absurd and provocative statements about Mandela? What “self-moderation” was operating there?
To call out a hypocrite and a liar is not invective, it is simply rigour and honesty. Kracklite, and several others, commented acerbically and accurately about the bizarreness and untruthfulness of Hooton’s post; they did not employ invective at all.
What? So Kracklite/Rhinocrates is to be forbidden or discouraged from entering into robust debate? Have you (caringly) informed him of this?
What?
Ahhhh, here we are, at the nub of the issue. What’s your problem? The fact I send up Hekia Parata occasionally? My lack of respect for Public Address heroes like Barack Obama? Or the fact I pinned down Chris Trotter for his windy endorsement of Deep South lynch law?
Dramatised documentary in this case. And I don’t think you’re really an astute viewing or listening guide.
You may have missed reading Kracklite’s original comments before he edited them.
Misrepresentation of fact is fine in drama. Again, fortunately people can read/watch Question Time or rely on more credible commentators to find out what really happened if they’re not just seeking entertainment.
Hilarious.
You may have missed reading Kracklite’s original comments before he edited them.
I read Kracklite’s comments. Like anyone with a conscience, he was disgusted by what Hooton was up to, and genuinely concerned that Russell Brown did not seem to appreciate just how foolish Hooton was making him look. To challenge a cynical impostor like that needs firm and unequivocal language—but Kracklite did not use invective. If you want to experience invective in all its ugliness and mindlessness, go and visit the sites of some of Hooton’s close friends—like John Ansell.
Misrepresentation of fact is fine in drama.
No it’s not. It’s no more acceptable in a third-rate movie like Argo or that recent hatchet job on Julian Assange (the Benedict Blunderpatch vehicle that tanked at the box office) than it is on the lips of a politician or a cynical pollster.
“More credible commentators”—like Matthew Hooton or Fran O’Sullivan or John Armstrong or Colin Espiner or Chris Trotter? My honesty and integrity is better than any of theirs, and you know it. And what on earth is your obsession with Question Time? I have hardly ever even mentioned it, leave alone transcribed it; that’s because Parliament’s stenographers do the job for me.
Hilarious.
Actually, the standard of your commentary is the very opposite of hilarious.