Sunday 7 July 2019

N.Z. "liberals" highly amused by Assange's suffering (Jul. 8, 2019)

greywarshark15
Melzer has recently transformed the debate around 2019 Nobel Peace Prize Nominee Julian Assange’s situation by formally finding that Assange is a victim of state-sponsored (and publicly perpetuated) psychological torture.
Suzie Dawson has tested the sincerity of Assange's attackers.

  • Morrissey15.1
    His state-sponsored persecution and torture have occasioned great mirth from some "liberals" in New Zealand…..
    ZOE FERGUSON: It’s Nelson Mandela’s birthday!
    NOELLE McCARTHY: Yes it I-I-I-I-I-IS!
    ZOE FERGUSON: And he shares his birthday with Hunter S. Thompson and Vin Diesel!
    CHRIS TROTTER: [indulgently] Ho ho ho ho!
    NOELLE McCARTHY: Well happy BIRTHDAY to Madiba!
    …..[General murmurings of assent.]…..
    NOELLE McCARTHY: And there’s a new movie out about Julian Assange?
    ZOE FERGUSON: Yes, The Fifth Estate. It stars Benedict Cumberpatch!
    NOELLE McCARTHY: And how’s his Australian accent?
    ZOE FERGUSON: Actually, it’s not bad! Here, have a listen….
    A short clip plays, of Benedict Cumberpatch as Assange saying: “Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. But if you give him a mask, he will tell you the truth.
    …..[Short but significant silence in the studio.]
    NOELLE McCARTHY: That wasn’t too bad, actually.
    CHRIS TROTTER: Of course, a top rate actor like Benedict Cumberpatch was always going to be able to manage an Aussie accent.
    LISA SCOTT: Mmmmm, mmmmm.
    NOELLE McCARTHY: Yes indeed.
    ZOE FERGUSON: Of course Assange says the movie is “propaganda and lies”. He he he!
    LISA SCOTT: Ha ha ha ha ha!
    NOELLE McCARTHY: Ha ha ha ha ha!
    CHRIS TROTTER: Ho ho ho ho ho! He WOULD! Ho ho ho ho!
    …..[Awkward silence]….
    It's not only wishy-washy "liberals" who are amused at Assange's plight. Our most infamous right wing fashionista and a brutal old cop have rarely found anything so funny as the thought of a political dissenter suffering….
    JIM MORA: I like pockets, but there was a trend away from pockets, wasn’t there, and for a while you couldn’t buy a shirt with a pocket in it.
    DENISE L’ESTRANGE-CORBET: I LIKE pockets!
    MORA: Yep. I like pockets.
    DENISE L’ESTRANGE-CORBET: I think they’ve been treated quite badly, pockets.
    GRAHAM BELL: Modern shirts, you’ve got nowhere to put your pens.
    ….[A long pause, then on to the next topic. They maintain the same light-hearted tone, but this time it’s for something altogether more serious. Like fearful, obedient commissars in Maoist China, these people know the correct stance to take towards an officially designated target]….
    JIM MORA: Now, Julian Assange on the catwalk.
    DENISE L’ESTRANGE-CORBET: [highly amused] Yes!
    MORA: How’s he going to manage this?
    ZARA POTTS: Well, it hasn’t stopped him, his asylum claim hasn’t stopped him from doing all sorts of things. Even last week he opened rapper MIA’s New York concert with a ten minute Skype chat, so he’s pretty busy.
    DENISE L’ESTRANGE-CORBET: I thought he couldn’t leave though.
    ZARA POTTS: He does it all on his computer.
    DENISE L’ESTRANGE-CORBET: Oh, right.
    ZARA POTTS: This is Vivienne Westwood’s son Ben, and as part of London Fashion Week, he is going to take the catwalk to Julian Assange in the Ecadorian embassy.
    GRAHAM BELL: [derisive snort] Ha!
    DENISE L’ESTRANGE-CORBET: [querulous tone] Howwwww?
    GRAHAM BELL: Some people will do ANYTHING to get publicity.
    DENISE L’ESTRANGE-CORBET: Ha ha ha ha ha!
    ZARA POTTS: Ha ha ha ha ha! Yes, it’s not because he cuts a particularly dashing figure or wears clothes THAT well. The whole thing is a little bit more political than that. Ben Westwood is saying that he wants Julian Assange in his show so that Assange doesn’t slip into obscurity.
    MORA: There’s not much danger of that though, is there.
    ZARA POTTS: No. He’s wanting to highlight his plight.
    DENISE L’ESTRANGE-CORBET: So he’s going to be modeling the clothes.
    ZARA POTTS: Yes.
    GRAHAM BELL: It’ll be the look for the very OILY character. Hm hm hm hm hm.
    DENISE L’ESTRANGE-CORBET: Yeowww!
    GRAHAM BELL: Hm hm hm hm hm.
    MORA: How do they put a runway into an embassy? It’s basically just a big HOUSE, isn’t it.
    ZARA POTTS: Maybe they’ve got a big hallway. The collection has been influenced by Clint Eastwood’s Western films and also Assange’s “combat beret look”.
    ….[General snickering, snorting and guffawing]….
    ZARA POTTS: And there is also a garment with Julian Assange’s image printed on it. He he he he he!
    DENISE L’ESTRANGE-CORBET: Ha ha ha ha ha!
    GRAHAM BELL: Ho ho ho ho ho! Can’t WAIT!
    MORA: Ha ha ha ha ha!
    ZARA POTTS: The soundtrack is from The Good, The Bad and The Ugly, so that will be something to, uh, see….
    Chris Trotter, that serious-as-fuck bullfrog and poseur, was driven to imitate Speedy Gonzales as he poured ridicule on the government-designated political target….
    SUSAN BALDACCI: Julian Assange is a little bit paranoid.
    MORA: Oh yes? Hur, hur, hur, hur!
    SUSAN BALDACCI: Yeah, he claims that being holed up in the Ecuadorian embassy, he is deprived of his human right of getting enough sun.
    MORA: Is it a human right to get enough sun?
    SUSAN BALDACCI: That’s what he claims! He claims that being not allowed to leave London is violating his “human rights”.
    MORA: Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
    LISA SCOTT: Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
    CHRIS TROTTER: Haw haw haw haw haw!
    SUSAN BALDACCI: He thinks he should be allowed out of his Ecuador embassy hideout to sunbathe.
    MORA: He can get out on the balcony, where he gave that speech!
    LISA SCOTT: Yeah! Ha ha ha ha ha!
    CHRIS TROTTER: Yeah! Ha ha ha ha ha! Or get him a sun lamp! THAT’s what he needs!
    LISA SCOTT: Ha ha ha ha ha!
    SUSAN BALDACCI: He he he he he!
    TROTTER: I suspect the ambassador’s just sick of the sight of him! “Are you ever going to LEEEEAAAVE?”
    MORA: Sun lamp! Get him a sun lamp!!!
    LISA SCOTT: Ha ha ha ha ha!
    MORA: Back after the news!


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