Great Moments in Broadcasting. NOT. No. 3: Kevin Roberts’ performance on TV3 chat show The Panel, late 2001.
Anyone with a taste for the absurd, the creepy and the pretentious should check out the “inspirational” website of Saatchi advertising supremo “Doctor” Kevin Roberts. The man who has, to this writer’s knowledge, never uttered a sentence that is not complete and unmitigated bullshit, offers up, for our edification, the complete list of his public speeches and his exciting, radical and deep personal philosophy, which can be summed up thusly: New Zealand is “on the edge”, and we’re all CRA-A-A-A-A-A-AZY, ma-a-a-a-a-aan, and that’s COOL. That, and something even dopier, about “love brands”.
In 1999, Roberts attracted almost universal condemnation and ridicule by somehow persuading Air New Zealand to have one of its jumbo jets painted with a huge, grotesque, distorted mural of the All Black front row. This mortified, shamed and humiliated the players, angered the All Black coach John Hart, and disgusted the fans. However, Roberts, having clout because of his inordinate influence and power on the NZRFU board, forced it through, and the jet was daubed with the atrocity.
Two years after that, on September 11, 2001, Roberts watched the WTC collapse from the Saatchi offices, in a nearby building. Undaunted by any notions of common sense or legality, he then wrote an open letter to the New York Times urging the governor George Pataki to suspend the law and extend the reign of the criminal, Mafia-connected mayorRudolf Giuliani. Of course, Governor Pataki ignored the inane petition.
Shortly after that embarrassment, Roberts was back in New Zealand, appearing as a guest on the dismal TV3 chat show, The Panel. Even his half-drunken fellow-panelists were visibly shocked by Roberts’ performance that night: putting aside such troublesome notions as restraint, sensitivity or decency, Roberts said this:
“You know what New Zealand should have done after September 11? We should have sent a planeload of soldiers in an Air New Zealand jumbo jet, all dressed in black bomber jackets with a silver fern on them, and taken them to Ground Zero, because we’re good at urban disasters. And they would have danced a haka on the site and then started digging. The WORLD’S MEDIA would have filmed this, and the publicity would have been absolutely PRICELESS.”
At this point, there was utter silence on the set. The usual guffawing and chuckling had stopped. You could truly have heard a pin drop. Every panelist, including the inebriatedPam Corkery, was struck dumb.
Eventually one female panellist spoke up: “Isn’t that…. isn’t that a bit…..cynical?” The normally smiling Roberts mien clouded over wrathfully: “No, it’s not cynical,” he snarled, clearly angry that anyone had had the temerity to question his brilliance. “It would have been a massive gesture of LOVE.”
Read more, if you can bear Kevin Roberts a second longer…
Great Moments in Broadcasting. NOT is an occasional series highlighting some of the worst moments in our pretty shameful history of broadcasting mediocrity and downright failure.
N.B. Loath as I am to advertise anything on TV1, keen Roberts-watchers will be eagerly awaiting tonight’s edition of Sunday at 7 p.m. It is billed thusly: “Advertising guru Kevin Roberts on the scandal that brought him down. Dying prisoner Vicky Letele on how she was really treated in prison.” So that’s two fraudsters in half an hour—good value, kind of.
A look at things to come Nationwide? Or just a precursor to the privatisation of our police force? Either way pretty disturbing stuff going on in our Far North.
“The BID is designed to improve CBD business and amenity through agreed regular improvements to the town’s physical, operational or security infrastructure within the town centre. The BID is a partnership between local government (mainly through regular liaison with the Community Board) and local businesses funded through a quarterly levy, by way of an FNDC targeted rate.
Local businesses within the BID area (or those outside the area who choose to join) contribute an amount of money each year through a proportional system which is determined by BID regulations via their rateable property value. The average BID levy for a Kaitaia CBD business is about $200 per annum; but smaller businesses may only be levied a $100 (or so) rise in rates, larger businesses (such as the JNL mill) have proportionately higher levies.
Projects currently undertaken by the KBA are:
Community Patrol New Zealand – Working in conjunction with the Neighbourhood Policing team Kaitaia to improve the safety and security of our town. There is currently a Community Patrol vehicle which is policing our CBD, with a rotating roster of volunteers; Kaitaia CCTV Cameras and monitoring upgrade – The previous CCTV system funded and installed by the KBA 10 years ago at a cost of $140,000 has become outdated and nearly unusable. The KBA, in partnership the Kaitaia Police, are looking to increase the system’s coverage to eventually include the entire BID area, with upgrades to newer technology, which are anticipated to cost in excess of $250,000.00;
No. 3: Kevin Roberts’ performance on TV3 chat show The Panel, late 2001.
The normally smiling Roberts mien clouded over wrathfully: “No, it’s not cynical,” he snarled, clearly angry that anyone had had the temerity to question his brilliance. “It would have been a massive gesture of LOVE.”
Kaitaia CCTV Cameras and monitoring upgrade – The previous CCTV system funded and installed by the KBA 10 years ago at a cost of $140,000 has become outdated and nearly unusable. The KBA, in partnership the Kaitaia Police, are looking to increase the system’s coverage to eventually include the entire BID area, with upgrades to newer technology, which are anticipated to cost in excess of $250,000.00;