Sunday 31 December 2017

More laughing and sneering at dissidents: inanity rules, as usual, on The Panel (June 26, 2013)

More laughing and sneering at dissidents
Inanity rules, as usual, on The Panel

Radio NZ National, Wednesday 26 June 2013
Jim Mora, Dita De Boni, Chris Wikaira
JIM MORA: All right, it’s Susan Baldacci with what the woooooorld’s talking about! What have you got for us today?
SUSAN BALDACCI: Someone who’s name is on the lips of virtually EVERYBODY is Edward Snowden.
DITA DE BONI: Oh yes? He he he he he!
MORA: Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
SUSAN BALDACCI: Yeeeeeessss, well this guy is the new JETSET TRAVELLER!
MORA: Hur hur hur hur hur!
SUSAN BALDACCI: Well, people have been asking how the heck he DOES it!
DITA DE BONI: Yes! I’ve been asking that!
MORA: He’s like a ghost!
DITA DE BONI: Apparently he didn’t even need a passport to get into Russia!
SUSAN BALDACCI: No, well that’s just it, you see. You only need a passport if the country you are entering DEMANDS one. That’s how so many refugees manage to get into countries after they have destroyed their documents.
DITA DE BONI: What is the advantage for Ecuador in taking this guy?
MORA: Arrrgghh, they’re just thumbing their nose at the world.
SUSAN BALDACCI: Yeah. Otherwise why would they take Julian Assange?
DITA DE BONI: Exactly.
MORA: They’re staking out a position in South America.
DITA DE BONI: Exactly!
MORA: Okay, moving on. You’ve got something about Stephen Fry?
SUSAN BALDACCI: Yes, he has written about how extremely depressed he gets sometimes.
MORA: He always seems, to me, to live a gilded life. He’s erudite, he’s witty, he’s clever, he’s just so admired.
DITA DE BONI: [slowly, to indicate great seriousness] I think he struggles with being gay.
SUSAN BALDACCI: I think he’s a tortured soul.
DITA DE BONI: When he came out, it wasn’t so cool you know? It wasn’t so hip, you know?
….[Awkward silence]….
MORA: Mmmmmkayyy… Okay, Susan Baldacci, what else have you got?
SUSAN BALDACCI: Well, there’s a new survey has found the best places for a tertiary education. They are, number one: CANADA.
MORA: Canada! Hmmmmm.
SUSAN BALDACCI: Number two is ISRAEL.
MORA: Israel, yes.
SUSAN BALDACCI: Japan was third.
MORA: Japan was third?
SUSAN BALDACCI: [clearly irritated] Y-y-y-y-yes. The United States was fourth. And fifth was… NEW ZEALAND! Sixth was South Korea, seventh the U.K., eighth was Australia, and Ireland was next.
….[Stunned silence for several seconds]…..
DITA DE BONI: I am really shocked by that. New Zealand at number FIVE?!!??!?!?
MORA: The Australians are annoyed, aren’t they….
et cetera, et cetera, ad absurdum, ad nauseam….
  • Rogue Trooper22.1
    now, that is very funny Morrissey, but wait, a song hearkens…
    Oh my word, what does it mean 
    won’t you please read my signs, be a Gypsy.
    Love To All On The Left.
  • logie9722.2
    Morrissey. We are so fortunate that we do not have to listen to Newstalkzb, Radio Live, the National Programme from dawn to dusk. We have you. (transcripts and all). Keep up the good work, especially the ever growing listings of liars and deceivers. However, I hope you were able to appreciate that there was fog, drizzle, and occasional sunshine over Auckland today.
    • Te Reo Putake22.2.1
      I hate to have to keep repeating this, but Moz’s efforts are not transcripts. They are his half remembered impressions of what was said. Other than the names, most of what he claims above bears little resemblance to what was actually said, or the tone in which it was said.
      VOR: clearly irritated!
      • Morrissey22.2.1.1
        I hate to have to keep repeating this, but Moz’s efforts are not transcripts.
        I did not haul out the old BASF tape and insert it into the tape-recorder, no. And no, that was not a sexual metaphor.
        They are his half remembered impressions of what was said.
        Anyone who listened to that horrible fifteen minutes of inanity yesterday knows that what I wrote is way, way more than “half remembered.”
        Other than the names, most of what he claims above bears little resemblance to what was actually said, or the tone in which it was said.
        I challenge anyone to dispute seriously that the characters in my little horror script are not simulacra of the principals involved in yesterday’s Panel pre-show segment. Any listener who persevered with listening to them will attest that Dita De Boni really was that shallow, that Susan Baldacci really was that disgusting, and that Jim Mora really was, as always, that special mix of avuncular, cowardly, frivolous, insincere and superficial.
    • Morrissey22.2.2
      Keep up the good work, especially the ever growing listings of liars and deceivers.
      Sadly, Liars of Our Time is a series which seems to have no prospect of ending any time soon. Watch out also for: Dum Quote of the WeekHall of HogwashHumbug CornerLuvvies on the LooseThe Ouch! FileThe Subservience IndexWeasel WatchWimp Walloping andYeah Right.
      However, I hope you were able to appreciate that there was fog, drizzle, and occasional sunshine over Auckland today.
      That transcript—or, as our friend Te Reo Putake reminds us, that “impression”—was done quickly, by hand, then typed up in a fever. That was the only time I listened to the radio all afternoon. Similarly, I don’t watch much TV, although it might seem like it sometimes.

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