The Lauer Roast jokes will turn your stomach (Dec. 7, 2017)

The Jokes Made at a 2008 'Secret' Matt Lauer Roast Will Turn Your Stomach

By Abby Gardner

December 7, 2017

New York Daily News Archive/Getty Images

As former Today show cohost Matt Lauer reportedly hides out in the Hamptons, the media is having quite the time digging up public and private moments from his past that illustrate that his improper behavior has been going on for long time. Of course there's the creepy archival Today footage of interviews with actresses like Anne Hathaway and Sandra Bullock. And now there's news of a "secret" roast of Lauer at New York City's Friars Club back in 2008 that is downright disgusting, especially in light of his firing for "sexual misconduct in the workplace."

So roasts are, by nature, fairly raunchy affairs, often filled with off-color jokes. But the reports from the Lauer roast, originally published in the Village Voice and recently resurfaced by the New York Post, are next-level wrong.

Let's set the scene: First of all, you could probably write a term paper that simply analyzes the guest list. The Today team at the time was all there including Al Roker, Meredith Vieira, and Ann Curry. Lauer's former cohost Katie Couric, Today alum Bryant Gumbel, future president Donald Trump, Tom Cruise (who once had a famously tense on-air moment with Lauer), Bob Saget, Martha Stewart, and then chairman of NBC Universal Jeff Zucker were all in the room. Oh, and Nancy O'Dell. Yes, the Nancy O'Dell who Trump is talking about when he says he "moved on her like a bitch" in the infamous Access Hollywood tape. Now, that's a room filled with many headline-making names in the latest wave of harassment scandals.

And then there are the "jokes." Some of these are hard to read, so beware. Cameras and recorders were banned from the event, but aVillage Voice reporter was said to have taken copious notes under a table. Ann Curry, with whom Lauer reportedly had a contentious relationship, was the butt of many jokes, including one reportedly from the man of "honor" himself: "What’s with all the small-d— jokes? It was fun to look over and see Ann Curry laughing…like she doesn’t know how big my d— really is."

I barely have words—but it just gets worse. Martha Stewart is reported to have said, "I hear NBC executives call Matt the ‘Cock of the Rock.'” Does that sound like somebody who executives should have been "shocked" to find out was inappropriate at the office? Zucker, Lauer's boss at one time, has said he knew nothing of Lauer's behavior but allegedly said this at the 2008 roast: “It’s just good to see Matt up here and not under my desk. I don’t want to say Matt's a germophobe, but he’s the only guy I know who uses Purell both before and after he masturbates.” You know what else was under his desk? A button that allowed him to lock the door without getting up.

It's all nefarious AF and makes it very hard to fathom that nobody knew what was going on at 30 Rock. One media executive who had attended told the Post, "This was a comedic roast, but there was clearly a vein of truth running through all those jokes. You had Katie Couric, Meredith Vieira, and Jeff Zucker all standing up there joking about his sex in the office, his kinkiness. They all knew.”