This old bloke is driving along in Mt Albert one Saturday evening when, all of a sudden, he sees this young nun walking on the road up ahead. Dude stops his car and says, “Sister, can I help you?”
She says, “Why yes, my son, bless you,” and with that she hops into the old bloke’s car. After a while the nun notices that the old fellow seems nervous, jumpy, unsettled. She asks him what the trouble is.
Old dude replies, “Well, Sister, I, I… no, I can’t tell you!”
The nun says, “Son, you must. You can not hold secrets inside, it will destroy your soul.”
So the old guy begins, “I’m sorry, Sister, but ever since I was a youth, I’ve always had this fantasy about fu— … well, about … making love with a nun.”
Nun says, “Tell me about that fantasy, my son.”
Old dude continues, “Well, I’m alone with this nun in the front seat of my car and she leans down and, and…”
“Yes, my son?”
“And she… she… well, she, she… she…”
“She … ‘blows your mind’, so to speak?”
“I’m sorry, Sister.”
The nun gasps, “Good Lord! My son, you must not go through life harbouring such sinful thoughts. You might as well get it over with and then go to confession. Let’s see, pull off the road up ahead, by that mosque.”
Old dude stops his car, pronto.
The nun says, “I just have two requirements, my son. One, that you be single. Two, that you be Catholic. And three, that you tell me your name.”
Old dude is suddenly panting like a bloodhound, coming on like an utter galoot: “Yes, yes, Sister. I’m single, I’m Catholic, and my name is, errrrrr…. David Garrett.”
The nun nods her head, “All right then, David.” She reaches over and unzips him and, unbelievably, proceeds to “blow his mind.” . . . . Afterwards the old man says, “Sister, I’m so ashamed. I have a confession to make. One, I’m not single, I’m married! Two, I’m not Catholic, I’m a lapsed Presbyterian. And three, my name is not David Garrett, it’s KEITH, and I post on Kiwiblog as ‘Captain Mainwaring’.”
And the nun says, “That’s okay — I’m not really a Nun… I’m on my way to a fancy dress party. And by the way, my name is Stephieboy.”
Paulus Gnome
Yeah, nah.
pentwig
you just don’t have it morris take lessons from holysheet
as an aside, cindy is a joke, so maybe a subject change
waikatogirl
Morrissey
Three downticks. Okay, so Cap’n Mainwaring and Garrett and Stephieboy have voted. I expect nothing other than upticks from the rest of the Kiwiblog fraternity/sorority.
JibberJabber
It`s the way that you tell `em…
sooty
Because it’s you aswell.
Captain Mainwaring
Yay, I’m famous. I’m a character in Morris Moron’s joke.
DigNap15
I’m so glad I hardly ever watch mainstream tv.
The other day I started ti watch a movie. Then they wasted 30 minutes of my life pumping in ads every 5 minutes at the end. F You Tv1 and TV3
DigNap15
Then I watched home selling / renno program about Vancouver houses. It was on Duke or Bravo. And there were ads every 5 minutes from start to end. Made it totally unwatchable
sooty
But you just had to sit there, so you could do a review and save us all, with your thoughts. We all thank you, kind sir! You should be knighted for you public service!
dime
Standard TV is brutal eh!
JibberJabber
Nutflux rools…
secondcumming
RANDOM IMPERTINENT QUESTION…..
Is *Bruce Russell* now the only one worth listening to on 1Zb?
JibberJabber
Fuckin` idiot gets a headline for New Year, how the fuck did we get to this situation where people are proud of their sheer fucking stupidity and the media thinks it`s newsworthy?
Morrissey
The nun says, “Son, you must. You can not hold secrets inside, it will destroy your soul.”
.
.
.
.
Afterwards the old man says, “Sister, I’m so ashamed. I have a confession to make. One, I’m not single, I’m married! Two, I’m not Catholic, I’m a lapsed Presbyterian. And three, my name is not David Garrett, it’s KEITH, and I post on Kiwiblog as ‘Captain Mainwaring’.”
Paulus Gnome
pentwig
take lessons from holysheet
waikatogirl
Morrissey
JibberJabber
sooty
Captain Mainwaring
I’m a character in Morris Moron’s joke.
DigNap15
Then they wasted 30 minutes of my life pumping in ads every 5 minutes at the end.
F You Tv1 and TV3
DigNap15
It was on Duke or Bravo.
And there were ads every 5 minutes from start to end.
Made it totally unwatchable
sooty
We all thank you, kind sir! You should be knighted for you public service!
dime
JibberJabber
secondcumming
JibberJabber
how the fuck did we get to this situation where people are proud of their sheer fucking stupidity and the media thinks it`s newsworthy?