“Auckland victims’ advocate RUTH MONEY is on the program…”
The final episode of The Panel is as obscene and irony-free as ever
RNZ National, Friday 21 December 2018
Jim Mora, Jock Anderson, Ruth Money, Caitlin Cherry
The final episode of The Panel is as obscene and irony-free as ever
RNZ National, Friday 21 December 2018
Jim Mora, Jock Anderson, Ruth Money, Caitlin Cherry
As a special kick in the teeth to listeners, Jim Mora’s producer Caitlin Cherry (herself a nasty piece of work) [1] has procured two nasty right wing guests for the very last show under Mora’s hosting. Ruth Money we’ve looked at already: she’s a protégée of Garth the Knife McSticker and, bizarrely, calls herself a “victims’ advocate.” [2] The other guest is the stridently anti-union, anti-teacher, anti-liberal Jock Anderson. [3] At least Anderson has one saving grace: he’s a genuinely witty fellow, who can make people laugh. And right at this moment (4:41 p.m.) he is delivering a very well thought out Soapbox item about local democracy.
Today featured some of the recurring themes of Mora’s thirteen year tenure:
There was his glib and complacent conservatism: “Jesus is the reason for the season!” he burbled just before the 4 o’clock news, and returned to the topic at 4:45. On innumerable past occasions he has quoted, in high seriousness, the likes of David Brooks and David Farrar.
There was the consultation of a marginally competent “expert”—today, yet again, oneKen Grace, apparently from a “Department of Writing” somewhere, who chuntered on for several minutes about the meaning of “impeccable.”
There was the choice of consciously lightweight and trivial topics, made even more irritating by Mora’s inane parroting of words and phrases that have just been said. This clearly irritated his past producers—especially Noelle McCarthy, Susan Baldacci and Julie Moffett. Today it was Caitlin Cherry who tried, and failed, to hide her exasperation as they brought their intellects to bear on the vital topic of Baby Names.
MORA: Caitlin Cherry, Story of the Day.
CAITLIN CHERRY: So there’s a website called Nameberry, it’s quite a popular one, and it’s predicted the top baby name TRENDS for next year. This is for America, I must note, but, ahhhhmmm, they’re actually starting to adopt names from around the world, nicking names from other cultures, ahhhhmmm, they’ve picked that the Maori name Aroha—
MORA: Ahhhhhh!
CAITLIN CHERRY: —will become popular next year, along with names from Korea, and South America, Indian names, things like Acayshus—
MORA: Acayshus?
CAITLIN CHERRY: [clipped tone] Yes. [significant pause] And um, there’s also going to be, ummm, apparently more three-letter names. They’re very, very popular. Hal, Ida, Jem, I always like the name Jem because it’s the brother in um–
MORA: Gem?
CAITLIN CHERRY: [significant pause] Why am I having a mind blank?
MORA: Would you call your daughter Gem?
CAITLIN CHERRY: Harper Lee’s book, um—
MORA: Oh.
CAITLIN CHERRY: It’s the brother in Harper Lee’s book, Scout after her big brother—
MORA: Oh, J – E – M?
CAITLIN CHERRY: Jem.
MORA: Gotcha!
CAITLIN CHERRY: Yeah. …[clearly rattled, she pauses]…. Um, celebrity surname names are also growing in popularity, so what would YOU suggest that the famous, like if you were going to name your children after people after the surname of a celebrity?
MORA: Paltrow.
RUTH MONEY: Trump.
CAITLIN CHERRY: [mirthlessly] Ah ha! No-o-o-o-o-oo.
MORA: Trump, yeah.
CAITLIN CHERRY: Ah, Beckham—
MORA: Oh, Beckham.
CAITLIN CHERRY: Bowie, Hendrix, Lennon, Monroe
MORA: Oh yeah.
CAITLIN CHERRY: Yeah.
MORA: So they’re all going to come into vo-o-o-o-ogue?
CAITLIN CHERRY: Yep. …ad nauseam….
Just before the 4:30 news Ruth Money took the opportunity to embark on a rant about the fact that “prison is the last resort… especially for these hideous offences…. It’s MADNESS.” Later she averred: “I think we need to get back to HUMANITY…”