Sunday 22 April 2018

Mora and Moffett’s nasty double-act today was like something out of Maoist China. (Mar. 13, 2015)

  2. 13 March 2015 at 5:36 pm
    Mora and Moffett’s nasty double-act today was like something out of Maoist China.
    Lisa Scott’s vacuous laughter played an important role too.
    The Panel, Radio NZ National, Friday 13 March 2015, 3:45 p.m.
    Jim Mora, Steve McCabe, Lisa Scott, Julie Moffett
    Regular sufferers of this dismal chat show will probably have gritted their teeth listening to Lisa Scott before. She never has much to say, but she is adept at laughing supportively—no matter how depraved the discussion gets….
    Today, she was even more inane and giggly than normal. But her empty-headed snorting was important to offset the nasty political smearing that the host and his producer were engaged in….
    JIM MORA: What the World is Talking About with Julie Moffett shortly. WHERE ARE OUR UNIVERSITIES on the latest reputation rankings? Good question. The sexism of opening doors for women. More bad news about smoking weed when you are young; you end up with part of your brain bent. The biggest fish ever bent by a rod! Ever caught by rod. The new stand-alone Star Wars film gets a title. To what extent nutrition can prevent dementia: new findings. And what we’d call products if we named them literally. On the Panel today, Lisa Scott. How would you BE, Lisa?
    LISA SCOTT: Really incredibly caffeinated. Ha! How are YOU?
    MORA: You’re highly caffeinated as you join us!
    LISA SCOTT: Highly! I could be toxic. Don’t draw my blood at any stage, Jim!
    MORA: And Steve McCabe, who’s usually here at this juncture, but not today. The possibilities with Cyclone Pam, ahhhh, Terry Pratchett’s thoughts on aging, the subject is revived of the effects on the young of music videos, especially violence in music vids, and, errr, who’s saluting as we run the new ideas for our national symbol up the flag-pole? With Lisa and Steve, after four. ….
    For a couple of minutes, he reads out some listeners’ correspondence about homeopathy, which was discussed yesterday, then a poem and a letter about the Titirangi kauri controversy. Lisa Scott giggles winsomely several times….
    MORA: But it’s ten to four, and Julie, I think we’d better unleash your stories.
    JULIE MOFFETT: Well, THIS one has got Russia’s internet abuzz. People are questioning: is Vladimir Putin DEAD?
    LISA SCOTT: A ha ha!
    MORA: How long since he’s been sighted?
    JULIE MOFFETT: It’s been eight days.
    MORA: Has it really?
    JULIE MOFFETT: Eight days now! And the last time he was seen—I think this could be a clue!—the last time he was seen was with a group of women at the Kremlin on March the eighth—
    LISA SCOTT: [snickering] He, he!
    JULIE MOFFETT: That’s not eight days, is it?—celebrating International Women’s Day.
    MORA: It’s FIVE days!
    LISA SCOTT: He he!
    MORA: He’s only been missing five days!
    JULIE MOFFETT: Still quite a long time though!
    MORA: So the last time he made a public appearance was on International Women’s Day.
    LISA SCOTT: He he! They knocked him off! That’s brilliant!
    MORA: A hur hur hur hur hur hur hur!
    JULIE MOFFETT: Possiblyyyyyy… Ah, yeah, apparently there’s a huge stir in, ahh, Russia. Aaahm, “Путин мертв”—“Putin is dead”—is a trending search across Russia.
    LISA SCOTT: He he!
    JULIE MOFFETT: Ahhh, “hashtag Putin is dead” is ex-PLODING on Twitter—
    LISA SCOTT: He he he!
    JULIE MOFFETT:—and blogs have been posting serious claims about this as well.
    LISA SCOTT: Ha ha ha ha!
    JULIE MOFFETT: One says that, ahhhh, Putin’s, ahhhh, actually suffered a STROKE and he’s in a Moscow hospital—
    MORA: They’re interviewing their typewriters, we know this don’t we!
    JULIE MOFFETT: Ha ha ha ha! That’s right! And, ahhhhmm, other people are saying that he’s got advanced CANCER! So this is really, a bit like the Paul McCartney Abbey Road conspiracy.
    MORA: Which he developed in the last five days. This advanced form of cancer.
    LISA SCOTT: He hasn’t come and said “Rumors of my demise” at any point?
    MORA: He’s just gonna stage a big, you know—
    JULIE MOFFETT: Comeback.
    MORA: Yeah. Bare-shirted.
    LISA SCOTT: A ha ha ha! Yeah, it always is!
    MORA: Is there any–I mean, are there any complicating factors which add any credence to the supposition—
    JULIE MOFFETT: Well, he HAS been canceling meetings! So he’s, ahhh, cancelled a meeting with the new, ahhhh, head of the office that used to be the KGB, ahmmmmm, and he has also cancelled a trip to, errr, Kazakhstan as well.
    MORA: Oooohh, that could be serious, ‘cos of course we know that he likes to go to Kazakhstan.
    JULIE MOFFETT: [chortling] He’s DYING to go to there! Literally.
    So there’s nothing to it really.
    JULIE MOFFETT: N-n-no, it doesn’t SOUND like it, but hey! You never know! Maybe he’ll come back and he’s had a facelift!
    LISA SCOTT: A ha ha!
    MORA: Interesting. But five days, I suppose, for Vladimir Putin is a long time.
    JULIE MOFFETT: Mmm, mmmm. Mmm.
    MORA: Okay.
    ….Pause….
    JULIE MOFFETT: Ummmmm, the top one hundred universities in the world by reputation has been done.
    MORA: Interesting way of ranking it. This is the Times Educational Supplement one, isn’t it.
    JULIE MOFFETT: Yeah. And there are no New Zealand universities in it.
    MORA: Yeah what’s happened to our varsities?
    ….et cetera, et cetera, ad nauseam….
    I didn’t have the stomach to listen to any more of this crap, but I note that later in the program they were scheduled to feign seriousness and “discuss” the effects of music videos on young people. Perhaps Mora, Moffett and Scott would have been better to examine themselves instead, and consider whether New Zealanders’ brains are rotted by listening to the kind of nasty and moronic banter they served up on The Panel preshow this afternoon.
    • North25.1
      13 March 2015 at 8:54 pm
      Steve McCabe (was it?) wasn’t bad though Morrissey. Had a bit of a spray about ThePonceKey……to be answered, mockingly, patronisingly by Mora with “Well YOU”VE nailed your colours to the mast Steve McCabe !”
      Whereas in response to Key worshippers like that insufferable political science graduate now Beer Expert Neil Miller Old Suckarse Jimmy just goes on being The Nicest Man In The World.
      • Morrissey25.1.1
        14 March 2015 at 4:34 pm
        Steve McCabe (was it?) wasn’t bad though Morrissey. Had a bit of a spray about ThePonceKey……to be answered, mockingly, patronisingly by Mora with “Well YOU”VE nailed your colours to the mast Steve McCabe !”
        Thanks for that, North. I listened only to the part I transcribed, and Steve McCabe had not arrived in the studio at that point. I have generally been most impressed with his contributions in the past. Like Dita Di Boni, he is not afraid to speak clearly and honestly, and has a limited tolerance for fools.
        Whereas in response to Key worshippers like that insufferable political science graduate now Beer Expert Neil Miller Old Suckarse Jimmy just goes on being The Nicest Man In The World.
        Yes, his bias is irrefutable. He told me in an email a few years ago that he lets “both sides have their say.” That was untrue then, and it’s even more untrue now.
  3. greywarshark26
    13 March 2015 at 6:42 pm
    Morrissey you deserve a medal. This is light magazine stuff for airheads. They should stick to it and not get into grown up matters. It’s dinner table chat stuff as no doubt heard at their houses, and not taxing on people who don’t like to be taxed. Hah,hah…laughs winsomely.

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