Sunday 21 January 2018

“Ha ha ha ha! They can’t get RID of him!” (Jul. 16, 2013)

“Ha ha ha ha! They can’t get RID of him!”
Snickering and guffawing at the victims of state vengeance

The Panel, Radio NZ National, Tuesday 16 July 2013
Noelle McCarthy, Linda Clark, Tony Doe
NOELLE McCARTHY: Good afternoon to Linda Clark in Wellington!
LINDA CLARK: Oh good afternoon! Ha ha ha ha ha! I’ve just come up to the studio in Radio New Zealand’s new lift! They’re spending some serious money on this place! There’s a new mural in the foyer! There’s a g-r-r-r-r-reat view of Wellington!
ZOE FERGUSON: That’s Wellington on a good day. The weather’s been so bad for the last two days that we haven’t seen any view.
NOELLE McCARTHY: [grimly] Heh, heh, heh. Well someone else with not such a good view is Edward Snowden. [snicker] Looks like he’s STILL in the airport.
ZOE FERGUSON: Ha ha ha ha ha! They can’t get RID of him!
LINDA CLARK: Ha ha ha ha ha!
NOELLE McCARTHY: All the other countries that might have taken him have been spooked by the United States.
ZOE FERGUSON: And Vladimir Putin really doesn’t seem to have much of an idea at all about the whole case.
TONY DOE: If he’d been required to sign an online contract, he would have just ticked the box, “Terms and Conditions”.
NOELLE McCARTHY: Huh?
TONY DOE: The box that says “I have read everything and understand it fully.” Only nobody does!
NOELLE McCARTHY: [coldly] Oh yes. Ha ha.
…..[Awkward silence]….
NOELLE McCARTHY: And something on the impending royal birth?
ZOE FERGUSON: Yes, Brits are spending more than £243 million on celebrations for the birth of William and Kate’s first child!
NOELLE McCARTHY:We laugh, but that is serious money!
LINDA CLARK: Incidentally, that’s the topic for The Vote on TV3 tomorrow night: “Should New Zealand ditch the Monarchy”?
NOELLE McCARTHY: Sounds intriguing! Are you going to give us a preview?
LINDA CLARK: Well, no, except to say that we filmed the program on Sunday evening and that Sir Robert Jones took part. And for a Knight of the Realm, he was behaving VERY badly indeed!
NOELLE McCARTHY: Heh, heh, heh! Can’t wait!
Later in the program, the following highly revealing exchange took place…..
LINDA CLARK: Here I am, an intelligent woman, and yet I know EVERYTHING about the Kardashians and NOTHING about Syria!
TONY DOE: You’re going to the wrong sites. You should read go to the Atlantic website. That’s really good.
LINDA CLARK: Well, I get the New Yorker in hard copy at home, and that’s my long read.
et cetera et cetera, ad nauseam…..

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