"Do you know where the APES come from?" Radio Sport's Breakfast of Morons (Sept. 2, 2005)

"Do you know where the APES come from?"
Radio Sport's Breakfast of Morons (Sept. 2, 2005)

Ahhhhh, the (thankfully long-gone) former Radio Sport breakfast host
MARTIN DEVLIN.  What a legacy he left us...

..........
Devlin the respected journalist.  Here he is trying to inveigle manager
John Graham to grant him an interview with the NZ cricket team straight
after it had beaten England at Lord's, 1998...
DEVLIN:  Why can't I speak to them?
JOHN GRAHAM: Martin, this is their private time.  You can speak to them
later, as we arranged.
DEVLIN:  Oh why can't I speak to them NOW though?
JOHN GRAHAM: Martin, you can, later.  As we arranged.
DEVLIN:  But - but - why not NOW?
JOHN GRAHAM: Martin, how many times do you have to be told?
DEVLIN: [whimpering] You don't have to talk to me like I'm a little
fourth former!

Devlin the rugby expert....
CALLER: Is he any relation of the late Greg Davis?
DEVLIN: [long pause] Who?
CALLER: [taken aback] The great Wallaby captain.
DEVLIN: Who?

Devlin the soccer expert...
DEVLIN: [deadly serious] I think you'll find that Flamengo is an
Argentinian soccer club.
CALLER: [stunned tones]  W-w-w-w-w-wha-a-a-a-a-at?

Devlin the rugby expert (again)...
ANDY HADEN: That's the problem with you, boy.  You don't KNOW anything.
DEVLIN: [voice breaking up, on verge of tears] Have you ALWAYS been an
a-hole?

Devlin the comedian....
DEVLIN: He got killed with a HAMMER!  Oh GOD, just imagine the MESS!
Ha ha ha ha ha!
"SHUNTER" (PRODUCER): Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
DEVLIN: Ker-SQUISH!
"SHUNTER": Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
DEVLIN: Splat!

There is a happy ending: he's gone.

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So you thought things could only get better following the long-overdue

departure of Martin Devlin from the breakfast show on Radio Sport?

Think again.

Here's his replacement TONY VEITCH, talking this morning about tennis
player Serena Williams...

TONY VEITCH:  Do you know where the APES come from? She's a reminder!